I’m the kind of person that get really get attach to someone who cares for me. Like if we start talking for a while and becomes a routine it’ll become like a part of me. So eventually, when you decide out of the blue that your going to leave and not say a word it’s going to hurt, of course not knowing what i did or didn’t do that made you run away from me of fucking course that it’s going to hurt. Because the other night it was all laughing smiles and love and now it’s ( i don’t even think i can name […]
Tag:
hurt
I finally figured out what it is. He completely invalidated my feelings. The love I’ve felt for him or anyone else, he writes off as stupid or crazy. So my feelings aren’t real to others and therefore don’t matter. Apparently you can stomp all over my ‘feelings’ and it won’t hurt me because I don’t really have any true, honest, normal and rational feelings like everybody else. That just invalidates my entire LIFE because I’ve known what I wanted out of life since I was 5. My death truly won’t matter.
I lie in bed, low, apathetic, empty. As usual. Like every day. Life hasn’t felt good since I was a child.
I’ve heard people say that suicide will not solve any problems and will only create a new ones. In my case, I think more problems would be solved that created. Of course, people close to me would have to deal with a loss, would have to burry me, which would be expensive, and then they would be grieving. It’s only two people that would have to suffer. I don’t want to hurt them like that, but I feel that me being alive is causing them more […]
Hello everyone, when i first found this place, i thought it was going to give me some painless methods to end it all, and though i am scared of whats on the other side.. ( pagan but not sure). I still felt like my life was just getting to hard for me. It was not a matter of , was i too scared to face it or had lack of support. Its worse then that.
I have Borderline personality disorder, I have dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder. Social anxiety disorder.
Thus, i am a walking mess and i […]
I’ve been hiding my pain for ong time. All these feelings of hatred towards myself, my infinite flaws, and my terrible life. Anyone who does know about it is also aware that I’m not worth their time or effort to help. And they’re right. All I do is hurt people, piss them off, annoy them, let them down, burden them, and plenty more. When I finally successfully kill myself, I will be doing them all a favor. Not one would care, and it would improve their lives immensely. The closest I came to happiness was meeting my best friend, who actually could put a smile […]
The future is bleak for me. If ever I’m still hanging to this thin thread of existence I won’t be doing it for me. But then again, what’s my worth that I feel the need to stay for other people? All I bring is pain and hurt for other people. I am just a worthless peace of garbage, a malfunctioning half corpse that is better off dead.
i don’t know where it all started i got so angry and so upset that i had an urge like no other i could never seem to bring myself to inflict harm on someone else so i started cutting. oh my gosh at the instant relief you get so i just kept doing it again and again and again. my first time was with a tack cause i was 14 and did have anything else at the time. then i got older got a pocket knife never cut directly over the wrists i did want to really kill myself just wanted the pain to go […]
yesterday I failed a test at school and was not suprised, I stayed positive and told myself I’ll pass it next time. I had a huge argument with my parents and my positive state of mind quickly turned to deppresion…I spent the whole day just lying in bed, thinking…why do my parents yell at me? why can’t they just say something nice instead of making me feel like I embarras them? I’m being treated like i was a mistake, like I don’t even matter to them. maybe I don’t…Today I woke up rested and despite everything I tried to be happy. I came into the kitchen […]
Please don’t break my heart.
Please.
For a person that is already struggling and have been struggling for years there to see those is alot of extra hurt and pain when those ones closes to You don’t really try to help support or care so You continue to EXPERIENCE A LIFE FULL SORROW AND DISPAIR THAT IS PLACED ON YOU IN THE FORM OF MENTAL ILLNESS! Which through My Wife And Two Daughter’s Eyes, Which By The Way, Believe In Christ Jesus, Plan And Simple That Their Husband And Father is just “CRAZY!” How fun and rewarding it is to see those closes to You are more than Willing To Help […]
Hi,
so so this is the first time ever posting on a site (any site actually) but I’ve found that venting about thing regardless if people respond or not is beneficial and seeing a therapist once a week is clearly not cutting it anymore.
Okay let’s see now, I am 23 first generation American, middle child, genetic history of major clinical depression with multiple family members taking their own lives.
On the surface, I have a pleasant life. I haven’t had to worry about finances as much as most people have. Ran track in HS and was a state champion. Played collegiate rugby and excelled. However since I was […]
You know, I’ve always been quiet; I don’t get heard because I’ve never said a word that I thought people might actually listen to.
You know, I’ve always been forgettable; I blend into walls and make myself small, and people don’t often even see me– they believe what they want to believe and I get lost in the mystery of who are we talking about?
You know, I’ve always been gentle; no one gets hurt because the only pain that lurks around me gets buried in laughs and pulled-down shirts, because no one besides me deserves to gain new scars.
You know, I’ve always been […]
So here’s the thing. I hurt all the time, hurt from my head to my toes, just hurt everywhere and all the time. As cliché as this sounds it is literally as if there is something or part of my heart missing. I am also very lonely. I really want someone who will care for me, hold me as I start to cry, someone to tell me that I am perfect, beautiful.
I can be anyone be anyone I want to be, I can be the bad girl, the good girl, the messed up girl, the girl who doesn’t have a care. I don’t know who […]
I have never really had any friends my whole life. Ive dealt with depression and ocd for 4 years, suicide idealization, i just graduated high school last year and now in college. Still no friends, i ruin my everyones life. My 21 year old sister does not love/care for me. My mom.. Most of all i have hurt her and stressed her out all my life. My dads gone and i wish i could have died with w/ him. I mess up everything i do. I am selfish, weak, and a person that should have not been born. Im 18 years old – a female […]
Its been almost 6 months since you left . Hard to believe it would still hurt so badly…. We both moved on and yet I now feel cold more than ever and alone. Why ??? seriously just why???? I am so fucking sick of feeling like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrGq-pSvZg8
I’m falling in love,
But something feels wrong.
Something about his words,
Feels like lies dressed as love.
I need to find a way to explain
How I really feel about this pain,
I don’t want to get hurt again.
I tried to save myself from me I tried to find ways to find peace I try to find happy bcuz happy won’t find me.
Every reason why I shouldn’t be here has arisen.
Depression has crashed down like icicles.
I will continue to cut all over my body as a signature of All the pain I have and can endure.
In the meantime I promise not to hurt those that hurt me in a way that they would hate themselves to face this too.. I just want peace for myself.
Waking up and Breathing is the hardest. It takes that peace away from me. […]
I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out […]
I have been feeling this way for a long time now. I really don’t know why though, I wish i did. I feel like dying is the only option for me. But I can’t because my Mom needs me. I have tons of scars that I wish I could hide but I can’t since its the summer and its really fucking hot. Its hard to feel this way and want to die but you can’t because you know it will hurt the ones you love. *sigh* I really need to think…….
Firstly, I’m sorry for my awful English. English is not my first language so … yeah, i just hope that my post is not so confusing. Well, here it is ….
I never know that I can make it.
I mean, I always thought that I will be dead by now. (I’m 23 years old and I always think about suicide even before my 7th birthday)
Ever since that “accident”, I always torn between to kill myself or to keep living in this hell.
I already prepare the tools (for suicide) too. I keep on thinking about the easiest way to end my life.
Before I reach my 9th year […]