Told my family im on the west coast. they did what I thought they would freak out threatened me again threaten to break my marriage again .
Im tired If im being played for a fool let me be played mom and dad . I am a worthless fool . let me die in life mentally emotionally, physically. Im tired of fighting my father siad hell see me in two weeks . I might end it then he gave me my time slot the 9th still stands I guess.
So I got it, but aparently it’s made by a company in India lol. The only complaints I’ve seen about it are that it’s a little weaker than its supposed to be, though it still works sooo…yay. Tested one out a little while ago. Waiting to see any effects. It had a strong smell though, don’t know how to describe it. I guess it just smelled…old? And I guess I’m gonna keep having updates until I decide to end things.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m new here… uh, actually, I already knew of this place, but… I never had the courage to actually post something here. I guess this is a start? Maybe we can be friends :). I hope that we can help each other or at least be friends .
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’be technically been on this site for 2 or 3 years now just looking around, but this is really the first time I’ve ever made a post. I’ve seen how everyone here connects and empathizes with each other, and I guess now I’ve decided that finally posting and visiting the sight without private browsing on could be the best thing to help for right now. I’m in a bad spot; potentially the worst I’ve ever been in. To be honest I’m pretty sure I won’t be alive for much longer than a year if that, barring a miracle. And if I do die soon I […]
Hey all, I’ve known and read through SP for a little while now and have now joined.
Where do I begin. “I hate my life”, I guess would be it. I think and say this most days now and my general demeanor is usually unhappy and frustrated at the state of my life. I know my life isn’t particularly a bad one, I mean its comfortable and easy (im 20 still looking for a job (that aint likely)) I get to do lots of nothing and play games most of the time so mostly I shouldnt really complain but screw mostly, I will if I want […]
I made a poem? I guess it is… maybe, anyways, I tried using usernames, it sort of makes sense, anyways, here it is.
Don’t call me cordless,
Got a rope around my neck,
Strung up between totrees,
Looking sad like a whiskered-fish,
Rocketman blast off into,
An alternate reality of sorts,
Deadman living in a simulation,
Some kind of mindless gamer,
Seeking a performance death,
GT suicide is bliss.
A mysterious visitor alone,
Like a phantom citizens drowning,
Under hazy day sunflowers
Desperately needing money-
Penny is all I found.
Under the dark willow,
Lonely roses will grow,
They’re all dead inside-
59,
Or 3 of 6
In remembrance […]
Hey first time posting up here, never had the gutts to make a page. But that all changed today during second block in school. Don’t really no what to write, I guess inspiration needs to strike
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I’ve been pretty depressed and anxious ever since. And my mom just found out I failed 3 of my classes last tri, and she said she’s gonna take my phone and car away if I don’t get better grades. That really worries me because my music is on my phone and I rely on my music daily. Everything’s getting a lot harder to deal with. If I see him in the cafeteria at school, I get sick to my stomach and I usually don’t end up eating very much, if at all. I feel like […]
i really wouldn’t mind sleeping forever it would take a miracle for them pills to do the trick because let’s face it life isn’t going to get much better we r just giving our self faults hopes but tomorrow another day for the battle to continue I guess good night guys
I know I brought this up several times already, but this happens with me often, with my guidance or anyone really. Happened with the psychologist today. You know when they bring up suicide or something dire like that, you can’t help but *smile* or *laugh*.
God its embarrassing. I guess its to take the pressure off, since its a heavy topic. Or maybe its because we all have to laugh at a topic like that. Its possible, in my case, I felt like crying so bad, that all I can manage is a laugh or smile.
Its stupid. I tried so hard not to smile or laugh. […]
So, it seems he has some skinny tiny girl interested in him. She’s of course not pretty. Way too gaunt and malnourished looking, but that’s what he likes. Anorexic and underweight. She looks young and she has two babies exactly 9 months apart and I guess no baby daddies in the picture. WHY must every man want these sluts just because they’re anorexic??? I’ve accepted that I was born to be alone and never have love in my life, but it still hurts to see my dream guy getting close to someone.
My best friend recently quit university and went to rehab because of her depression/social anxiety. I wish I had the ability to just do that, I wish I had parents who took me seriously. Then again, I can’t blame them, since I have a brother who fought epilepsy for years and is still recovering. They already have one problematic child to take care of. I have to just shut up, I guess.
Also, my best friend isn’t answering my messages, or anyone’s for that matter. I have lost the only person that helped me get through my darkest times. There’s no one else to trust.
Whatever it is. ….. I can’t …..
I feel like… I’m not depressed enough. Does that make any sense? Like, I’m not suicidal enough to be here. I don’t fit in.
I’m not numb. I feel. I feel a lot. I can’t describe it though. Sad, yes but not that sad. Angry, a little. I guess, well… I feel like a radio stuck between 2 stations. 2 different songs alternating, making no sense and a shit load of static.
The fuck is emotional static?
It just makes me angry I guess. Them thinking that the moment they found out I was suicidal, that I suddenly got better in the blink of an eye, after a freaking year of thoughts about ways to die, and what dying would feel like.
I hate that they think I’m all better now. I hate them for thinking that they can fix me. I hate them for thinking I’m sick. I hate them for thinking that I know nothing about what’s going on around me. I DO! I know more than they do, I know exactly what I was doing, that’s why I did it.
The […]
Everything is prepared, in about 20-30 minutes I will go into my bathroom, sit in the tub, zone out to some good music, and fall asleep. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I wish I could say proper goodbyes to a few people before I go but that would tip them off to what I am about to do.
I wish things could have worked out differently for me but I guess an average life was too much to ask for. Oh well.
What is the real meaning of life what is my purpose for being here it’s hard to live when your depressed let alone when your list for living and dying and you have more reasons to die then live I guess the only thing keeping me from trying again is the what if but what if things don’t get better and I’m just waiting around hoping I’m so tired and sleep isn’t helping just want to sleep for ever and disappear
I just don’t know anymore everyday seems to be more of a struggle how do people live years with suicidal thoughts ? I started having them like 4 years ago and last year I started to act on them in not afraid of dying no more I’m more afraid of living right now it’s kind of sad well I guess this is how my story meant to go and I’m ok with that I think in my life iv had more down days then up days and last year was the loneliest year of all and to be honest the loneliness is killing me more […]
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