In my dreams, I always dreamt I cut myself so deep that I’d lay there dying in an ocean of my own blood. For so many nights, I dreamed IÂ bled more than normal, I dreamt I lay there as the life blood flows from my body. It always has the same end. Everyone I loved runs in my room in blinding fury. They look at me with deadly smiles and wicked eyes. Charging towards my barely conscience body, they reach into my skin and rip out my veins. And I scream…I scream so loud over their animalistic laughter. I’m drowning in my own blood, but […]
Tag:
God
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]
That’s how i feel 99 percent of the time. I feel so alone. I hate bein alone. I hate it because I can think. And its bad when I think. Nothing good ever comes out of that, only scars and tears and bad thoughts. I feel like everyone is forgetting me. Why can’t I be normal and loved? Why did God have to put me in this place? I hate living and I wish I was dead. Nothing good ever happens so there is no point to it then. Why hurt when freedom is just on the other side? It doesn’t cost to die. And […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.
My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.
Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]
You’re right that life isn’t fair. Because people are self-absorbed, yes. Because people are selfish, yes. We’re born into a world that we know, as soon as we become enough aware we know, we have to leave sooner or later.
And we spend that time trying to fill it with as many positive experiences as possible. That’s all we really want, isn’t it? Our day in the sun?
Well, we didn’t make the sun. I’m not religious, but I’m sure as hell we didn’t make the sun. Or the ocean. Or the mountains. Or the sky. You’re right; you didn’t choose to come into the world. You […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.” – Agent Smith (The Matrix)
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
not sure where to start. my parents took me to sunday school when i was real little, but i never really understood anything i learned. i stopped going, and in middle school i stopped believing in christ. one of the biggest mistakes i ever made. in october 2009 i was going out with a girl named bella. she was, and is to this day, the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. what got me was her eyes. she had deep, intense green eyes. and such a sweet voice. no matter what i was feeling, she always made me feel happy. loved. i loved her […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]
…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1
Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.
Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!
No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!
Expand […]
I think I’m waiting to die…I wake up and all i think about is the end of the day.  THE only time I’m happy is when i sleep.  When i think about killing myself…i don’t think about is a WRONG…i think of it a solution.  A solution to the problem of my pathetic life.  Everyone in my life thinks I’m just PERFECT…but I’m not so far…I feel like I’m a BRAND NEW CAR…running on cheap water-downed gas.  So I’m waiting…WAITING for GOD to take me away from here.  I wouldn’t mind if it was painful…SOMETIMES i think i cant feel any EMOTIONS…i feel cold and dark inside…I don’t think i could […]
To me it seems as though God has chosen certain people to live out their lives in happiness. These people have an abundance of friends, these people are almost always happy, smiling, laughing. There are more of these people in the world than people like us, the depressed ones. The happy people are everywhere. I am not one of these people, i think i could say that none of us on this site are those people but, I dont know anybody here personally, so im not sure. People keep telling me that God has a plan for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. […]
Life is a *****, and I like what the other poster yesterday posted here: “shit do happensâ€. it’s unfair. and even I myself still try to determine whether everything is totally pure random coincidences (and thus some got dealt the bad deck of the cards), or there is some kind of Providence or Higher Forces (God? Aliens? ETs?) who ‘play’ with our fate/destiny…and a seemingly “cruel†one at that, but hey, They are free to make ‘experiments’, right?..
A mundane, boring, dull, and hellish real world where it’s NOT supposed to be…
by niki
written by niki
Let’s face it: the real-world, especially one invented by normal mainstream society, can be boring dull as hell.
I often feel like I don’t belong here in this real world, and probably belong to other planet/universe/dimension.. already I’ve tried to find & browse for some clues that there are so much more mysteries & even magical things outside of our dull, limited earthly-sensed physical body called human.
and maybe I’ll migrate there, perhaps even sooner.
Although I still love the Earth (as a planet),
and admittedly even some Good citizens of it, ie: the warm, light-hearted, the intellectual, the ‘philosopher’ kind who can exchange conversations […]
Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.
Fuck it.
Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]
Part 2 of the 16 series
so far very interesting & mind-opening…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cMcoikRddw