Tag:

Habit

by mranony 5/11/2016

written by mranony

I have this habit whenever I’m down of the cycle, I tend to purposely piss off people around me. I want them to hate me because apparently my hate for myself is not enough to pull the trigger. I want them to hate me so they would feel less bad about my death.

But then again, someone special told me that making them hate me doesn’t change the fact that they care for me.

But then again, my stupid excuse is habit. Or maybe I’m just accumulating this giant ball of hate to swallow.

I want to break up with my lover for this stupid reason. But I […]

5/11/2016 1 comment

Habit, Relief

by effystonem 2/2/2015

written by effystonem

I have this terrible habit. I’ve never actually gotten the courage to take a knife and slash my skin so that is not it. Instead I bite at my fingers until they bleed. My fingers ache right now because I’m typing. They really hurt after I wash my hands or am in the shower because they prune up and are useless to use. Since the layers vary depending on where I bite, the flesh underneath my first layers is exposed. This exposure makes them more sensitive so I can barely touch anything. My parents think I have a common nail biting habit but I rarely […]

2/2/2015 7 comments

Alive Out of Habit

by breaking_the_cycle 3/28/2014

written by breaking_the_cycle

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Alive-Out-Of-Habit.mp3

Why should it be taboo to kill ourselves? Just because other people don’t want it doesn’t make it abnormal. I don’t understand why people want to continue living with all the shit they have to deal with. Wake up, go to school/work/, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I’ve had relationships, but to me they’re more trouble than they’re worth. I don’t want to have kids. I care about my family, but that’s a tiny portion of life. It’s not enough to keep me going because I still have to be me every day and it’s exhausting. The rest is work, eat, sleep, fuck, etc. That’s […]

3/28/2014 23 comments

My Name Was Brett

by H 9/9/2013

written by H

Â
Preface:Â I’m not actually going through with this.Â I asked God for a sign as I walked with tears in my eyes tonight, he gave me one. At 8:00 pm, I received a internet message from a beautiful soul I hadn’t thought of or had any communication with in years. You know who you are and you did, infact, save my life tonight. Thank you beyond measure.

I was just writing this when I got that message and I think it’s really important that I continue to write this. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. There are no reasons to sit on these words. Words only matter […]

9/9/2013 4 comments

”I’ve had enough” – Yeah. That old saying.

by whatsafter56 8/27/2013

written by whatsafter56

for the millionth time, I just said ”I’ve had enough”

I typed in that phrase into google and saw web pages about depression.
I don’t want to read articles about depression and how you should go to your doctor and how you need to get ‘better’… because, I don’t think I have depression. I don’t want a label for being sad for a reason. I know it may sound strange… I’m just sick of life, I don’t like it… I wasn’t made to like it, from the beginning.

The […]

8/27/2013 2 comments

Feel Dead Inside

by Slicker 8/26/2013

written by Slicker

Ok, I’ve never expressed myself like this before but I have nobody else to turn to. I am a 35 year old man whose partner left 5 weeks ago. I had a 19 year habit with cannabis, something I have given up since my partner left because it caused me to rage in uncontrollable ways. So would never physically harm her but the mental torture I must have put her through was intense. I don’t even know why. Now after 5 weeks off it I haven’t had one money of madness and feel good about that but there is one problem. She won’t speak to […]

8/26/2013 2 comments

Points to ponder

by Dawg 8/23/2013

written by Dawg

I found this list posted as “What happy people do” … blah blah. I will link to the article below – but although i disagree with the general premise that suggests that if you follow these points you will suddenly “be happy” (Yeah, i scoffed with a sarcastic chucklesnort too) … but they ARE valid point that when most are adopted and incorporated into our every day life and decision making, they CAN make life less abrasive and irritable. A lot of these involve making conscious choices that can evolve into unconscious and automatic responses to situations that would normally inflame an already difficult day […]

8/23/2013 8 comments

ehh..

by Selbstmord 7/22/2013

written by Selbstmord

Im not sure what to write, should there be something to write, or is it that I’m looking for something worthy to be written. I forget that im depressed when i talk to people or when i write, maybe its habit that i hide what i feel and smack a smile onto my face. I havent done anything all summer and i feel alone, my only friends are dull razors and this freak anxiety. I cant sleep. I’m starting to feel numb again. Maybe it’s better that i feel numb, if i decide to feel anything else ill just panic. Well… im done trying to […]

7/22/2013 1 comment

by TheBlackArm 7/17/2013

written by TheBlackArm

I’ve been fighting off my own severe depression for 29 years, rather successfully, with an attitude that depression isn’t real, and thoughts about ending my life are just me being weak and unable to handle problems. But this tactic worked better when I was younger with opportunity ahead of me and the “my future will be bright” keeping me going; now that I’m 29, over educated and underemployed, fighting off depression with sheer will is becoming harder and harder, and the suicidal plans come easier and are more realistic and acceptable in my mind.
It’s less than day to day now; it’s hour to […]

7/17/2013 1 comment

Hello seem’s to be the same as goodbye

by Tormenting Dreams 7/3/2013

written by Tormenting Dreams

Well now it has been a very long time since i have posted or even visited. i just want to say im fairly certain this will go un-noticed. which is okay, i know that getting views after 1am is very rare (eastern-standard time).

But i just want to say im moving along. i have a job i start soon, i have 2 fairly decent blogs i run. i have friends (not really) i just like to assume there friends. really all i have is idiots i talk to regularly (granted its over the internet.) so yeah im still fairly the same loser i was 10 months […]

7/3/2013 4 comments

The end…

by JustKeepDreaming 6/15/2013

written by JustKeepDreaming

By this time, like I said previously, my life literally felt as if it was crumbling to pieces.
Ever since that one night, my mother’s “friend” had made a habit of having some sort of sexual activity or sex in itself every night, my mother being “oblivious”.
That summer though, my father decided to move back to my end of the country with his fiancÃ© and her son. I was not that thrilled about it.
For two years, nothing really changed. We had a routine developed and everything was once again as stable as it could be. We moved a few times but that’s it. […]

6/15/2013 2 comments

masturbation ruined my life

by boy. .in..shame 6/14/2013

written by boy. .in..shame

Today i am accepting the fact masturbation ruined my life and i am tired of masturbating everyday is there anyone in the whole world who masturbate a lot i am very tired of doing it and i do not know how to stop this habit but i am just in shame today too much because i am very much tired of doing it and i do not want to do that anymore it is not stress reliever for me it is eating my life my body ruined because of masturbation i look very thin and i always use to be tired because of this habit […]

6/14/2013 8 comments

I’m tired

by progmessiah8 5/8/2013

written by progmessiah8

Hi again friends,

Happy Easter. Glad to be out of school for a bit, but I’m sad tonight. I was told that my ongoing habit of playing with my hair was apparently such a nuisance that it was possible that I could be grounded from going to concerts, one of my favorite things to do. Look, habits are really hard to break, from hair playing, to nail biting. I think many of us have had to deal with them. It can take time to get over them, but I don’t think it’s fair to go as far as grounding me for not having done so already.

5/8/2013 3 comments

I’m just tired..

by tim3466 4/18/2013

written by tim3466

This is the first time i write about my suicidal thoughts on the internet..I have no financial problems, so financially speaking i have a life that many would want. I’m also still young, many people tell me that i have my whole life ahead of me and that i shouldnt be pessimistic..but i have never had the life i really want. I didnt have many friends untill recently, and that was only because we share a habit which is drinking and smoking pot..i have thought about taking my life for many years now, i was even seriously planning on doing it one time but i […]

4/18/2013 1 comment

Cutting and Suicide.

by GSAJC 3/28/2013

written by GSAJC

I have been cutting since my 7th grade year. I don’t really know why I started Â or what caused me to feel cutting was a good way out. All I know is that I used cutting as an escape for my pain which then turned to an addicting habit. A girl I knew, Raiyanne used to put small razor blades in her compact mirror and cut whenever she needed a release at school. I don’t know why I decided to cut but that became my way of doing it. My wrists are scarred up so bad from cutting that I’m not even sure how I […]

3/28/2013 2 comments

block any disturbing, unhelpful thoughts

by idunno 3/6/2013

written by idunno

I need reassurance. I think way to much. i need to be productive. Block out any damaging thoight that is uncomfortable. I have to stop analysing stop second guessing myaelf.
Any dosturbing thought -BLOCKED.
As i conciously start identofying bad thoughts i realiZe theyre EVERYWHERE and i LET them dictate how i feel.

Any suggestions how i can block these uncomfortable thoughts??

For example i often analyze what ive said to someone or how i answered them and i asked myself “how did that sound to them? And all these uncomdortable questions about what ive done and if i did it “right” i […]

3/6/2013 0 comment

Why?

by JustTooTired 2/12/2013

written by JustTooTired

I have nothing left, and I’m too damned old to start over.Â Getting to this point was painful enough, and I’m not going to put myself through it again.Â My username says it all.Â Continuing is exhausting and often painful, and I just don’t have the strength any more.Â I’ve lost all credibility at work, and with some reason.Â My skills have deteriorated and my memory is so bad that my knowledge is usually inaccessible.Â At home my wife has stopped all sexual activity, disapproves of nearly everything I do, and it certainly seems to me that I am only an income and an unreliable […]

2/12/2013 4 comments

To the cops who cruise this place

by Hofnii 2/3/2013

written by Hofnii

One of you contacted me by email yesterday.Â Kiss off.

AND FOR THE SINCERE AMONG US,some council.

When I took Accounting 101, I asked the instructor about cooking the books.Â His reply was, if he told me how it was done, he’d be instructing me in the commission of a crime, which is a crime itself.Â It wouldn’t matter if I ever committed the crime either.Â So, he couldn’t tell me about those things.

The study of cooking the books is called forensic accounting, it’s high lever class’s, and they certainly do teach students all about it.Â The legalese is you are learning how to recognize it.

Cops only […]

2/3/2013 4 comments

by hopefuldreamer 2/3/2013

written by hopefuldreamer

I feel like I live in the past too much it’s like I’m never present. With the way things are now I can’t imagine them ever getting better I admit that I have a horrible habit of making high expectations thinking as a way of feeling better at the moment an odd way of coping I know. I think that I’ve become so used to being depressed that I’ve formed a personality around it Â even worse is that I’m afraid of coming out of my depression I have no idea why but I am, yet seeing other people doing well makes me sad and makes […]

2/3/2013 3 comments

another reason why.

by b1urr 1/18/2013

written by b1urr

since 3rd grade i’ve struggled with trichotillomania. for those who do not know, trichotillomania, often linked to anxiety disorders, is a hair pulling disorder. many people think it is just a habit -like my mother- but it is not. my father believes this issue of mine can be fixed by using punishment, he’s fed this idea to my mum and she’s tried it. of course it didn’t work. my doctor suggested prozac -my mums against any anti depressants- i want it so badly. i want it so that i can have my hair grow back nice and thick, i want it because a side effect […]

1/18/2013 4 comments

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