Tag:

grieving

Have you ever

by checherose555 10/22/2017

written by checherose555

Have you ever f*cked up a situation or friendship that you honestly believed was unf*ckable? That you believed was foolproof, with no f*ckabilty ratio?

I did that yesterday..and it sucks.

I just thought I could open up more, to someone I have been trying to open up to for a few years now. It is not a relationship, but it was helping me get through some things. I considered him to be a friend. And now he sees me as a crazy, depressed, hopeless loon; so I lost another friend.

Here’s to another birthday knowing that I should just keep my f*cking mouth shut when it comes […]

10/22/2017 2 comments

Grieving

by LostSoul 12/30/2016

written by LostSoul

My Nan practically raised me when I was younger and today marks the four year anniversary of her death; she died when I was 13 or cancer. Most of the time I get by quite fine, when I don’t think about it, I try and push it away, but right now, it’s so hard.
I can’t stop crying and I know grieving is normal, but I just, is it still okay to cry? When will it stop being okay? Does it stop being okay when people around you forget who she was? Why does my mind still sometimes forget she’s dead, and why do I […]

12/30/2016 5 comments

old days…

by Soco 5/26/2016

written by Soco

As some of u may know, I commute about 2 hours each way to and from work. Part of my journey takes me past my old high school which I left a long long long time ago. I also go thru areas that were my old stomping grounds and even past two houses I used to live in with my parents. most days I pretty much keep my head down and read a book or look and post here on sp. But for some reason today I was casually looking out the bus Window when I got hit with all these memories from […]

5/26/2016 8 comments

Remembering, and…

by Cordless 5/21/2016

written by Cordless

It’s late enough that probably everyone has gone to sleep or is out partying in that fuzzy world where beer helps us forget everything else.

But I’ll just post this anyway, to help myself think.

About 3 months ago, I posted THIS about a guy in our symphony who died. (Possibly/probably suicide).

His memorial service was last Thursday (they kept him on ice an extra long time because they had to wait for his brother to get home from overseas).

Since he was an excellent trumpet player, I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay tribute to that by composing a piece we can […]

5/21/2016 12 comments

feeling depressed again

by evildandelions 2/28/2016

written by evildandelions

Feeling depressed sad, not grieving sad. At least it feels like it, like I’d be feeling this way (mostly) even if my fiance and I were still together.

I do feel like I’ve sort of accepted she’s gone and what’s happened, maybe. But it feels like my life is just a cycle of loss and tragedy on top of unrelenting depression and anxiety. The only reprieve I’ve had was when I was with my fiance/girlfriend. Our first year together is probably the happiest I can remember ever being- not only was I in love with an amazing woman who loved me back, but right before we […]

2/28/2016 9 comments

Failure

by evildandelions 12/29/2015

written by evildandelions

I failed.

I don’t mean that I’m a failure as a person or that my fiance leaving me means I’m not “good enough,” but that I failed to be the person that she wanted to be with, the person she felt she could be with. I failed to be the person she thought of as family, as someone permanent.

This is what hurts the most.

It doesn’t help that I feel like I’m the one left behind, the one who’ll take longer to recover (if ever?). She’ll go back to school this semester, taking five classes (although honestly, based on her track record, I suspect she’ll drop at […]

12/29/2015 2 comments

Emotionally all over the place

by evildandelions 12/11/2015

written by evildandelions

I feel weird.

Still grieving the loss of my fiance. Still feeling the anxiety and physical pain that comes with it. Still having moments where I feel like I can’t breathe because I think about her and how everything we had is gone. I alternate between feeling incredibly sad and angry. I miss her so much, she’s my best friend, but then I’m angry too, feeling so betrayed that she could even do this.

Then there’s the TMS. I only just started the treatments this week and everything I’ve read about it says that results aren’t seen until about three weeks in. And yet I feel different. It […]

12/11/2015 2 comments

Nothing out of ordinary

by hereme 7/13/2015

written by hereme

I lie in bed, low, apathetic, empty. As usual. Like every day. Life hasn’t felt good since I was a child.

I’ve heard people say that suicide will not solve any problems and will only create a new ones. In my case, I think more problems would be solved that created. Of course, people close to me would have to deal with a loss, would have to burry me, which would be expensive, and then they would be grieving. It’s only two people that would have to suffer. I don’t want to hurt them like that, but I feel that me being alive is causing them more […]

7/13/2015 5 comments

Semper Vigilans- Part II

by Soldier1861 2/9/2014

written by Soldier1861

a few months ago, I wrote a poem. Here it is now:

For I am Civil Air Patrol. No single word can
Describe who I am, what I do or what I
Sacrifice at such a young age…there is no phrase
That can sum up what we do. We sacrifice
Ourselves for the needy, the misfortunate
And grieving. We cross boundlessly across
Dead and barren terrain, hopelessly searching
For one soul. We receive no pay. No special
Treatment. No acclaim. We simply fight.
Fight for freedom and tranquility within our
Borders.

For I am Civil Air Patrol.
The blood we’ve spilt within 72 years is
Tremendous. Over […]

2/9/2014 8 comments

Suffering in silence

by molly woppit 1/22/2014

written by molly woppit

Im really down at the moment.i switch from being depressed to irritable and angry back and fourth my husband is sick of my bipolar and goes off at me if i cry.i just lost a really close friend and im grieving im so sad i have nothing to say i dont have the energy to do anything and i just want to be alone.im sick of being depressed ive had 6 major deppressions in the last year im just worn out im sick of taking pills im sick of myself i wish i was single so i could just hide from the world i wish […]

1/22/2014 2 comments

Grieving

by roojay13 1/30/2013

written by roojay13

Â Â Â Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.

Â Â Â Â On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with â€˜Small Cell Lung Cancerâ€™ and it was devastating to my family.Â Heâ€™d had a pain in his shoulder and when he hadÂ gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia.Â With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]

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1/30/2013 2 comments

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