I just wanted to know some things that keep everyone going or make you feel better when you’re down and things of that nature?
Mine is my two horses who I love very much and my 7 year old nephew. When I’m down I also think of once when my nephew was asking me and my sister (his mom) if he would die one day and so we told him yes, but he had a very long time before he would ever have to worry about that and then he asked me if I would die one and I told him yes and he started crying […]
If only nature came with a Reset Button or a built in Self Destruct button (we already are self destructing, it just slow going before it “ends”) or both.
I am contemplating that as I climb down into my chilly bed, adorned with fuzzy house socks and my wooley jumper. (it’s brisk here) Wouldn’t it be lovely? (at the aforementioned)
Light will be breaking over the sea here any moment, I am finally off to bed to get a couple of hours shut eye before rising yet again, to a gloomy gray world, filled with morning tea, morning telly (god helps us) and sitting here pondering yet […]
I know a girl
She draws on
her skin
with blades instead
of pens
It all began when
she was eight.
She wondered why?
Why would he look at her like that?
Why would she let him?
She often thought:
“She loves me”
But deep down
She knew
It was
A lie
She’s never loved her
And never will
The only one that
Truly loves her
Is Mr. Sharp.
He makes her happy.
He helps her forget about THEM.
When her skin
Rips open
And her demons
Come out…
Oh there’s no better
Feeling than that.
But the feeling goes away!
“NO! come back!” she yells.
But not even
Pain wants her.
And that hurts like hell.
People always believe
The “I’ll kill you” stare
And the “go away “routine.
Because nobody
really cares to
see what’s
left inside
To look into her eyes
And see her […]
I’m deciding whether to kill myself. I have struggled with depression for a long time. I have seen many therapists, and nothing helps. I couldn’t even get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I had to call for months and I finally got an appointment in another week. I don’t know if I will still be around then.
I talked to the mental health department and told them I was considering killing myself. They said good luck.
The thing is there is nothing really wrong with my life. I don’t have any real hardships besides depression, anxiety, and being fat. My meaning is I don’t have a reason […]
I made friends with this amazing guy 2 years ago, I can’t even understand how or why?! I am such a crappy person sometimes and he accepts me. When I say he accepts me I mean in every single way you can think of. He has seen me with no make up hair a mess, clothes a mess. He has put up with me even when I lash out at him because I’m angry. He’s seen all sides of me and still stays in my life, I’ve called him crying and he listens to me and gives me advice. Granted we had a set back […]
I’m not mean, but I’m truthful.
I’m not crazy, I’m just unconventional.
I’m not alive, although I’m not dead.
I’m not depressed, however I am in pain.
I’m in pain because I’m conflicted. Why? Because I love dragging the sharp blade across my skin. The way it stings, the way my blood drips, the way it makes me feel.
Every once and a while, my cravings increase to a point of concern. It’s not longer just hurting myself by the pocket knife I keep by my bedside, it’s wondering what it would feel like to crash my car into a tree. What it would feel like to fall off of […]
Monday is when I go back to college but I’ve been falling slowly now. My grip on life is getting weaker by the day. Yet, I realized I’m beyond saving, be it by my own strength or another person’s. At the beginning of this forked path, I’ll post every uplifting/encouraging Japanese song I know for a week or so. The first one is Only Human by K, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppINLeLEnFo. Here’s hoping it helps you more than it did me.
Progress is hard to really acknowledge, because its hard to measure. Some days i still want to give up, but I’m coping with it better and actually beginning to deal with things in a healthy way.
There have been many things in my life at the moment which I’ve been tempted to quit and stop, I’ve felt like i don’t have the energy or motivation. I forced myself to continue my ‘hobbies’ and every time I’m glad i didn’t stop because it helps and makes me happy.
The night is the hardest, everything runs through my head and i struggle, i can’t sleep and when i do […]
Sorry im not jonny cash but yeah i hurt myself. I couldnt get out of my head and couldnt stop crying. Its the only thing that helps other then taking something, and there arent any of those around so. Next best thing right. Is it bad that im saying this. Im sorry i didnt mean to cause any trouble its just talking helps after too, but im alone at the moment. I think its because part of me feels bad because this is the only thing that is keeping me “ok” untill i start feeling bad again. At the sametime im kind of […]
Yes. Today will go down as one of the shittiest days I’ve ever had to go through. Never has my depression been so crippling. I feel physically ill. Like I want to throw up. I have one hell of a headache. I can barely get out of bed. My muscles are weak. I am shaking.
Maybe it’s partly because I haven’t been sleeping lately. But, I’m terrified of sleeping. I’m tired of the nightmares.
I am so passively suicidal today, it’s a good thing I have no strength to do anything… But type, I guess. Letting it out this way helps.
I just cut. After a month or […]
I too was rejected and friendzoned for most my life.. I know those feelings and im a stick no muscle. I think im confident. Maybe im not.. But internet sites makes meeting and dating easier. Even for ppl like you and I. I believe in the words “just keep trying”. I always been told someone will come along.. Or you’ll meet someone blah blah. It totally affect my thoughts and feelings towards how i looked at myself and how i thought others viewed me.. Im in my 30’s single, living with parents and unemployed. Im only going to hope that you keep trying even when […]
I hate it. I hate it so much. Being with my friends (when I’m treated fairly) helps me so much. I just want to be with them all forever. It’s comforting and it distracts me. When I’m at home I’m alone, they don’t text me and I look at my phone and beg for them to. The only time my friends really reply is when I’m with them and my depression keeps me from most of that happiness..
So…hey there. My name is Jayden…I’ve been on here a couple times, gotten help from some amazing people. Then I thought my depression and anxiety were gone so I selfishly felt I didn’t need to come on this site anymore. I’m sorry. That was selfish and rude and despicable in my opinion. But before I go on a 5 page rant on how much I hate myself, let me catch anyone who listened when I was originally here up to speed.
The girl who made my depression seem nonexistent dumped me.
I have effectively pushed all but 3 of my friends away
The last friend who helps me […]
So ehm, this is my first time here but I thought it’d be a good idea using this instead of bottling it all up to myself like I have done for years. Growing up wasn’t the easiest, well I’m still growing up but when I was quite a bit younger, my mum met this guy, who wasn’t the best for her, my brother or I, we all thought he was so lovely at first, but then things started to get bad, he became abusive every once in a while but then I turned into everyday. He would never hit me or my brother but it […]
It’s been for some years now. That feeling of loneliness and sorrow.
Since my only best friend I’ve ever had abandoned me, I didn’t find any real friends anymore. I don’t know why, but it seems that I’m just so very different from anyone else in my class and my surrounding. People think I’m strange. They avoid me. If we need to do group work in class everyone will sit happily together with their friends and I, well, I’m just standing there trying desperately to find someone to team up with me but no one hears me.
No one is on my side and helps […]
ALL i want to do is eat and die….right now. i want to eat and eat and i try to squash down the feelings and it never helps and i am just plain TIRED of it all. i am useless. 🙁
Im tired of people saying everything is gonna be okay.. It’s not its really not. I’m tired so tired.. My dad won’t help me and my sister out. We’re gonna…. We’ve lost the apartment annd were gonna be put on the street.. And its like he doesn’t care. He helps sometime but this is a dire problem.. And everytime we bring up the topic he just ignores us. He pays my step moms rent and lights but he can’t even spare 350 for a deposit.. I’m tired I’m going to shove this. Knife so far up my wrist vain. They won’t be able to save […]
If I wrote a book about the various house-hold chemicals you can use to kill yourself, I’d be a best selling author. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve researched this method. But I stopped those plans and I am now taking medicine and going for counselling. My therapist shows me techniques on how to deal with pressure and it really helps. A little bit of positivity is starting to creep back in and the dark cloak on my mind is slowly being unfurled. But I gotta admit, I do have some dark days but I always find ways of controlling my thoughts. Something that […]
To start, I’d like to state I do not believe in the existence of Heaven & Hell. I feel it is too simple, -even too human or physical (if that makes sense). When it comes to theories, I tend to pay attention to those who experience or have experienced Near-Death Experiences (or NDEs). Experiencing the sensation of leaving one’s body, experiencing a feeling of being loved or cared for/not alone. But most of all, that everyone’s experience is different & unique to the individual soul.
With that said, I have been thinking about suicide (on and off) for a couple of months due to prolonged severe […]
I am an insult to depression. I am a living effrontery to depressed people.
I make a LOT of money doing a fairly easy job.
I live in a beautiful house that has been in commercials and magazines.
I bought a new car last week because I was bored with my bmw.
I am constantly surrounded by family and friends who tell me how great I am, and can’t tell you how many people I’ve had fall in love with me.
My best friend lets me dogsit his amazing black lab who is the embodiment of love whenever I want because he knows it helps me.
Despite all this, I am […]
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