Last night, I had a bittersweet dream…….. I wasn’t depressed and I was with my friends and family and we were having a good time. I cant remember all the details just little bits and pieces. I remember me and my old best friend were  at the beach with two girls laughing, having fun, happy, smiling, and enjoying the time. when I awoke this morning and realized I was still here and that I had been dreaming it felt like I had been punched in the heart. To come back to reality and realize none of those things happened is devastating. I wish I could […]
Tag:
Having A Good Time
My friend Tennyson.. Actually, I like him. And he knows that. But he doesn’t like me. I know he doesn’t. He said so. Anyway, on the bus earlier, he pulled out a pocket knife and cut himself. I could literally feel my heart ripping itself apart because there was absolutely nothing I could do. I told him to get on facebook, but I doubt that he will. The worst part is that I heard his friend say, “Well, why do you want to kill yourself?!”. I don’t want him to die. God, he’s been going to therapy.. I don’t know what to do. I love […]
“Where you gonna be tomorrow? How’re you gonna face the sorrow? Where are you gonna be when you die?” -Tomorrow, Nikki Sixx
I was letting music play while I cut and this song came on. I know the song by heart, as well as the other songs on the album. Nikki Sixx is my hero. He’s helped me see that I’m beautiful, scars and all. I feel strong, even though I’ve been cutting. I fell to the ground and slammed my head on the floor. There’s a huge bump and bruise, but that’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have been standing and cutting at the same […]
Saturday night I went to the homecoming dance I decided to go because I thought that it’d be nice to go out since I’d spent the whole day doing nothing but sleeping, once I got there I felt out of place because I showed up alone and just greeted people  I started dancing by myself trying to make it a good night and there was times where I caught myself feeling sad and sat down because I just didn’t feel like being up there  and had no interest but I did dance most of the time and even requested a few songs so I can […]
i feel so stuck in this life, school, work, homework, boredom. my “friends” never have time to hang out so the only interaction i get is with my boyfriend and fake friends who only use me for my cigarettes or money. i yearn for an adventurous life but it just seems impossible. i have no major in college because none of them interest me and i can no longer imagine a future for myself. i have terrible social skills so making new friends is next to out of the question.. i see other people laughing and having a good time and my envy enrages me, […]
It feels like I’m always alone  now that college has started. My friend is telling me all of his experiences and how he’s having a good time at his university. My friend has always gotten things his way from girls grades etc. I feel like I can never get things easily  I get nervous around girls and people. Why is my life so different from his? Why am I like this
I have a friend, my best friend.. Â we have been friends since kinder garden, we were always there for each other.. no matter what.. and that is great and all, but i feel like i don’t deserve that friend. Because a couple og months ago i was at a party having a good time and all, then this really hot girl walks up to me and we start talking, everything is fine we start making out we walk to a bed room start undressing, and right before we are gonna do it my fried enters the room.. and he sees me with the girl and […]
I could understand that my friend had loyalty to her mother, but not once did she ever really seem to regard my feelings. This added to the stress I had with her. Another time that created a rift in our relationship was when I went to the local fair with her, my friends mother, and her father. Originally we were supposed to go together at a certain time, but I would call her house and she wouldn’t tell me if she was coming with me or not, so I decided to go with another friend.
We were having a good time the first half of the […]
Every day is the same. I wake up , ready to fall back to sleep. Back to the darkness of my mind thatswallows me whole, place of peace in a world of hate. No motivation left… Sleep through every class, can’t focus , cant process… Feeling stupid; can’t think. It’s only getting harder, everythings getting worse. Things get to me more everyday. I’m close to my breaking point. Sometimes I wonder what the easiest was is to go.. Would popping a pill bottle worth of tylenol do anything? I feel like im going to go no where in life as it is…
If anything could explain […]
Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.
But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]
My name is Jessica. I am 13 years old and I’m a very sad person. I’ve hurt loved ones, been hurt, and been abandon by the only people I’ve trusted.
When I was 6, my parents split up. It was a very hard time for my brother and I. He was only 8. I don’t really remember much, just one day I came home from school and my father told me that if he and my mom got into one more fight, he was leaving us. The following day, he kept his word. They worked out custody and all that, and I lived with my mom […]
You know you’d think your problems would end when you grow up, more time goes by everyday and i realize i had it so much more easier when i was sixteen then i do now.
everything started when i was fourteen i lost my grandmother and my dad in one year. my grandmother was just the start of my fathers depression. On my fathers side most of my family are bipolar and have anxiety. So with it i have also developed these unwanted traits. after my father passed my whole world dropped. I started contemplating suicide at sixteen and i was always a failure at it. […]
My mother left my father when I was 2 years old. He was an alcoholic and used to be a little violent against my mother.
I’m turning 24 this year.
My father has changed. He doesn’t have a problem with the alcohol now, he drinks, but not every day. He is well now.
He always send me gifts. Birthdays and christmas. This christmas he called me. He’s done it before. We talk, and I love it. Everytime he calls, after we hung up I cry for hours. I so badly want to have a relationship with him, but I’m a coward. I live in another town, so […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
I’m 23, gay male and miserable a good deal of the time. I feel like I have no right to be so unhappy when I have so much going for me, but rather than feel guilty, I feel like, it’s not fare. Why would someone, God, Fate, Karma, whatever, give me so much to enjoy and so little capacity to enjoy it. I walked home alone tonight from a big drag show where everyone was having a good time. On the way out the door, I cheerily said goodbye to five friends, two of my therapists and the boy I’m in love with, who only […]