Tired of putting up with her…

im a sophmore in highschool, and i have gone through a lot with my mom. My background story is fine nothing wrong as a kid my parents are still together blah blah. But it started in 7th grade. My mom started making me more and more angry as the days went on.. It didnt get real bad until 8th grade though. My mom was driving me to the point where i was suicidal. I didnt want to live here any longer. I attempted, was too scared and gave that attempt up, then about a week later, one of my former good friends decided to take her own life without telling anyone she was struggling. It hit me very hard and i was in denial for about 3 weeks. Her funeral was torture. Ill never forget how she looked laying there… I saw how much it hurt our community, i realized that i didnt want to be remembered that way and i needed help. I told my Mom that i was having problems andthat i was suicidal but instead of getting me help, she told me it was just a phase and that i needed to get over it. I asked her many times if i could go get help from different mental institutions and she turned me down every chance she got. Later in the year she lost a lotttt of weight. Im built, volleyball player and just thick, and when she lost that weight she decided tocome and use my clothing. After a while even my clothes were too big on her. (its not like im fat im size 5 in jeans) she began to then tell me how i was too fat and needed to lose pounds. When i was working out everyday of the week as i play on a national volleyball team year-round. She told me how i needed to lose weight everyday of my life, so, i became bulimic. I lost about 20 pounds within 3 weeks. But my bestfriend noticed and made me stop . So i made a promise to her that i wouldnt do it again… After that about a month later, i was very suicidal again. I attempted again, this time the only thing that saved me was my best friend who talked me out of it. God id be long gone withDout her. After that i was still depressed but not horrible as i had people to talk to. In 9th grade i became more depressed again and my mom and i were fighting more than ever. About everything. My mom is very protective. She reads all my texts and looks at calls and internet and everything. Im not allowed to date or go to parties and some may say its because she “loves me” but i say she doesnt want me to grow up. I need to live. And she wants me to be just like her when iiii do not want to be anything like her. I started seeing my school councelor and vented to her every once in a while and it felt good! But school year ended sooo that option was gone… Im hoping to talk to her again this year.. But im really strugggling right now with just everything… I feel like i need to go bak to throwing up my food every day and bruising myself in order to feel better… I but i really just needed to share my story so whoever read ALL of my boringness and probably wasted your time… Thanks.(: it means a lot to me really… Feel free to comment if you have questions or advice itd mean a ton(:!!!!