On to the point … when i was barely 3 years old , my parents went to work abroad since we didn’t have enough money to pay out the credits they had taken to build our new “Home” … the credits were more than 6 digits in € … I was still young and i had become a witness of so many family argues that its not even funny , i have seen my father hit my mother to *BLOOD*, believe me it was quite traumatising for a 3-5 year old kid to witness this … so on , when i was about 7 […]
Tag:
Hopeless
This time i feel like really going to commit suicide.Very soon maybe even tonight.I will not talk about what happened but can i get some positive support?
Hello, my name is Kills and here’s my brief story. I’m currently 24 and have had severe Crohn’s disease for 11 years. Not only that I have a chemical burn on my genitals. I’m in pain many times throughout the day and am not really able to have a sexual relationship. I take medication for Crohn’s but still have a lot of flare ups. As for the chemical burn I have seen many doctors but haven’t received any beneficial medication or alternative remedies. This has extremely effected my quality of life and am very very serious about ending my life. Thanks for reading and have a good night.
Kills.
I have never really had any friends my whole life. Ive dealt with depression and ocd for 4 years, suicide idealization, i just graduated high school last year and now in college. Still no friends, i ruin my everyones life. My 21 year old sister does not love/care for me. My mom.. Most of all i have hurt her and stressed her out all my life. My dads gone and i wish i could have died with w/ him. I mess up everything i do. I am selfish, weak, and a person that should have not been born. Im 18 years old – a female […]
I have somethings to say before I go.
my life is not a sad story, no big loss(except my drug addict father, no big harm), no love story, no being poor, no child working, no lack of attention, no lack of caring people around me, no lack of friends, etc…
and I don’t exactly know why I’m heading this road since I remember.
I’ve lost my believe in Allah (muslims’ god) and then any form of god by the beginning of highschool, my father left me and my mom a year after, spending his Shit money on the drugs; we were waste of money and […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
I did not want to get to this point. I have tried many things to avoid getting to this place. I had a rough childhood, my family is messed up(I do not feel like getting into detail). Despite my best efforts, my life is not working out. I cannot tell people who are close to me about how deeply troubled I am, I do not want to burden or freak them out. I used to believe in God and new beginnings and that if a person truly did their best things would work out. I am not sure about all that now. I tried reaching […]
Ever since I was born, I have always been a shy person. I would try to ignore my own feelings to help others. In fact, I was forced to at such a young age since my friends were all a few months younger than me. Therefore, since I was the eldest, I was the one who got reprimanded and to my young mind, did everything wrong. This idea was reinforced by my mother shouting at both me and my dad a lot. My dad and her yelled at each other every night. They tried to hide it from me, but I was a poor sleeper. […]
Worthless
Hopeless
Numb
Hollow
Empty
Disgusting
Freak
Disappointment
Mistake
Filthy
Dirty
Ugly
Stupid
Fuck up
Will not amount to anything..
The list goes on and on
Well today my girlfriend left me. I have issues with crippling depression quite often, and even though I have been medicated several times, nothing works. I have been thinking about this for a long time now and I’m not sure if I should do it or not. When I think about suicide I am contempt, I just have accepted it as how I want to go. I think of it as something that is just going to happen to me, as an inevitability. Anyway My girlfriend doesn’t love me anymore, even though I have done everything in the world for her, and with her. I […]
I wouldn’t ever kill myself although the thought crosses my mind often and brings me the best peace. I’ll go to sleep and pretend like its forever. No more bills to worry about, no more worrying about why the guy didn’t like me or why im never good enough, no stressing about my use to be friends who dont seem to want me around for some reason or always wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Im blessed. I really am. I have a beautiful daughter, a great job, a roof over my head, a car that runs, and a good family. I just feel […]
He’s the only guy to never do me wrong, I should have never left him. If I never left him in the first place, I wouldn’t be cursed with this issue. There’s no hope in love for me anymore, I’m gonna die alone, just like I came.
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
That hell that’s been my head these past 26 years has gotten the best of me.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago and even though i thought learning about it would help me, i’m still the
same fucking mess, still failing at everything and the worst is i have learned i can’t do SHIT about it.
And I am tired of this.
I’ve had enough of the stuggle
I’ve had enough of feeling stupid and ridiculed by people i call my friends
Enough of this emotional rollercoaster which has crashed years ago on depression mode
Enough of believing i’m surrounded by caring people until […]
Its been a week since I’ve quit my job. My family is struggling to survive as is and yet here I am, at home for the past three days. I haven’t gone out and I haven’t even changed clothes. I feel like I’m wasting the data on my phone but I’m sure it will be cut sometime in the next few days anyway.
I managed to make everyone that mattered at work hate me. I guess partially it was my fault, partially it was Eva’s fault. She came out of nowhere a month ago and befriended my two good friends as well as took my […]
I feel so hopeless in life…it always feels like the same thing everyday, I’ve given up all hope, really what is there for me to live for the “friends” who make me feel invisible? The family who could care less about me? Everything that i loved about my life is gone i literally do nothing anymore…How could nobody notice how much i have changed in the past 4 years…depression got the best of me and I honestly don’t know if i will ever be okay again. All I want is to genuinely happy for just one day none of this fake bs anymore…
I’m new here.. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I don’t know..nothing seems right. People say that they care, but they don’t show it. Why do people say stuff, which they don’t mean? I’m just 20.. I haven’t started living yet…and end is just so near. :/
I’m afraid…not afraid of dying but afraid of hurting people. My mother keep saying that, I wish you were never born.. I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel numb but most of the time it’s just emptiness.
I’m new and don’t really know how to do this so I’ll just keep it simple.
I have been battling the devil known as ‘chronic major depression’ since high school (I am now 22), social anxiety, and eating disorders. Last year I was at my lowest. Almost put a gun to my head twice before I scared myself and decided to try some help. I saw a counselor for maybe two weeks before I gave up going cause she didn’t seem professional, I was being a huge burden to my parents with the money and the worry, and she made me stay away when she […]
I’m not sure where to start with this, so I’ll just pick a place and begin. Currently I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to. I don’t want to get attached to anyone because if I do decide to go through with suicide, then it’ll just be another person I hurt.
I’m 21 and over the last five years, my life has been nothing but oppression. High school was hell. I could not fit in with anyone and was occasionally picked on because of my unnaturally high voice for a guy. I basically isolated myself from everyone since I was ashamed of my voice. […]
I don’t know what brought me to this website. First I was googling resources on suicide prevention and it brought up a link, and here I am. To start things off, I’m not the kind of girl that would be found on here, according to my friends I’m a social butterfly, friendly, sweet and kind hearted. Why I may be those things, I’m also a lot for things no one could even imagine. My family would be completely devastated if they knew the thought of suicide was even slipping into my mind. Of course, people always say “you should see a councillor and get some […]