Tag:

goes

Taking Stuff I Shouldn’t

by seppuku 8/29/2014

written by seppuku

Well, that could almost be the story of my life.

But I’ve never been much of a drug addict.

I’ve taken a lot of crap from people and kept my mouth shut.

Now I want to take some shit to shut up the crap in my head (see what I did there?)

The stuff is called N, it comes in powdered form, it was not purchased for this purpose.

I get unbelievably lonely and bored as I don’t have a job or many mates to hang with.

I’m like the 60’s housewife popping pills to get through her day.

I need to man (woman?) up and do stuff with my life, but […]

8/29/2014 10 comments

Seahawks

by listeninghope 8/23/2014

written by listeninghope

Surprisingly the Seattle football team is putting me in good spirits. Knowing everyone there is having such a wonderful time cheering with friends and family distracts my mind from the darker ideas. I’m not sad tonight. Which is a good thing. It helps to read these posts and understand how others feel and live with what goes on inside them. Thank you for this site

8/23/2014 1 comment

Freedom

by 78hundred 8/22/2014

written by 78hundred

Finally, it makes sense.

Just give up on the idea of a perfect social conforming future. Ha!

I’ve never felt so comfortable in my life. I never have to care again.

If I don’t find a job, stiff biscuits! I’m at home anyway, so support is always there.

No partner ever again. Been there, experienced it. Better than not having had that at all.

It just moves on. Carefree as it goes. The only stresses in life are the ones caused by excessive desire for social success and the needless comparison to other people, who don’t care about you anyway.

So I say fuck it! Take your […]

8/22/2014 4 comments

Painful Existence

by TwistedSpace 8/21/2014

written by TwistedSpace

I tried hanging myself the other day. I wanted everything to be over. I was tired of suffering the way I was. It goes so beyond depression, too. I suffer from schizophrenia, which is like the worst thing ever. I also suffer from Sickle Cell Anemia. So in addition to seeing and hearing things, I have intense pain all over my body. I can hardly get out of bed some days. I hate myself. I feel like I’m hiding behind all of it, wanting people to feel sorry for me.

The belt I used to hang myself broke as I began to lose consciousness. So I […]

8/21/2014 6 comments

Whats your Choice?

by Broken_Soul 8/19/2014

written by Broken_Soul

Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]

8/19/2014 1 comment

obssession with death

by DeadGirlNotFound 8/18/2014

written by DeadGirlNotFound

really, its real and it never goes, the addiction to think about ways to kill yourself is so strong, i even dream of it, how peacefully my body will lay, how i will leave everything here and how.. all i have done, all people have done to me will disappear. there will be nothingness and i will sink in the ocean of infinite security. i need this place, i need to feel safe from all the fight, all the hatred, all the people.

8/18/2014 4 comments

Hoe ass friend.

by lifeishorrible 8/17/2014

written by lifeishorrible

It started three weeks ago when I saw my cousin.I never understood why my ex would have panic attacks until I myself I had one that day.I just started breathing uncontrollably & I started hiding my face everytime I was around I was just trying to get as far away from him as possible.Anyways I cut that night.I started hiding my cuts & I was home alone so I took the armband off.The door bell rings & It’s my friend.I go outside & I see his eyes lock down looking down & In my head I’m like what’s he looking at so hard then I […]

8/17/2014 0 comment

KNOWING WHEN

by fenceguy2 8/14/2014

written by fenceguy2

never in my life did I think there were as many people who feel the same way as me. I am 45, been battling since I was 10 or so. I have won and lost, two prior attempts that but by the grace of God i survived. However even though I firmly believe I am a walking miracle I still know that one day I will end it.
I don’t know exactly when, but I do know what will be my last straw, and that will be when I lose my best and only true friend Chip. my chocolate lab. he is 6 now, so […]

8/14/2014 11 comments

He Actually Did It

by Khumz 8/12/2014

written by Khumz

All The Oscars,money and fame couldnt stop depression from attacking you!depression just doesnt attack poor people only,it can attack anyone.He wasnt born with depression,but has been battling it for years,HE WAS A COMEDIAN!!made people laugh all the time,and yet depp down he wasnt happy.goes to show that we can smile and shake hands around people,while dying inside.63years,and he did it!he mustve been contemplating it for months or whatever,becoz we all want to do it,but keep holdin on,faith,or whatever.shit is real!
he can finally find peace.R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS

8/12/2014 1 comment

We lost one of our own today, Robin Williams

by vedura 8/11/2014

written by vedura

My heart goes out to Robin for the pain he endured and to his family and friends for their loss. So many gifted comics suffer from depression. Comedy is one way to deal with an inane world and internal pain. Robin shared his gift abundantly with us. RIP, Robin.

8/11/2014 8 comments

by why i dont no 8/11/2014

written by why i dont no

now thats a song i could die to thats a song i could cloce my eyes and stop my heart to thats a song i could shut down my braine to and let my taterd sole be huged and kissed by an angel to thats a song that gives me hope in the dark gives a reson to die for me but i whant to be here with her im only going if she goes and hopefuly she whont but if she dose thats what i will go to so i can be held by the mother earth and her so i can smile close […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

silence is deafening

by i_deadman 8/10/2014

written by i_deadman

I don’t know what i’m doing, i’m trying to find reasons not to die but its becoming exceedingly difficult each day. I don’t feel i’m worth anything to anyone, i know i’m not. I don’t make attachments or really feel anything towards anyone, but there is always this one person it all goes into. Every time i love i’m brought to a grinding halt, reminded why i shouldn’t go there.

I really wish i knew what the point to all this is, everything is just pointless bullshit. What’s the point of living when you’re brain dead? when nothing makes you happy, sad or excited?

I’m trying to […]

8/10/2014 6 comments

Feeling the………

by PeelASquid 8/7/2014

written by PeelASquid

Look into my eyes,

What do you see?

Look into them hard,

Look at the real me.

Empty and dark,

Spirit is dead.

Feeling the numbness,

Inside my head.

Heart cold as steel,

Heart cold as ice,

Giving my love,

It paid the price.

The heart it beats on,

Keeps the body alive,

Demons inside me,

It’s where they thrive.

The struggle goes on,

Goes on each day.

The fight comes to an end.

In the coffin I lay.

8/7/2014 6 comments

The starlight of day.

by PeelASquid 8/7/2014

written by PeelASquid

Sunrise a new day,

Night came and left,

Today’s the same way.

Nothing new,

It’s just like before.

Still want to die,

Everyday feel it more.

As each day goes by,

It becomes clearer to see.

Few give a fuck,

Who’s there for me?

Many good words,

People they say.

You have reason to live,

You have reason to stay.

But what they don’t know,

Is what they can’t see.

Until the day comes,

Maybe then cry over me.

8/7/2014 5 comments

Strange come to terms.

by cntsay 7/31/2014

written by cntsay

So I’ve had these thoughts before that I just want to go but this was years ago I mean like ova 5/6 years ago. These were always easy to understand that in a bad place bad times not happy etc.
Now all has changed, I have no issues in life or with people all is good, but now I feel at ease with it all.
Recently thoughts returned and I’m quite happy about it how at peace I am with the idea, the thought of going mostly puts me in a really good mood and crack on with the days work looking forward to later […]

7/31/2014 0 comment

Self-harm Poem…

by CrimsonDream 7/30/2014

written by CrimsonDream

She’s proud of herself but she won’t tell you why

It has now been a month since she’s last even tried.

The voices won’t stop but today she’s won

She put down her razor and put down her gun.

After hours of thinking silently to herself

She goes and picks up her old friend off the shelf.

Overwhelmed with emotions she picks up her blades

and disposed of the evil that would send her to the grave.

So for the first time in awhile her lips crack a smile

It won’t be easy but in the […]

7/30/2014 0 comment

Where I come from

by Thatothersmightlive 7/30/2014

written by Thatothersmightlive

Finally a site where I can be honest and tell the truth. So where did I come from? From about age 13 or so under the influence of some great adult leaders I got into helping people especially in the area of health care.

Whether it was in my early age with the first aid and CPR card, until the 30 years that I’ve been licensed as a paramedic and respiratory therapist I did my best for everyone. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline rush or just the pure joy of seeing someone get better or comforted at their time of death I was […]

7/30/2014 2 comments

The Moment

by OnEmanOnEman 7/29/2014

written by OnEmanOnEman

Well, this is the way
it goes for some of us.
We try our best,
we fight the good fight…
…and yet we cannot succeed
against the greater forces.

..And After everything
we’d been through,
Our moment
will finally arrive.
To part from this world,
and to move on to the other!!!

7/29/2014 0 comment

by suicidal.bunny 7/28/2014

written by suicidal.bunny

Her heart is hurting

Her body is aching.

The scars aren’t fading

The memories aren’t leaving.

She runs in pain

She fights and hides.

That girl is falling

That girl is fading.

Her wirsts are bleeding

Her mind is closing.

The bleeding is ending

The blade goes cold.

She sees the light

She runs towards it.

That girl is leaving

That girl is gone. –

g.r.

———-

Written by me…

7/28/2014 0 comment

why me

by 5897 7/28/2014

written by 5897

I lost my eldest son to suicide 7 years ago. Since then all the hopes and dreams I had have gone to hell. my daughter-in-law can’t admit to me the problems she has coping with me and the hurt I have to live with so she ignores me. This wouldn’t matter but it means I don’t get contact with my grand daughter and she doesn’t see how that hurts me. But wait there’s more: my only other son suffers from borderline personality disorder and takes everything that goes wrong in his life out on me. I lent him money 3years ago to get him out […]

7/28/2014 8 comments

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