Over the entire 16 years that I have been alive, many people have told me different things. Now you woukd think that all the good things woukd stick with me and make me feel better, but that is not the way that this stupid ball of dirt we live on works. All the negative, mean, and hurtful things have stuck with me and I keep hearing these voices in my head repeating them. I can hear “Are you really that self-centered?” “When you lived with your mom, you were so horrible I alnost didn’t want to come back.” and “I have known you for over […]
Tag:
horrible
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
I had such a traumatic experience over the weekend on Saturday. It was so horrible, that everything that happened is still so vivid and clear in my head. I can’t thank my boyfriend enough for comforting me. I posted another video. This song gets my mind off of the anxiety and stress.
Well looks like I’m back, you can never truly escape depression. Its just a horrible thing. It clings onto you and hides until it feels like striking sometimes it never goes away. I guess mine never went away. It’s amazing. I’m 15 now. Been a while since I’ve been on here. Ha.
Why does my life feel like a prison sentence?
I have done things that I am not proud of – but did I murder anyone? No, did I steal? No… I didn’t do any of the things that would get you 10 to life… yet that’s exactly what I have – A life sentence to be served daily.. no escape, horrible loneliness, no friends, just existing day after day in this damnable prison of my own mind – such betrayal – my own brain cast me in this cell.
My mother is a lesbian. She hasn’t come out to me or my older sister yet in years. She and my father have been divorced for over 10 years. It’s a secret that I dispise having. She puts it in our faces that she’s gay and has and has had girlfriends. Recently I’ve been really depressed and she’s been putting it in my face that I’m wrong and that I’m her most problematic child. My sister is 7 years older than me. I am 19 and she is 26. She is living at home and has been living at home ever since she back from […]
You can hear the sound of my voice, grip my hand, flesh on flesh, and if you cut me I bleed, but I am simply not alive. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since the 5th grade when I watched my grandmother die. I dont know why I didnt cry. Arent you supposed to? Planned and pictured every possible way to end it. I’ve done horrible things to people and I know they were wrong, but I don’t feel guilt for any of it. I hate what I see in the mirror. It makes me want to scream and break things. Why am I so different from […]
This is probably the first and only time I will be truthful honest about who I am and I’m only doing this because I know none of you know me and never will. Anyways I’m a horrible person and don’t deserve the nice life I have. I’m not like most of the other people on here who have had terrible lives and just want to end the pain. I have many hardships but none nearly as bad as some, yet still here I’m am contempting suicide, so let me explain. I ‘ve done some pretty horrible things, one thing so bad that I can’t even say […]
The one you would take a bullet for is usually the one behind the gun
by thatemokid
written by thatemokid
Been going good for 6 months now. That i when i started going out with my girlfriend. I was finally happy and felt blessed to have her. The last 2 weeks have been horrible between us. We actually broke up 3 days ago but got back together the next day. I felt like i could fix this. Felt like she was trying as hard as me to fix it. We were ok for a day and a half. Then i got a hold of her phone and went through it a bit. I found that one of her new friends was upset with her for […]
Hi, I’m new to this…..and I’m crying right now. I started getting depressed in the 9th grade and that was when my doctor prescribed me anti-depressants. And that was when I wanted to die so I took 5 of those pills but nothing happened. Through time I got better and better until a couple of months ago I started having suicide thoughts and actually cut myself. I’m a religious person and so after that I prayed and promised I would never try it again. I told my mom I was having suicide thoughts and she comforted me and told me it was okay […]
I want to die
I want the death of;
The way my partner doesn’t see me anymore.
The horrible feelings I get when my partner is cold hearted and doesn’t want or return my affections.
Loving somebody who always wants to break my family.
Feeling abandoned and lonely because my partner will gladly never see me again.
Feeling sadness for my kids because they will grow up not knowing me how I thought they would. Being a part time dad changes the way you interact forever.
The way my partner sees me now.
It’s a funny thing blackmail, they take something you have and force you to exchange something else that you have.
It’s purely threats, they could have information or photos of you and they threaten to show the world, even though it could get them in trouble. If you aren’t strong enough, you’re basically their slave.
Recently I’ve been a victim of blackmail and I’ll tell you this, it’s ruining my life. I feel worthless everyday, it’s forced my friends away from me and overall it’s made my depression so much worse. I’ve never been good at maintaining a good and healthy mental condition, now I feel as […]
Everyday seems to blur by in a nonsensical motion that keeps me forever sick and tired. With each passing, I come to the realization that this life isn’t good enough. Living is just not good enough. It’s been that way for years now.
I can’t grasp as to why no one around me feels this way.
I see all these drunken smiles float by, while I still let myself believe my feet are firmly on the ground. I know they’re not. I feel myself falling more and more. I think of killing myself everyday now. My razor is always close by. I just want to […]
What if when you die, if you kill yourself, your punishment is to come back worse than now. A starving kid, someone with a horrible debilitating condition. I guess thats true of any way you die.
I’m just so fuckin sick of this. Before I met tbis creature, I was happy. My own apartment, job, money in the bank, car , NICE things. I genuinely cared about other people. I would make a lunch to give to whatever homeless person I saw once a week on the way to school. He has taken everything from me. I am just a disobedient dog, fuckin stupid cow, dumb monkey.
I don’t just want to kill myself. I want to throw myself in front of bus/train, anything really. I want to jump out of a building. […]
I hate living ,its so horrible and lots of problems ,how hard is heart feels. You love someone for live life along but are the once who sucks you most. Why you love some one ? to take of you but they act like animals and selfish . I never want to born again
Never occurred to me I could be in a world with so many people and yet feel so alone. Used to think talking would help. It did. But then i lived long enough to grow up. Talking is a waste of time and i dont care to trouble people with my issues. Rough life … Sure but i know others have had it worse than me. My mind and spirit isnt better than the next person nor my tolerace and ability to recover. There is no organ transplant for a damaged spirit. Religion and relationships are wishful thinking. I earn my living helping to ease […]
So me and my momma aren’t talking. Well I’m not talking to her. My depression really affects her the worse. She’s seen me at my worst and in rehab. I’ve fought her. We argue like crazy and I’m not very respectful. I mostly take all my anger out on her because of some childhood shxt that I won’t get into. Point is we aren’t talking because she said I don’t respect her. Which is 100% true.
I’m gonna break this down. Imma horrible fckn person. I cut myself. I’ve tried to kill myself. I don’t bellieve in myself. I don’t love myself. So how […]
I only come to this website when I’m feeling down
and that’s ok because I know it will pass eventually
but it also sucks because I know that it will also come back like always.
It’s just a bummer to be doing something and then have the horrible thoughts come into your head. You don’t want them there but they stick around anyway, making everything miserable.
Anyway, that’s all.
I hope you all have a good day, stick in there you guys.
have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted nothing more than to watch them die a slow and horrible death…
have you ever felt like there was no reason to let that person continue to live…
have you ever thought that maybe that person deserves to die…
have you ever hated yourself?