im a sophmore in highschool, and i have gone through a lot with my mom. My background story is fine nothing wrong as a kid my parents are still together blah blah. But it started in 7th grade. My mom started making me more and more angry as the days went on.. It didnt get real bad until 8th grade though. My mom was driving me to the point where i was suicidal. I didnt want to live here any longer. I attempted, was too scared and gave that attempt up, then about a week later, one of my former good friends decided to take her own life without telling anyone she was struggling. It hit me very hard and i was in denial for about 3 weeks. Her funeral was torture. Ill never forget how she looked laying there… I saw how much it hurt our community, i realized that i didnt want to be remembered that way and i needed help. I told my Mom that i was having problems andthat i was suicidal but instead of getting me help, she told me it was just a phase and that i needed to get over it. I asked her many times if i could go get help from different mental institutions and she turned me down every chance she got. Later in the year she lost a lotttt of weight. Im built, volleyball player and just thick, and when she lost that weight she decided tocome and use my clothing. After a while even my clothes were too big on her. (its not like im fat im size 5 in jeans) she began to then tell me how i was too fat and needed to lose pounds. When i was working out everyday of the week as i play on a national volleyball team year-round. She told me how i needed to lose weight everyday of my life, so, i became bulimic. I lost about 20 pounds within 3 weeks. But my bestfriend noticed and made me stop . So i made a promise to her that i wouldnt do it again… After that about a month later, i was very suicidal again. I attempted again, this time the only thing that saved me was my best friend who talked me out of it. God id be long gone withDout her. After that i was still depressed but not horrible as i had people to talk to. In 9th grade i became more depressed again and my mom and i were fighting more than ever. About everything. My mom is very protective. She reads all my texts and looks at calls and internet and everything. Im not allowed to date or go to parties and some may say its because she “loves me” but i say she doesnt want me to grow up. I need to live. And she wants me to be just like her when iiii do not want to be anything like her. I started seeing my school councelor and vented to her every once in a while and it felt good! But school year ended sooo that option was gone… Im hoping to talk to her again this year.. But im really strugggling right now with just everything… I feel like i need to go bak to throwing up my food every day and bruising myself in order to feel better… I but i really just needed to share my story so whoever read ALL of my boringness and probably wasted your time… Thanks.(: it means a lot to me really… Feel free to comment if you have questions or advice itd mean a ton(:!!!!
I’m sorry to hear that. I can relate where you’re coming from & what you’re going through…..
My sister in the past has teased me about my weight and she would call me FAT!!!! That was not a nice comment. But now I have over came it. I know it hurts… Believe me when even your own family says negative things to their siblings etc… You tend to think to yourself . WOW. EVEN MY OWN SISTER IS MEAN TO ME & You think why ? What did I ever do to her? Does she HATE me or something? Girl just ignore it…. If you love yourself for who you are in the end that’s all that matters 🙂 I hope this helped you out a little
Your mom sounds scary. She definitely has a lot of her own issues and she’s manipulating you and acting like a mother NEVER should. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. Does your dad ever see this behavior? Are there ever times you truly get along with your mother or is it pretty much always her criticizing you for just being a normal teenage girl? I’m sure you’re beautiful just as you are, I wish you had a better female role model
Mein Gott, I fail to comprehend how anyone can treat their children like this. Wow.
Please stay strong. Your mother doesn’t know anything about how to raise a teenager, but you can’t hurt yourself because of her. You can make it through high school and then go away to live on your own. Then you won’t have to deal with this shit. In the meantime, eat your meals, and don’t worry about gaining weight. I became almost anorexic as a result of not eating, and it was not good at all. You don’t want that to happen.
I struggled as a teen as well, but I made it through, and I know you can too. <3
Yes its ridiculous… She has no idea how much she hurts me.! Everytime i try to talk to her she just shoves me away!! She really doesnt have much time for and ad when she does its always us screaming at eachother! But lol i forgot to put the main part into my story, i justdont know how much longer i can put up with her… Like some days are better than others but some days i really just want to let go and die.. But like i dont want to disapoint people around me… I just need to get away from her!!
In reply to scarredkitten, yes, my mom is scary… Shes a control freak as well and she wants me to be exactlyyyy like her. Shes so fake! She will be screaming at me one minute then get on the phone and be a whole nother person! Sappy and sweet like nothing ever happened, which makes me evwn more angry! But btw thankyou for all of your comments theyve helped!!(:
And in reply to persephone: thankyou for your comment, its really hard to stay positive, i try… But im always judging myself on my appaerences and how i look like… And im insecure about my body for sure… In my school we have 800 kids in my GRADE.! only my grade.. Its crazy.! But looking around at all of my friends who are the popular but not snobby atheletes in the school along with me, i look at all of them and wonder y i cant look like them, have the perfect toned body like them, i ask them what workouts they do and i do all the same!! But it doesnt work on me/: im short also and im thick im almost smushed lol. But i guess i will just have to learn to live with it, which i will eventually, just not yet obviously…