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Tag:
Happiness
I DON’T WANT TO LET YOU WIN! I REALLY DON’T! .. but its the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face and it hurts so so bad. I want to fight but only for so long. I want to be better, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Why can’t it just stop. If there are miracles then why can’t I be blessed with one. I fucking deserve it. Why can’t I just go to the store and end up with my soul mate. Why am I so alone? I don’t know if I’m strong enough anymore. There is still something there though, this little tiny […]
I am a twenty-one year-old who most recently spent 9 months putting together my suicide after many failed attempts since the age of twelve. I attended the Menninger Clinic and my life has changed drastically. At the end of the months it will have been six months without making serious suicide plans. After my release from the hospital I began a blog. For myself, but for others too. It shares my story, because I realized that I was not alone. By sharing my story, and sharing that I made it through the darkness, you might see some similarities and come to discover that you can […]
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
may. thats when i die. thats it. it works out for everyone. i dont ruin my boyfriend’s birthday in december. i have my birthday in january. i go on vacation with my family in february so they dont waste the money they’ve spent on it. i dont ruin my best friend’s birthday in april. i see the 14th anniversary of columbine. i dont have to make my confirmation, which my family begs me to do even though i dont believe in it. my boyfriend and i will most likely break up by then. i dont finish this school year, and never move up to my […]
I just can’t take my family anymore… I am tired of being treated like shit and everything else. It feels like I don’t belong anymore. Most people don’t understand what I am going through and say that I’m complaining. If you lived my life, you would sound like me, too. My sister is 14 and beats on me whenever I don’t do what she says when I am the older sister and says shit to me that she knows will hurt me. I may be older, but I have really bad depression, so I really can’t help it. I wish that I could. And then […]
Im actually kinda happy right now which is really really wierd for me haha. Im happy cause im in an amazing relationship with this amazing guy 🙂 hi lifeishorrible <3 haha but at the same time im worried about my great-grandma whose 100 yrs old, ses in the hospital and it doesnt look like shes gonna make it….i guess you cant have happiness without an equal amount of sadness
Maybe, Just maybe, there is balance. We (meaning those who are reading this and the other posts on this site) are the counterbalance to something else. Perhaps everyone has a “role” to fill in this world. Perhaps we are the depression and sadness to other peoples happiness and joy? While I would never wish what I feel on anyone else, why wasn’t it me that got that the “happy” side of that balance?
Please? Someone tell me when I fucked up. I’m 15 going on 16 in about 6 months. I used to be happy all the time, and I felt invincible, incredible, like I couldn’t be brought down. Then recently I lose the two most important people in my life, my grandma and great grandma. They both were pretty old, yes. But I feel so bad I didn’t tell them how much I loved them more. Everything just started falling apart now. I didn’t want it to end like this…
Ever since then, everything’s been slowly moving down. I worked hard to keep myself up and hope to […]
I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]
it’s time to be with my daugther, dying is the best way out. what do you think?
written by amelia follicauo
So today i went to the doctor, he put me on antidepressants but i think he was very dumb. as i live alone ATM and i miss her so so much, i think I’m going to take all of them and mix it with alcohol. Emma will be so alone and scared o i have to go help her and look after her. it hasn’t been long since she committed suicide but this life is too hard and she deserves to have her mum with her. my kids have gone to live with their dad and they don’t want to stay with me so i […]
I did this because a friend inspired me. He was promoting doitinadress.com and I got this idea, and here’s the result of that. This is my hobby, paintball, and video editing, filming, this is what keeps me happy with life. Find your own happiness through life. Have love for all, because all has essence of spirit, and will give you love back if you try to percieve it
Today is my best freinds birthday.
I couldn’t leave her alone on her birthday.
I have been thinking of suicide for So long, i was finally got the courage to do it.
But i thought, if i left my best friend, a day before her birthday.. she would kill herself to.
She is amazing.
I have just been going through such a hard time right now, and i honestly can’t live this lie anymore.
I’m so fucking scared to be happy. I’m scared of faking a smile. I’m scared to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to be alone.
I cut all the time. […]
I’m ready to go but I’m afraid of what’s on the otherside. A soul set free? Or a soul still held captive? Not afraid of doing the deed, afraid of not completing it. Erasing the past, present, and future. Redo the equation and count me out. This emptiness has completed it’s mission. Time for me to go. The ground I’ve stepped on too many times is calling my name and it sounds so sweet. Going without a fight, and a smile on my face. Happiness. The lost ingredient of my life.. Found. One last memory written on paper. A whisper goodbye and her soul […]
this is the end for me. goodbye everyone. i hope you all find your happiness. im not cared for so i give up, i came here to find help and a reason to live but all ive been told is im a liar and pathetic, i cant take this bullshit anymore.
goodbye, i love you all and dont forget you are beautiful!
goodbye life </3
Im not going to do my usually ten thousand words of deep shit. I just want to spill the facts. I’m a girl, I lost my first love, I can’t stop thinking about him, I have next to no friends, my parents hate me and say I’m a disappointment, I tried suicide and I do self harm.
I just want to enjoy life again.
I know the first step is getting over my ex. Im working on that, I’d love to cut him out of my life but I am forced to see him everyday so it will take a lot longer than most people. How the […]
I’ve been suicidal for two years, but during those two years I had reasons to keep going. Yeah, those reasons were few and far between, but they were there. I have virtually no reason to live anymore. I can’t drag people down. My friends – they don’t know about this. They didn’t much know about my self-harm (well, not purposely. If it was my choice they wouldn’t know at all), and they don’t know much about my ED. I find all of this, all of what I’m going though, humiliating. I’m not this person. I never was. I used to be so happy, and I […]
I was just sitting comfortably in bed watching TV and in a strangely good mood and then suddenly it all went black inside my head and all I can think now is that I want to stab myself multiple times. It’s sort of scary, really, the way I go from balanced and happy to furious and violent in seconds. I thought this sadness was going away, but it turns out it hasn’t, I’ve simply been distracted by school and a supposed social life but I’ve spent the last week at home pretty much alone. I don’t want my happiness to depend on other people or […]
I, like many other people, am a “lucky” person.
I have a great family, everything I could want and more, many friends who are supportive of me, and a good life in general.
Yet, all the while, I feel this emptiness inside me where emotions should be. Whenever I feel “happy”, it’s more close to feeling something close to happiness, almost like its shadow. If emotions were people, they would come knocking on the door of my heart, then before I can open the door and let it in, it leaves, making me feel something ALMOST like emotions.
Am I becoming heartless? Unable to feel any […]
I don’t think I can do this anymore. I thought this would be a fresh start but the same things hit me over and over again. I’m on medication but it doesn’t seem to help and I’m broke, so broke I can’t afford to continue. I can’t focus or concentrate on what needs to get done. Right now, that’s my assignments. My lecturers have extended deadlines but I still can’t go through the hurdles.
My friends are frustrated with me. They just want me to get the work over and done with. But I can’t. I don’t understand the things I read anymore and soon I […]