I hate it, I hate myself

I can’t do anything right. It seems like I’m just an illusion to everyone. I told my friends that I cut, and now I don’t have friends. The one person that remains knows that I want to commit suicide on January 1st. But he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’ll even notice I’m gone. I mean, I’m dead already! I hate myself. I’m stupid, fat and have nothing to offer the future. People say that it gets better, but it doesn’t. I’m still waiting for a fix! I can’t even do therapy because I started to lie to her them! The fucking damned shrinks. They don’t give a goddamn fuck about us. I wish someone would care about me. I have no one. Everyone hates me. And my brother doesn’t even realize I’m there because he’s tripping so hard. My parents don’t even feed me. I am completely done. What more can I do then nothing at all? The world would be better off without a scum bag like me.