Hey guys,
I have been suicidal for about 4 months now. And i have been cutting for the past one month.
It all started with this girl, who i liked but who didnt even think of me as a friend, and she had and still has a boyfriend. I started feeling useless and i talked to her, got to know her, i fell for her harder and i feel like shit all the time.
i dont have many friends, and it doesn’t help. I cant talk to my parents about this.
More importantly, i am in +2 rn, so college from next year. And i have practically stopped studying since she happened.
And i mean, i cant get the cuts to end it cus i am scared and somehow i think it MIGHT, JUST MIGHT, get better.
I think i need someone to talk to. Thanks guys
13 comments
Hi there
i know how it feels like to have crush on someone and they dont feel the same. I was pretty devastated.
and im also applying to uni, and the time during this period can be particularly stressful. It feels like it just stacks up to the things-making-me-stressful list.
Should you need someone to talk to, im open to a conversation:)
Hey thanks man.
So shes in my class in school. And you know, we talk occasionally and text like every other day, and she opened ups to me sometimes. And the more i see her laugh, or smile, or just sit there, i fall for her more and more.
And my backlog is unimaginably huge. I have like pending stuff to do since forever.
What doesn’t help is that, all over these years i kind of acted like an asshole to everyone cus i thought thats how you get shit done. And now i am alone with no real friends.
I can relate, to simply look at someone we like will give us this euphoria. Have you tried to confess your feeling to her?
Yeah, acting like a badass sometimes make people like us more, just because. And it also give us, strangely, a boost of confidence right? But, it does come with the side effect.
I also have bunch of friends, but no real friends. Having the knowledge that we have no real friends hurts. And sometimes i pretend to be happy when im with them. Furthermore, they are too busy to deal with their shits and only come to me when they need me. So i came with this realization that at the end of the day, i am the only one who can fight and stick with me.
Ahaha i cant confess my feelings. I am not very tall, a bit overweight, i literally have no chance in hell with her. Shes one of them, you know, shes isn’t very hot, but she’s pretty, she aint no Einstein, but she understands me just fine. So shes waaaaay out of my league. Besides she has a boyfriend and I’d rather that i didn’t have a black eye.
And yh, idk, its like whenever i see other people together, be it just as friends or in a relationship, i feel alone like the life is sucked out of me.
I can only hope you know what it feels like.
Oi, tell me this though, how did u get over your crush? And btw, i have been in love with her for like 5 months now, i think this is love not crush, huh?
Nobody is perfect, and we are all perfectly imperfect. Somehow our flaw makes us, us. And i know that she’s simply perfect in your eyes right? I used to feel the same way. Oh right, she’s got a bf, but maybe the chance will eventually come to you.
I knowww, that jealousy seeing people happy together, to know that they have someone that got their back.
my crush was single tho, he didnt have any gf back then. At first, i didnt have any feeling towards him, but he keep texting me, showing how care he is abt me, so then i liked him. One day, he told me that he hasnt over his ex yet, it made me so disappointed and i guess i lost all of my feeling towards him. The disappointment and the mindset to take him as a friend are what made me be able to finally moveon. But it’s going to be totally different with you, each person has their own way to move on. Easiest way, find someone else.
There is a thin line between liking and loving someone. I think you are the only one who truly know how you are feeling. And hey, people fall in love numerous times, even when sometimes falling in love hurts like hell.
Idk mate. Its soooo frickin hard. Cus when i am in class all i do is look at her when at home all i do most of the time is think how lovely it would be to be with her. And her and I have a lot in commom, insecurities, fears, love for minions ahah.
And she won’t even talk to me most of the time in class, cus she’s part of the higher social strata, you know how highschool social levels go. And she’s always laughing with her friends.
Its like i want her to be happy, but i guess i wanna be that cause of happiness.
Quick question though, any advice? Cus its been 5 months and i have literally fucked my future over.
I knoww, trust me i know how that feels like. What can i say, highschool can suck bt it can be awesome as well. It is a 50/50 chance. But hopefully, things will turn 180? for you in college.
If you ask me, i really and highly suggest for you to concentrate for your college preparation first, afterall it determines your future. Perhaps try to moveon slowly, its not going to be easy, but im sure you can do it.
I dont believe you for ruining your future already, theres still time for you to work your way up.
Yeah. You are probably right. I can honestly say i am feeling much much better. Ahaha first day on this site and you made my day… Thanks a ton mate.
And if you need any help i am here.
Thanks again..
Ill update the day after tho. If there was any success or not.
yeay glad i can help:)
Ahaha yesss. Oi, quick question, if she texts, what in gods good name should i do?
reply her of course, moving on doesn’t mean you should completely ignore her. Try to take her as a friend only. Good luck:)
A real friend is someone that can hear you and see you completely and not run away. I see you and hear you completely.
Sending a hug xxx
Ikr. I crave human contact nowadays, all i want is to connect to other people, somehow them telling me their sad stories makes me feel like “hey i am not alone”, but idk, that stuffs never gonna happen.