so lost.tired.broken. nothing to describe how im feeling really. i want to sleep forever it seems like my whole future has gone out the window. so tired and restless but i have to figure ths shit out i might be over dramatic but oh well. ig i cant say that or id be a hypocrite haha..
i cant speak. everytime someone trys to get me to talk about my feelings i choke on my words. I’ve always kept my emotions in i guess i got used to not talking about them. someties its just random things like about my day or whatever its hard. i start to breath heavily and i get scared then wont say anything. my best friend ariana gets mad when i do that but i cant help it!
I cant be who i am when who i am gets in the way of what i so desperately want. To be loved, to be accepted as I am without someone telling me what i cant change is wrong or disgusting… So I hate myself. More so than anyone ever hated me. I dont think im a bad person, but every time I try to show someone how i feel, im met with this look of disgust and contempt, given lectures of total bullshit, brushed off, pushed away… even betrayed by people i thought I could trust. They were my friends until i couldnt joke about […]
iam 21 and i have gone through many things which are beyond my age. i love my family very much. i love u mom sister and my brother. iam sorry that iam going to end my life as soon as possible becase i cant stay in this world full of fake. i always tried to be myself and because of that people hate me saying im proud an egoist.
i love u dad.. before u left us…every thing was perfect.. my life was a heaven. now its a hell which i want to end. i wonder what people think if i die…no one does not even […]
I want to die and the option i have chosen is cutting vein of wrist… I have gone through all advices. But i just want suggestions for some painkillers to avoid the pain after cuts. Actually i cant see blood, and if its with pain then i am sure i will fail. I am 21 years old girl. Please give me suggeations and list of drugs which will easily available in medical.
And do anyone knoe what it advil/avil.. I think its a drug; overdose of which will cause death. Please give information about this also. Do fast as i habe just 10-12 hours left.
I dont know what to do, I have really bad mood swings.. ups and downs.. cant controlhow myself.
Last year, I tried to get help by a psychotherapist because of that and because I have bad anxiety, couldnt go into a little bit crowded place without wanting to cry out of panic and feeling (but not doing) I’ll pee myself, but I realized that the therapy wasn’t helping and I am the only one who can help my self and so I stopped going there. The Therapist doesn’t seem to understand me. Getting that fact and starting to meditate, I really felt like I got myself […]
the way i feel has no words. i live day in and day put of not being wanted by anyone. i am a burden to everyone i speak with. i annoy people. there’s something very off about who i am. why am i so strange?
i just want someone to listen to me. ive been used by others for disgusting factors. people tire of me easily
i bring bad luck to whomever im with
im just devastating as a person.
nobody at 18 years old should feel like me. i wish i was normal i wish i didn’t want to die. i wish someone cared. i wish […]
ive always been pretty fuckin cocky. but i mean with a mind and body like mine i cant fuckin help it i mean cmon haha. I’ve never felt more in charge of my life and myself than I have since the night of the full moon two nights ago. I looked up and let Dyana go. Dyana is my twin spirit. she latched onto me in the womb to save herself out of fear. so i’d naturally been carrying and protecting her my whole goddamn life. Talk about confusing huh. 26 years of being two people in one body. fuckin nuts man. finally shes […]
Is religion real? if so, which one? i was raised christian, and i still am even after everything that has happened. I believe he was around to save the world. But many religions have key figures. What the heck? what does it all mean? does it even matter to try and figure this stuff out? does heaven exist in any form? Im poor, we dont ask ourselves these kinds of questions, we just try to keep living. I honestly dont want to live anymore (if i cant get my health issues fixed, or find a job), but what is the point of it all? i […]
For as long as i can remember i felt like i dont belong. As i get older i feel it even more. I cannot die tho i welcome the thought. You see i have kids and grandkids. But most of the time i feel they wud be better off without me around. Everything i touchgoes to crap. Everyone i love leaves. I tried to end my life twice a long time ago and failed at that just as i fail at everything. I am now in the middle of my 4th divorce and have finally figured out i am meant to be alone. I just […]
fukk me you beautiful ***** — my darkness
i hate the organization im working for. i hate giving away my money to these fuckin organizations that cant be trusted. why i would i want to do that and get other people to do it. these organizations swindle so many people out of cash and there are so many looking for hand outs. its fucking annoying. its so true like we should take care of our […]
Anyone ever read tht book, it literally kills me deep inside by mentioning how i actually feel abt death and now it sucks, i cant get over the bk, or, maybe this life, this death thingy .
Wow. Death.
i cant understand people and i will never do . i cant hurt anyone but myself even though everyone tries to hurt me. i just dont wanna exist anymore. people telling lies all around me . others dont believe in me. im a that normal or they are just too blinded. i have gone insane, im telling them that, nobody gives a shit. I cant even write this post without thinking about diffrent topics in the same time. i just feel that nothing else, no one else matters. still looking for that one reason for me to stay alive , and still havent found it. my […]
Hey guys,
I have been suicidal for about 4 months now. And i have been cutting for the past one month.
It all started with this girl, who i liked but who didnt even think of me as a friend, and she had and still has a boyfriend. I started feeling useless and i talked to her, got to know her, i fell for her harder and i feel like shit all the time.
i dont have many friends, and it doesn’t help. I cant talk to my parents about this.
More importantly, i am in +2 rn, so college from next year. And i have practically stopped studying […]
it has been many months since i last posted on this website and i honestly thought i was getting better. Then, BAM!!! life gets you down once again and you find yourself asking the same meaningless question : ‘why me?’.
first i lost my family and simultaneously i started to fail my modules and have my bursary tugged away. i keep trying. i keep trying to pull myself up again but i dont understand why i need to suffer so much. so far my career is all i have left but now even that is fading from my life. it isnt like im not trying or […]
i have to convince myself that i not trying hard enough and using my chronic illness as an ecuse to give up, not try, and be unhappy. If i dont, my girlfriend who i love dearly will leave me. I cannot talk about my chronic illness, and my attempts to cope with it. I must listen to her vent and say that i dont listen to her, that i dont love her or her son, that im selfish and all that. Its fine. I do use my chronic illness as an excuse. Im not truly trying hard. I was giving up, and saying that “i […]
Heres my story i just need to talk to someone.
I will be 24 years old in a few weeks. I have lost everything. The love of my life left me 5 months ago. Im in so much pain but thats not even the start! It was all my fault she left. I have been hurt by 2 girls in the past i didnt open up my heart to this one soon enough! I was scared to get hurt again! I took her for granted and put my freinds first. Because i felt the would be the ones here for me in the end. I have […]
Ive found some media coverage around the world on a method that is near full proof and not much pain if taken with alcohol and sleep meds. If read papers and papers and stacks on this shit. Unfortunately this site is about no methods. Its been glamorized in hong kong and korea through media outlets. So ive chosen this as a way out if i do go. Pretty sure i will as i cant comprehend hearing voices till im 90 or so. Also male schizos are 60% likely to attempt suicide once. Its my life lesson i have to learn.
Also people have accidentally killed […]
i still dream about you every time i fall asleep i never imagined pleasant dreams could feel like nightmares but no matter how hard i try i cant stay awake forever i lose a little more of myself every time i wake up
Hello everyone, when i first found this place, i thought it was going to give me some painless methods to end it all, and though i am scared of whats on the other side.. ( pagan but not sure). I still felt like my life was just getting to hard for me. It was not a matter of , was i too scared to face it or had lack of support. Its worse then that.
I have Borderline personality disorder, I have dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder. Social anxiety disorder.
Thus, i am a walking mess and i […]