I feel like everything is falling apart. I don’t know what to do or deal with this any more. I’m so stupid. I hate myself so much.
Tag:
i hate myself
my mind is racing with all kinds of negative thoughts. therapy is getting hard and heavy. been feeling physically sick with the stress. i am in a very fragile state. been stirring up the shit in therapy and something big is lurking just below the surface. i don’t know what it is but i can cry at the drop of the hat. i am supposed to be trying hypnosis but at the moment it terrifies me. i am scared . something momentous is going to happen and no one outside of therapy knows it. i am withdrawing from family/friends because i just don’t want to […]
My Body is hurting like crazy I hope my pain has a limit because I’m so tired of it all damn muscles spasms n it’s too much pain I have pills but I choose not to take them my spine n back feel like the springs on a slinky going forward I have a few friends I like to chat with n to maybe help me to get better in a way by making me laugh n at times I just don’t know whether I want to just throw in the towel n say I’m done with life it seems I’ve been waiting […]
just found out that my ex just told my classmates what we did when we were together. We didnt have sex but we did some things close to that. i know you get it. Im living in a conservative country and not liberated so you must get how worst my situation is. I dont know how will i face them tomorrow. i just wish that im dead. like …is it just me who’s karma is applicable? like other people did worse things than that but still living a good life. all i wanna do is to change my life. but life wont allow me. like […]
Fuck my life. I want to die. I feel so alone and empty. There is so much pain it is unbearable. All day I pretend to be fucking okay and I am not. I go to work and do everything but I am not okay. I smile and laugh and say, “Yes, I’m doing good,” when its all a bloody lie. There is no end to this pain. It is unrelenting, stalking me through every moment of every day, reaching out to suffocate me with its gnarly hands. I am a shell.
i hate myself for every single little thing i do. i get into an argument with my mom, i hate myself after for the attitude i gave. i eat, i hate myself after for eating. i stay quite, i hate myself for not speaking. i speak and i hate myself for not staying quite. it seems that no mater what i do, i am never satisfied with myself in anything i do. i feel like i will never be satisfied. i will always hate myself.
I am so fucking done with the world. It seems like I can’t do anything. I sing, well at least I try to, and every single time my family puts me down any buries my dreams in HELL. I Â write, and somebody either says “It’s Stupid” “It sounds like plagiarism” “Are you sure you aren’t copying?” “Im pretty sure thats already a book” or criticizes it. And I get the WORST writers block, and most of my stories remained unfinished, sitting in the hard drive of my computer. The one that I did finish is awful, and I’ve thrown that one in trash mountain. People […]
Did you ever wanted that every human being had a restart button and start all over again? well, that’s all i ever wanted since i start to feel this way, empty, usseles, no loved, but no, you need to learn how to live with it, you need to learn how to deal with every day, i don’t think i’m learning to, i don’t like this world, i don’t like my life, i don’t like anyone around me, Â I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS WANT TO FEEL LOVED, I HATE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS DEPEND ON SOMEONE, Â i hate myself, but sorry, killing myself […]
I hate my self so much I just want to die life is hell please if I could just feel better maybe I wouldn’t need to die anymore my life just causes pain and that is the last thing I want to do I don’t want to die anymore I need to it seems like the only ending
I Â hate my life.
i hate myself.
i hate the feeling of being alone.
I hate that life is a beautiful lie and that death is a hideous truth.
i hate that I want to die
I hate the world I live in.
i hate that I want to love .
i hate me , myself, and I.
i hate that I love someone who doesn’t love me back.
i hate that I am the way I am.
i hate that I want to be happy.
i hate that I love to […]
I punched me in the head really hard but not hard enough im not brave to punch me hard enough to cause concussion
the best way i can describe the feeling is utter tiredness, the kind that makes your bones ache
by petrichor
written by petrichor
i can barely go a few hours without remembering how desperate i am to not exist
I cant live with myself anymore after he left ,i just hate myself so much for not being good for him ,i hate myself for having an ugly personality and ugly face and ugly body and i hate myself for being stupid and not being good at anything! I just hate that im not one of his sexy smart pretty friends ,i hate that he left me ,i hate that i cant rewind ,i hate that i cant get over him and i hate how much i miss him!.
I’ve been pondering this for over a year, Â I told myself that if life didn’t get better by the new years came, I’m killing myself. I’ve got no reason to live, I’ve got no motivation to do anything more than stay at home, at school I’m failing every single one of my classes, I’ve got no friends, my family is gone, my teachers hate me, people in school hate me, and I hate myself. Today was it, someone useless like me is better dead anyways, I don’t even know anyone who could possible care about this suicide not.
So tonight, I’m gonna drink all the pills […]
Everyday it seems to be getting worse and worse. I’m coming to the end of this pointless life that I have been attempting to live but it’s all too much. The final goodbye, it just a breath away.
Really, what’s so great about this world anyways? All I see are a bunch of people who have too many worries to be bothered with some suicidal girl, and I don’t blame them, I wish I could be one of them but I’m not. I’m just a repulsive, hard to love, self harming, suicidal girl. I’m no one special or anyone that will be truly missed. Can someone come and stab me to death, please? It would be much appreciated.
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
i suffer from:
depression
social anxiety
trichotillomania
anorexia
self harm
severe self loathing
daily (hourly) suicidal thoughts
and i’d say all of these have been keeping me from living my life the way i want to, they cause me to hurt others emotionally, and they’ve all been getting worse. i don’t know if i consider what i’m doing living, but rather merely staying alive; always wishing to drop dead any second.
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