I feel bad for people when I see them smiling wide and pretending to be happy. ‘Cause no one is happy on this planet… Not a single living being. Happiness is an illusion. And the people who recognize that happiness is an illusion, end up killing themselves because no one wants to live after knowing that their goal was just an illusion… By goal I mean, as kids we’re told by our parents that happiness is the best thing to achieve, neither money nor love… Cause when we’re happy blah blah blah… So stop being happy. I don’t want to see your teeth no matter […]
Tag:
Illusion
Well, since the 99% only have the illusion of liberty and not true liberty, please give me the sweet release of a quick and painless death. Not that I want to die; I just don’t want to live this life, as a slave. What a world- the choice of our own life and death is taken away from us. We do not have this thing called “freedom.”
One thing i have come to realize from all my tries is that just because i want something, i am not going to get it. my very wanting stops me, my very wanting defeats me in the end. i slowly slowly get agonized from my lowly state. one day it gets too much and i get a burst of thought where i formulate a whole plan to get out. i start working according to the plan and start getting some success. agony starts ending and i no longer suffer in the same way. i realize this plan could only work when i am already in […]
Every day, I see beautiful people around me. People with straight, pearly white teeth. People with skin as soft as satin and blemish free. They have everything in their hands, and they know it. Even I have to admit that beautiful people have the upper hand in life, because, hell, who doesn’t like looking at a pretty face?
My skin is disgusting compared to theirs. It’s spotted with scars. Trust me, scabies and a skin picking problem do not go well together. Now the scabies are gone, but the scars and scabs have been there for two years.
It’s almost as if God has decided that I […]
I can’t do anything right. It seems like I’m just an illusion to everyone. I told my friends that I cut, and now I don’t have friends. The one person that remains knows that I want to commit suicide on January 1st. But he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’ll even notice I’m gone. I mean, I’m dead already! I hate myself. I’m stupid, fat and have nothing to offer the future. People say that it gets better, but it doesn’t. I’m still waiting for a fix! I can’t even do therapy because I started to lie to her them! The fucking damned shrinks. They […]
I’ve been suicidal for many years and, to an extent, most of my life. Not a manic obvious case of suicide but a quite, calm and patient case. It was supposed to all happen tomorrow, Friday, July 26th 2013 but won’t.
I realized recently that my plan all this time was not the right way to go about things. The plan was to take my friend’s handgun and walk from his place to the nearby hospital. There I would warn the staff about the events that were going to take place, to prepare surgery for my organ donation, and to clear out the area so that […]
does love really exist if so why does it always end and why did they invent the phrase true love because love lost it’s meaning i see old couples that have been together longer then i have been alive but isn’t that just the ability to put up with the other persons b.s. i’m only 16 so i don’t know much about love but i know enough to question it so does love exist or is it an illusion…
I’ve not always concealed my emotions. But ‘Never ever would I be caught in a vulnerable state again’, that was my promise to myself, that is my promise to myself. But I find that my promise is causing an unhealthy balance of sadness and the want and need of escape.  Holding everything inside is causing random explosions of emotion and confusion as to which causes me to question everything. Even the stable facts that I already know the truth about. The world in my eyes quaking and the  voice in my head screaming/ yelling.  I distance myself. Pull my heart out from within and lose […]
we are forever in the moment as 1 this dream a shared illusion  an eternal cycle of being and becoming and non being untill we find what we are looking for without fear our trueself we follow the trend and look outward but we seek in the wrong places 1 does not follow any religion but quoting jesus “the kingdom of heaven is within”  for we are like elastic bands we drop ourselfs into shit make ourselfs feel and experience negative things untill we finally break and release that energy and let go surrender our egos and fly and be free oceans of bliss and […]
You know, there’s something about depression that gets me… the way you are suddenly unable to see things clearly. It makes you ask why everyone stopped caring, and I wish I was told this when I was extremely depressed. Then again, that may have been the reason I learned it for myself…
Those people who you thought cared, and then abandoned you? It’s quite possible they actually did care, at least in the beginning. They saw something in you, and just because they chose to stop seeing it, doesn’t mean it’s not there anymore. It was there for them to see, and even if it’s not […]
just turned 19 ive already am off to a bad start lost my only friend and the weird part is I DONT EVEN CARE. i have no current desire to patch our friendship up. I guess its because then ill have one less thing to worry about, to act
happy with, to feel judged around and to avoid certain sensitive topics with like what ive been up to. which has been shit all. No job no school, few interesting feats and gossip. i am house bound ii am pathetic and lazy. i stay up all nite searching for the answers and […]
Hi all, I am 17 years of age and is so closet to finishing highschool but I just don’t want to live and I don’t know why. I have been trying hard to find a purpose, or a joy, or anything to destory that want of death , for the three years that this lack of feeling appeared but nothing is working anymore. There is nothing eles I can turly change anymore, when you are six feet two, black female and as realistic as me … You become numb to the illusion of dating of marriage-it’s impossible- but that’s not why I amm depressed […]
Hello to anyone who is reading this. I am confused and I feel so alone, even surrounded by loved ones and co-workers. I am a well-educated 24 year old female. I have a science degree and took too many psychology courses to count, but somehow I still can’t seem to get my head sorted out. I’ve never really suffered from depression or suicidal thoughts until a few months ago and lately it’s all I can seem to think about. I’ve lost interest in all my formerly beloved hobbies and I have lost my appetite. I find it so hard to pay attention in grad school […]
I didn’t always live in a nightmare. I didn’t always have conversations with the voice in my head. I wasn’t always watched by disembodied shadows. I didn’t always hear tortured screams and maniacal laughter or my name in empty rooms. I used to be “happyâ€. “Happy†is an illusion created to hide all the pain, madness and fear. It was never real. But I used to experience that bliss, “Ignorance is bliss,†they say. That bliss is gone. I used to smile and laugh all the time. I used to think, or be thoughtful. Before the clouds, and locks. Before the black fog that covers […]
Regardless of what you do in this life you will go to a place after death that is 1000 times more real vibrant and wonderful than our current life. However we are here for a reason. This is not a competition regardless of what you do in this life you will go home to where you were before you were born and where you will be after your time here is done. You can do NO wrong in this life and are loved and cherished forever. You are a miracle of god, and whether you realize it or not, what makes this earthly physical realm […]
I’m unhappy, I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, but I find that I’m easily depressed. The only moment of repose I feel is either when I’m asleep, (due to the fact that I do not dream, it’s just blackness and my worries fade away… until I wake up and find them again) and when I’m with my girlfriend (one of the few reasons I feel I can continue).) I get this uncomfortable, heavy feeling in my chest a lot when I’m sad and it makes me want to tear my heart out. I often am discouraged due to my lousy fast food job, my lack […]
Deafening echoes reverberate off the walls.
Walls painted black by years of neglect.
Walls forming a very small room.
With a floor made of long-lost dreams and aspirations.
No door.
No window.
No light.
Beautiful.
In the center of the room, I sit.
Unable to think clearly.
Why is it so loud?
I only need a moment of peace.
What I wouldn’t give for a moment of peace.
Unable to open my eyes, for fear of what I might see.
And when I finally muster the courage, I wish that I hadn’t.
Filth.
That’s all I see around me.
People living meaningless lives.
Blissfully ignorant.
Secure in their […]
well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed
my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]
Its been over a year since I attempted suicide and I am still struggling with some aspects of my experience. I decided to participate in this project because I think that suicidal people need a voice to speak about their experiences with, especially since there is an onslaught of media messages and peer pressure that distorts perceptions of suicide. Since I came through my attempt, I have decided to talk about it and hope that my story helps others, so here goes.
I’ve been suicidal for years. My Mom said that moodiness and sadness were all part of being a teenager and that it would pass, […]
Where Help is an illusion… LewisGale Medical Center
1900 Electric Road
Salem, VA 24153
(540) 776-4000
If you do not have health insurance, you need to know the following before calling a hotline or asking for help.
You may be sent to a hospital against your will. You are placed in handcuffs and possibly shackles. Your life will continue to get worse. Hospitals are businesses and want lots of money. The stay is about $2000 a day, not including doctor fees. You pay more than the negotiated rates of insurance companies. You want to die. A five […]
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