I owe my life to you
you’ve helped me grow.
you kept me safe
on my darkest days, you were my light.
the last time I thought about taking my last breath, you were the one thing on my mind. I’ve always been vengeful, I’ve always wanted to see you suffer like you watched me – and I knew taking away something you cared about would hurt you more than anything.
two birds, one stone.
if I kill myself, it would kill you too.
but watching you smile –
hearing you breathe
makes me […]
where nothing feels real?
and you struggle to maintain a certain level of normalcy when you’re talking to people?
when all you’re really thinking about is:
cutting. slicing your skin and seeing blood, red against the tan of your skin
jumping off the roof off the university health center, the one with the National Suicide Prevention Month poster in front of it, wouldn’t that be ironic?
sticking your head in an oven, a la Sylvia Plath…would it hurt? would you be able to withstand the pain? imagine the faces of whoever finds you. blood and brains splattered all over the kitchen, your burning corpse against the open oven door
cutting.
burning your […]
Has anyone here had to do some “psychological testing?” What is it like? I’ve been told I’m going to be evaluated from these tests. I’ve taken some multiple choice tests before, but I’m wondering if there will be more to this. Will it hurt? Will they probe my anus? Any shared experiences would be nice…
– in beautiful sutra –
I am the dying flower
My binary, a baby-child that became
Your cosmic, Gaia sings to me as a ghost
In the melody; I wish I was alive, it says
But I know, such fate does not exist in my path
I am for eternal, I have fallen and failed
I am a ghost, I no longer exist as you do
An echo of an abyss, my forsaken shell
In nature, take me to my burial
Through spike-chains of heaven and hell
My thrust is of another space, too ethereal
To the death, golden sands, let me burn as the sun
Maximized Iron-Age course in my […]
The feeling of being hurt can not fully be described unless you feel it.. you feel it in your soul, in everything you do.. its around you and eventually becomes you and defines you.
Being hurt cuts like a knife.
Once you feel it so many times, you begin to convince yourself that this is how it’s meant to be for you. That feeling of constant rejection, confession, DISAPPOINTMENT.
Hurt can not be covered up with words. Words fade. But hurt doesn’t. You only learn to live with it but once you learn, your hurt all over again, only this time it’s greater than before… […]
Lately my thoughts are filled with my death…weather it be by my own hands, another or some freak accident.
ive always been suicidal, since a very young age and I’ve been in and out of ‘mental institutions’ since I was 13…I’m now 18. Nothing helps anymore…I feel like the weight of the world is holding my down. I try looking to things or people I love and know will be hurt by my death but even that’s not helping.
i can’t sleep anymore, I’m so scared of everything. I’m scared someone will break in and hurt my family. I’m scared of even the tiniest things.
Hell my dog […]
Seriously. I’ve tried and failed to take my own life, and my family will hurt less if I get “murdered”.
I’m in California. You’d think finding a way to “accidentally” die here would be easier…
She plays with razors
She traces he scars
She counts her flaws like she counts stars
You think you know her but you dont
Everyday her thoughts get darker
Her heart sinks a little more
She doesnt see the light anymore
“Open up to me, I won’t judge you.”
“Trust me, I won’t hurt you.”
“I’ll never leave you.”
“I love you.”
All the lies they told me.
I’m 23/female – Born with the name “jamie-ann”
I catch myself in these dazes often now,
I think about how I want to Kill myself,
how much will it hurt? who would really feel “loss”
I run from all my problems instead of talking to others about them
because why let them inside right?
I left my husband because I could no longer find the joy in seeing him
walk through the door after work, this illness is destroying my life
and quiet frankly i’m not even sure if it’s a life anymore.
this is day 5 of being in bed, i’m pretty sure I was fired from my […]
I’m probably going to kill myself tonight. I know I’ll be doing everyone I know a favor. Accutely I’m sure people will be sad and hurt but I’m certain over the long haul the world and everyone I’ve ever met will be better off without me.
I am 56, soon 57 in a few weeks. I am lonely. I have a 25 year old son, who hardly ever comes to visit me. A woman lived with me for many years. She was my girlfriend. I found out that she cheated on me twice. That day I found out, she came home, but I told her that I wouldn’t give her any more chances, and to pack up her things and remove them from my house and leave, because I did not want to be cheated on anymore. It hurt me to do this to her, but it hurt even more being […]
Stressing and worrying
Clammy hands and darting eyes
The world all around
She began to despise
The simplest tasks were scary
The people surrounding
Still hurt her profoundly
As the words from there lips
Not a single one missed
*****, slut and whore
Scars she had to bear
On show for the world
Gone but always their
Not a single person helped her
They all saw her drowning
Still going about there day
Noticing and still frowning
She knew nobody cared
But the image still hurt
As family and friends
Stood around and all glared
Drowning more each day
In the tears she had cried
The girl that once was pure
Nearly […]
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
My life is perfect today.This depression is deafening. I cant see a thing. My vision is blurred. All I can dream of is death, I just in no way can tolerate one more day, I willingly want to die but I feel im being selfish. Im so much hurt that death looks beautiful. I need the stable peace, I have tried twice this time im jumping off a high building if I can have access to one. Im yet to complete my suicide note. I dont want to hurt my family, but I know im doing it very soon.. everything in my life is in […]
would it work? I think it might, I just don’t know the side effects. I’m 25 now and have been struggling with my depression anxiety and mania since I was 11. They added borderline personality disorder as a comorbid to my bipolar II when I was 20. I just don’t have it in me anymore to do this. I am a coward, and don’t want it to hurt. I already hurt enough all the time. So I want death to be painless. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I just want to sleep forever and ever. And that makes me […]
I looked through some old stuff of mine today. It seems like the past three weeks have been about understanding around when hell began. I found a diary from when I was 13, seven years ago. As I read it I’ve noticed some minor symptoms of depression, so, the illness actually existed a long time before I knew it, but it definitely reached its peak two years ago.
I just joined the army then, and lasted four days. It was the purest hell I couldn’t imagine. Pain, all over. Not that physical, tolerable pain. Emotional pain. Nothing seemed important anymore. Not my family, not my life. Then, on the […]
No idea how I just survived nearly three days incredibly suicidal. I am exhausted. Ready to sleep for a few days. How the fuck did I make it yet again. I cried so much my eyes hurt. I am really only here because my cats. They are my furry angels. One is 13 with cancer. She is doing really well. I am mostly her for her because I don’t trust anyone to take care of her or my other little angels.
I rarely come on this site…but I think it’d be a good time to post to get a little off my chest. I don’t know how to feel about life right now. I feel so alone and just overall confused. I really am looking forward to the day where I truly love myself and feel at peace. I don’t even know how I’ve made it this far. I know I’m a shitty person to the people that really matter and who will always be there for me. I’m so selfish towards my family, yet I never do anything about it. Another thing that is just […]
of the unknown and feel soo tired. i dont wanna get hurt, i want to be safe, i want to do it, i just need some time, i need a good building.
For a long time I’ve been hanging by a thread. Only here to make my daughters life worth something. Tied here because her dad died of bronchial pneumonia whilst I was pregnant.
Now because I cannot even put food on the table for her, I am having to look for someone who is capable of doing so.
I will be so calm, happy and relieved, at the same time scared, worried and sick that my daughter will have to endure this life with someone she doesn’t know and without both of her parents.
I tried to get a job, none pay anymore. Job centre has […]
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