Tag:

Hot Water

Claustrophobia sets in

by lesley 4/1/2013

written by lesley

I really think I am a loser.

I’m almost 25, living in a tiny room in my parents’ place. I know they think I’m a drag and a burden. I should have worked harder in college and not gotten kicked out. I just didn’t give a damn about my classes and I should’ve just argued it out and changed majors, but I didn’t and I flunked a third time. Three strikes right?

XXX

Working part-time at a pretty thankless job, but they’re all thankless. The only full-time employees are managers, of which there are 5 as oppossed to 7 employees. That seems pretty out of whack to me.

I’m […]

4/1/2013 2 comments

Broken, Beat, and Scarred

by HurtAndScarred 2/22/2013

written by HurtAndScarred

~Broken~

When will you learn?

That I am not always going to be there

For you to vent you’re anger on,

That I am not a toy to you,

And you will push me to the brink

I will hurt, over and over,

Cutting deeper and deeper

Until everything in me is ruined,

Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.

When will you try?

To help me

To stop hurting me

To make me feel like I was supposed to be born

To help me not be afraid

Of you,

Of trusting you,

Of loving you,

’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart

I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,

To mold them […]

2/22/2013 1 comment

Lines

by AscahIsBroken 2/5/2013

written by AscahIsBroken

Some of the lines from some of my songs. I didn’t feel like writing the whole song

â€¢She wishes she was perfect
And she slits her wrists because they told her she wasn’tÂ

â€¢They can’t understand that music is my life
If its silent I want to die

â€¢Your screaming is deafening but I like the feeling
Your hate is excruciating but I love your beating
I love that you hate me as much as I hate me

â€¢You can never hurt me as much as I hurt myself. See my scars? You can’t cut any deeper. See my tears? I’m already in hot water, so next time I […]

2/5/2013 2 comments

good morning sunshine

by heima 11/4/2012

written by heima

I woke up this morning and couldnâ€™t believe this is life. That this is the life I have to live. I canâ€™t believe it although itâ€™s there as real as it could be.

I think about the possibility of being somewhere else. In a different body. Different place. Maybe a little house near the sea. Maybe with someone I care about. But this is just a thought for a Sunday morning. I am aware that it could never happen and I honestly don’t want any of that. It’s just something to cover up the reality.

Actually it would be enough if I could just take a shower, […]

11/4/2012 5 comments

New Form of Pain

by TwistedGirl90 10/19/2012

written by TwistedGirl90

So two weeks ago I almost decided to go through with ending it all. I was in the tub, hot water and all. Instruments neatly set up on the side. Box cutter, scalpel, syringe, needles plenty of options to choose from. At that point I had used all of them to inflict harm upon my body knowing it would not result in my death but instead give me some relief from the hell of my life. Upon deciding which one to choose that would do the job right I remembered I never had the opportunity to use the syringe. It was sterilized considering I stole […]

10/19/2012 0 comment

My Story

by papichullo 8/27/2012

written by papichullo

I will never forget this as long as I live. I was 17, I’m almost 21 now, and I was taking a shower one Sunday night. It was June 7, 2009. Two days after my prom, and a month after my boyfriend, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me. I was numb. I stood underneath the water and kept raising the temperature high and higher, burning myself with scalding hot water. I felt like my whole body was withering away, and the pain was magical. I felt as if i could finally feel something again other than darkness and eternal agony.

I […]

8/27/2012 1 comment

When you go, Would you even turn to say “I don’t love you, like i did yesterday”?….

by Nat.... 4/3/2012

written by Nat....

I have a very violent brother, and what’s the worst part? a tiny piece of me really wants him to take out all of his fury on me. To properly hurt me, like i can’t. My razorblade just doesn’t do the trick anymore, i think it’s blunt, only leaves a scratch that doesn’t bleed much. It’s killing me. i need pain, deliberately holding my hand under hot water just the feel the burn…. i don’t think i can do this for much longer.

Life is becoming darker and darker…. i can’t see the light. Afterall? We were just born to die.

I think i’m starting to love […]

4/3/2012 55 comments

If I Die Who Will Know

by warrenkarlneild26 2/23/2012

written by warrenkarlneild26

“Enough is enough i can’t go on……”

I’m nearly fort-two, and suddenly i realized that if i was to die right now nobody would know. I have always felt this loneliness inside me since being a young child but until now i have never understood what lonely really was.

I’m going to end my life. I have tried several times before but failed in my attempts. I think if i try one more time i would get it right. I’ve searched the net every day looking for different ways to end it all, now i know i’ve been doing it all wrong. That’s why i keep failing.

I […]

2/23/2012 6 comments

Reasons.

by MisterRiddler 5/2/2009

written by MisterRiddler

I canceled my next appointment with my shrink. I feel as if I’ve given up on myself already. I started cutting again and it feels amazing to wake up from such blankness. That apathy, mind over matter. However, the tolerance is already building; fast this time. I’m already running the cuts under hot water for the extra wake up sensation.

What is it about our society that makes us fear and hate death so much? We are brainwashed, conditioned to value life and disapprove of death.

Maybe it’s because we are born selfish and our actions are primarily done in self interest. For example, let’s say I […]

5/2/2009 3 comments

Maddening Shroud

by MisterRiddler 4/25/2009

written by MisterRiddler

It’s been 6 years of an undiagnosed, untreated progressive depression.

The Stages:
Stage one just started with deep thinking. What we all go through, what is life worth? who loves me? what would the world be like if i’m dead, etc.

Stage two became mind over matter. This is the point beyond sadness. Cutting never hurt, it was just a way to wake up into reality again, to start feeling again, even it was just sadness.

Stage three was my addiction. I became addicted to cutting as it would relieve me of the emptiness. Cutting eventually stopped working (it works like pain killers, my body developed a tolerance), […]

4/25/2009 3 comments