Have you ever dropped whatever you’re doing and just sat outside, staring at a full moon? I did. It was beautiful. So mesmerizing. To me, it somehow resembled hope. It was like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. It made me feel as if my pain is coming to an end. It gave me hope that there still is something beautiful out there. It gave me the guts to keep on fighting. It brightened up the darkness of the night. It was weird. An inanimate object gave me more hope than a human ever could. I guess silence really does speak after […]
Tag:
Guts
Hello everybody.
Just before I recite my terribly long story, I’d like to wish you all a very pleasant day <3
So .. My story … I’m a 14 year old guy and I have been dealing with a lot emotionally for a couple of years now. Let’s start with my parents. Ever since I was young, everybody thought I had the best parents in the world. Heck, my mom even quit her job just to take care of me and my sister. You might say I’m weird, you might say I’m insensitive for hating my parents when all they do is love me. Right? Anyways, […]
I was happy. I was fine with life. Couldn’t you have let me stay that way? For just a while?
by Anonymous13
written by Anonymous13
Happiness. It was in my reach, merely a week ago. I used to dislike living. I used to complain and moan about things of no significance. I was unhappy, but without a real reason to be. And I knew that. I knew that my unhappiness was uncalled for and most of all: selfish. There were people out there going through real pain, people who had actual reasons to feel this way. So I pulled it together and started focusing on all the positive things in life. My friends, my somewhat dysfunctional family whom I still loved and cared for, my somewhat normal life. I started […]
they say fuck u
i say fuck them
they say go to hell
i say u go first
they say i have no guts to kill myself
i say watch me
they say i need them
i say look where i am with u
they say shut up
i say why dont u
they say we dont need u here
i say i dont need u either
they say they love me
i say thats FUCKING BS!
yes everything above has actually been parts of conversations i have with them, i honestly cant live with them no more. i need away from them…before its […]
I feel so overwhelmed, I want out. My family never listens, so much fucking aggression. Everything is my fault. I want it to stop. Im so over my head, I just want someone to listen. I want something in my life that makes it worth it. I’m so sick of the fucking expectations and lectures and screaming!!!! I just want someone to be civil! No one will talk to me, Im fucking alone. They just get angry and yell when I talk about my feelings. I dont have any adequate instruments to cut myself. I feel like i’m welling up with all these ugly emotions, […]
Hi usually I visit here when I am preparing myself to get of this roller coaster joke called life.
I have had a few good rants and read others rants and sad stories.
I have succeeded in alienating my self from all my friends and most of my family . As was planned so I could just slip away.
I have problems with who I am. As I am gay oriented (maybe bi ) male brought up in a gay hateful environment I have grown up to be very homophobic myself. How this relates to me Is I hate myself for being gay. While I […]
The thing about my sister, is that she is mean. Not only that, but she doesn’t realize that when she tells people these mean, horrible things, that they are affected by it. That what she says to me, makes me feel worse about myself. How many times have I cut myself over things she said or did to me? Too many. How many pills did I try to overdose on, July 1 2010? Over 40. That same year, I overdosed again on August 23. The second Monday in school. That same year, months earlier, I tied together a bunch of knee high socks, and tried […]
Tear after the other, I failed to finish crying….
Keeping this mask on is draining my last bit of sanity..
Why is it when your sad you are always alone? Why is it that only I find pleasure in being there among those  who pretend to care?
Where is everyone now, when I am the one in need?
Been strong for so long, but loneliness has taken its toll on me, I dared to seek care… I dared to ask for tenderness.. I dared to imagine being loved.. But time after time, the nightmare kicked me in the guts, with phantoms of beings which never gave any of such …
Until..
I met […]
I can’t take life anymore i just need to die now, I’m new to this site just wanna express myself.
Ive suffered from depression for a year and half now, i used to be on 100ml anti depressants but they did nothing for me just made me lifeless and made me think more. Which made me worse, I used to have to go and see a Psychologist but he wasn’t helping at all so i just stopped attending.  I have tried suicide before through Severely cutting my wrists a lot with a scalpel, which actually hurt alot. Ever since i thought that i couldn’t kill myself… Didn’t have the […]
Dear Chris,
Your a creepy mother fucker. I hope you fucking know I hate your guts. Just because i’m not like all other fucking girls does NOT mean i’m a lesbian. Go fuck yourself man. Grow a pair of balls and live the real fucking world. Your the waste of space, your the piece of shit. Not your amazing, funny, smart, fucking beautiful girlfriend, who could by the way do 150% better then your sorry ass. Go away. Im glad I stood up to you today. Im sick and tired of myself and everyone having to deal with you. You are sick in the head […]
Wrecked my brand new car and the only friend I had at work is leaving. Mom is still in the nursing home and she’s never getting out alive. It’s so hard to find a purpose when you never get good news. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is ‘I can’t believe I have to face another day’.
Mary Richardson was in the news again today – well actually it was her husband. Reading about her really makes me think of suicide as a way out. Problem is I don’t have the guts to kill myself in such a brutal way.
May 31, 2012
9:30 p.m
I feel nothing. I feel useless, dull, and dead. I want to die. I’ve thought of dying. I need help. I NEED HELP! I have so much work to do I feel like I’m drowning, I feel empty. I feel like I have no emotions, I feel lifeless, that my life has no meaning. Nobody understands, at least I don’t think so. They all say it will get better or to suck it up. I can’t suck it up; my body and mind are betraying me! I know intellectually that I need to do things but then my mind […]
It’s almost been a year now. A year since I pushed the only person out of my life who made life worth living. Since then I’ve become an alcoholic, abandoned my personal morals regarding premarital sex, am stuck in a relationship that I don’t know how to get out of, and have become even more depressed then I thought I could be.
Meanwhile my closest companion has gone off to better herself spiritually and with an education, and is apparently now in a relationship. Hopefully the person she is with now doesn’t hurt her as badly as I did.
I don’t know if I have […]
This is my favorite song, it’s Sarcasm by Get Scared. I just wanted to share. Look it up, maybe you’ll like it…
(i dont own this song, i think Nick Matthews does…)
You’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking
My heart is breaking but there’s no use crying
What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I’d cut myself or curl up and die
Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs
Don’t mind us we’re just spilling our guts
If this is love I don’t wanna be loved
You pollute […]
I’m scared.
I have no idea what to do. I think all this stress is getting to me. I want to go back and make everything better. I think I’m getting an eating disorder. I KNOW I’m not fat, but when I look at my self, I feel disgusted. I never feel like I’m good enough. I messed up, and I can’t fix it, no matter how bad I want too. I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I’m sick. Mentally and physicality. I can’t take it anymore.
I have these body pains that I know aren’t normal. I don’t like going to the […]
first off let me just say how happy i feel finding this website
(albeit a little random, just googled cold and alone)
Like im sure everyone else on this website my life story is a bit too long to include on my first post,
so i’ll try and keep it to the point.
I had a somewhat happy childhood. I did have sexual contact (mostly with other boys around my age at the time)
when i was still very young. Then the infamous 8th grade came along and everything changed.
I had to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, be cool etc in order […]
i am tired of being a coward i fantasize about suicide for past 3 months i planning to go tonight in a few hours and drive a designated place i know that is going to be painful but it will end i just want to see if i have the guts to do it i hope that ill be able to reincarnate and try to have a better life i hope that those ideas of hell are non true as i was writting this a family member opened the door of my room not aware of my intentions i might not end up doing it […]
Hey my names Jasiel and I’m 12 years old. This is going to take me a lot of guts because I haven’t told anyone about my problem…it all started when I was 9, I was a happy little girl just walking by her self like always, the day was pretty and perfect. Until…all of a sudden everything changed to black. I wasn’t scared because I was used to the dark. But then something got my intention, it was just laying there hopelessly without any movement. It looked familiar and so I walked towards it, I turn it around so I […]
It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve posted. I doubt anyone’s been active here long enough to remember my story so I’m just going to start from the beginning. But uh, I need some advice, sp.
So basically I’ve had a female best friend (I’m a guy) for a while now and we’re really close, we talk about everything, and she means the world to me, but I like like her. We had a very short fling about a year and a half ago but it hasn’t been until now that we really connected on a deeper level, and she has a lot […]
In my adolescent years, I never thought I would make it to 18. Feeling so alone, coming out of the closet at 12, no one to love, to be loved by, to share our love through sex…
I have way to make myself feel better, and they’re pretty foolproof. But as we all know, it gets hard every now and then… That’s when I can pull through the tough times and make it all feel better! But it’s that pulling through that’s the hard part. And what if I do pull through?? What, do all the happy work just to end up in my own hell […]