Hey my names Jasiel and I’m 12 years old. This is going to take me a lot of guts because I haven’t told anyone about my problem…it all started when I was 9, I was a happy little girl just walking by her self like always, the day was pretty and perfect. Until…all of a sudden everything changed to black. I wasn’t scared because I was used to the dark. But then something got my intention, it was just laying there hopelessly without any movement. It looked familiar and so I walked towards it, I turn it around so I could sees it’s face….and there it was ME. I was laying on the floor doing nothing just dead. I then ran to my house and saw who I was… I was still there it was me, but a different me. I wasn’t wearing pink and purple anymore… I was wearing all black. It was another me, but how? After that it all changed. I was that happy girl, I was the emo/goth chick. At school everyone looked at me like if I was a freak or some other creature. It was horrible it was a nightmare to me. I had never felt like that in my life and why was I feeling it now? So… I started cutting. I’ve cut until I was weak. And that never changed. Then 5th grade started. You can say it went worse. I would cut more because of depression, my dad the alcoholic one had always pushed me. He wants me to be the best at everything and he would tell me that I was ugly, lonely, and stupid he never knew what was happening to me. And so he just wanted everything perfect. I cut And cut. Now I have scares EVERYWHERE from legs to arms :(. And I’m not proud of it. Right now in this moment this year I have felt more depression on me. I have all of theses: health problems, depression, selfharming, eating deserter, and I have also tried to commit suicide 6 times. By taking pills at once, by cutting to much and loosing to much blood. And one of my best friends (guy) asked me to be his girlfriend not to long ago. But…. He left me. Now I’m all alone like I have always been. And yes I though he was the perfect guy, but he wasn’t. So I really don’t know what to do please help I really need help. Because I’m tired of living please help if you care or if you have something similar to my story <3
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hi Jasiel. im Danielle. i think you are very brave for sharing your story here. i care about you even though i dont know you. i want you to be able to talk to me if you want. you can e-mail me at danielle16yeah at gmail. com. i am sorry for everything you have gone through. no parent should ever make their child feel the way your father has made you feel. i hope you dont give up on life. you are still young so dont worry mr. right is out there somewhere. take care.
Jasiel, take care.
I know it may sound kinda cheesy, but, you are a wonderful person. By sheer statistical miracle you were brought into this world. Your life is something of great importance and value. You may not see it now, and trust me I know its hard to see it, but its there.
For those who have a great destiny must overcome great obstacles.
You will become who you are but you must allow yourself to live. Live without the pressure. But this too will come in time.
Think about all you wish to accomplish in your life. Not by how your father wants, or anybody else. What you want. Do you want to live your life in an amazing career? Then shoot for it! Do you wish to become a kind and loving mother? Then live for them.
All this is hard at 12. And its harder to truly get over it. Find someone who you can share your problems with, a councler, friend etc. Trust me this will help you more than anything else.
Thank u all for your support <3 I really apreciate it. I have been thinking about talkig to someone about my problem. But I don't know how to start it. I have always think that if I let people know what's happening to me I feel like I won't be able to get a good jod nor they will accept me because of my childhood story. And I'm also worried that they might think I'm crazy or so….but thank you anyway for your help and @Danielle1993 I appreciate your help and will be think about talking to you 🙂 thank you
oh you are welcome! Yup I am here if you ever need me. I know you are not crazy. I dont think you will have a hard time with getting a job. You can do it. Take care!<3
Hey Danielle I now have one and you can e-mail me at Jasiel Philips At gmail.com 😀 or whatever because I’m new to it so just find me by my name ‘Jasiel Philips’