i’ve been suicidal for a long time now, and i was gonna kill myself. before i could, my uncle unknowingly stopped me by giving me a dog. at first i was gonna tell him no i couldn’t take care of her. before i could tell him no he told me about her. her name is tricksy she is a little rat terrier mix. she is a rescue i took her from a couple that kept her in a cage for the first year of her life. they beat, neglected and yield at her for nothing. they never took her out of her cage, not even […]
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gonna
Im 25 and so lonely. I don’t have a job or many friends. I’ve never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. I sincerely think I’m super ugly. The last time someone told me I was pretty was on Myspace. So that was a long time ago. I’m chunky, have big feet, broad shoulders, and have dark skin where there shouldn’t be. I’ve tried lots of things to try to lighten it, but nothing had worked. I can’t wear low cut tops or short shorts. I don’t even feel like girl. I feel like this big disgusting monster. I honestly don’t think any […]
Instead of cutting my leg or stomach like I usually do, I made a few slits on my wrist. Not deep….but I was satisfied with the amount of blood I drew. Fucked up, I know.
The thing is now it’s gonna be harder to hide. I think I’m finally getting my courage to go further to the vitals. If the rope doesn’t beat the knife to it.
Boy oh boy. Sorry if this is a trigger to any of you. I don’t even know why I feel the need to say this stuff.
I just don’t understand people’s fascination to live same as they can’t understand my […]
So, it’s back. 8 yrs of pain. 4 years clean. 389 or something cuts. More are being added. It’s back. And it’s prolly gonna stay for equity a while.
Why? I had 6 people to go to.
1. Samantha. She is too busy with her life to bother with a cutters issues.
2. Rachael. She hardens me because a douchbag (the one that causes painful reminders) spread stuff around, and made her believe i am a liar.
3. Jessica. Hardly see her, and she’s too worn out to even notice my presence.
4. Brody. I see him in the day. But once schools out. . .
5. Josh. He has begun […]
So, it’s the end of a terrible spring break. Last week, a kid in my class began making fun of Death, like it was something casual. He asked my closest friend if she “wanted to die”. She of course replied no, but he replied with “I think you’re lying”. I told him not to joke around about Death, cuz some people have bad memories with it. He flipped out on me, saying it was natural and nothing can stop it. Now, he had heard about my friend, and how she died in front of me, thanks to me, but he obviously didn’t care. It’s hard […]
My dad and I had an argument last night… He might split me and my girlfriend… He said he’s gonna find me counselling for my suicide… If I lose her, I’m gonna need more than counselling and to stop me.
just gonna wait and see for now and while i’m at it i’ll “work” a bit
i would love to kill myself right now. Â I just can’t tolerate myself anymore. I have no desire for anything, Ive been carrying to much weight on my shoulders for so long. Â I just cant keep going anymore. But Im just gonna go to sleep n live one more day
I just can’t trust one of my friends.They keep going to the school guidance officer and telling him every little bit of information I tell them about me.I am really getting sick of , yesterday one of their parents actually rang the deputy principal and told him I was gonna hurt my self, I never even said that to anyone so where are they getting that information from.Today my mum got a phone call from the guidance officer saying that one of my friends parents printed out pictures of things I posted on Instagram, why can’t they just mind their own business and stop making […]
so I’m gonna do it tonight but I feel like I’m being selfish to my family?? The whole town knowing and friends family but should I care cuss I’ll b dead or am I trying to find an excuse out????
This is pretty tough. So what if I get through the day. and tomorrow. I’m 24 years old and when I’m homeless eventually I will probably have no choice. I’m gonna be the one living with my parents until they kick me out or pass. Then I can pass too. How do we escape this nexus. I know how but I still cant do it. Been a warrior for a while, IDK how much longer I can live, maybe couple weeks.
I just found out that my ex got married.I’d be lying If I said I’m over her.I’m happy for her tho.I wish her and her husband the best.I just wish I could talk to him to tell him to not fight back cause that Is a fight you will never win haha.their married now,ofcourse he know’s not to haha.I’m just depressed on how things turned out.I should be the one getting married!!haha.I’m the nicest bf she has ever had!!Every other bf she’s had Is bad!!Like her husband has a tattoo on his face.If your gonna get a tattoo on your face then get tear drops […]
She’s never gonna take me back…
Many people want to end there lives so what the hell makes me any more special then all the other kids. Why am I posting this? I really don’t know I guess I have some things to get off my chest. I’m defiantly not a happy person so you say I’m Severely depressed and I don’t want to change, Â I’m the fuck up and the dumb fuck in my family though everyone thinks I’m the smart happy kid I’m not. people who say I’m too young to be broken, to young to be sad, too young to not know what pain feels like they obviously […]
im CheshireCatMadness and yeah im not gonna be bothered listening to all that it will get better stuff because it wont. Anyway when i was eleven i tried to take an overdose of sytraline anti depressants but i was a coward and my mum caught on and i was rushed to hospital. im not gonna mess up this time… if i take an overdose on sleeping pills i’ll be asleep and i wont feel death. its important that its quick so i dont have regrets and painless and easy to get hold of. i dont wanna wake up and im hoping i wont feel any […]
So my dad’s found about my self-harm and suicidal stuff
And I have to go a counselor every Tuesday
Does this mean everythings starting to heal? Or will everything I’ve been trying to build (my life) crumble back to dust back when I first got depressed? This is probably my paranoia, Â just don’t know what’s gonna happen
I feel like I can get better, but my family is constantly fighting and it gets so bad I have to actually leave for hours at a time so I can just get away, I’m lucky I don’t pass anything I can use for self-harm, I don’t even know […]
You were that foundation
Never gonna be another one, no.
I followed, so taken
So conditioned I could never let go
Then sorrow, then sickness
Then the shock when you flip it on me
So hollow, so vicious
So afraid I couldn’t let myself see
That I could never be held
Back or up no, I’ll hold myself
Check the rep, yep you know mine well
Forget the rest let them know my hell
There and back yet my soul ain’t sell
Kept respect up,the best they fell,
Let the rest be the tale they tell
i can never understand why society is that way it is. My mom treats me like she doesn’t even care, im certain by now that i’m just a waste of space. My dad left when i was born but came back a couple years later only to just beat me and yell at me, my brothers and my mom. I struggle in school because i’m bisexual, im supposedly going to burn in hell. No one gives me a chance to get to know me, just one look and it’s obvious  i’m an outcast. I don’t want to fit in with society. I’m not gonna live […]
I’ve been going out with the same girl for over 5 years. Tonight, when everyone will be sleeping, this is gonna end. Those are simple words. Meaningless words for you all. But you don’t know. Nobody knows. You’re not breathing my absence of air right now. You’re not filled with these sharp sticks inside your stomach. You’re all in your own world and it doesn’t affect you at all. So why am I writting it ?
To distract myself, maybe. To pause the destructive emotions. To use Mr. Brain and forget about Mr Heart for few minutes.
She will cry a lot. She will definitly hate me. She […]
Im trying to get more info regarding setting up the helium myself, but it seems like all the info on here has been deleted/filtered by the mod