It totally sucks balls i have entities and voices trying to guide me through suicide. They suck arse.. The only way im going to do it is when i save up for a car and **s myself. Voices suck just stay away from drugs. Cant wait to end myself i wouldnt wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy i so fukin wouldnt. Almost ade os amigos. Cant reason with them side effects of mental illness and drugs is sleep lots and cant focus. Its almost over rover and expect no one to post because i cant contain this shit cant wait until my time comes
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I cant sleep. I feel more alive in my dreams then i do in real life. When i wake up i sit and cry before putting on a fake smile and going to school. Im a pretty shy kid, i guess you could call me a nerd. got good grades but there not the best and i spend most of my time reading blocking out the real world. Anyways, back to the sleeping problem. I fall asleep around 12 at night and the problem is i cant stay asleep. i dream, wake up and cry, and go back to sleep. most of my nights are […]
ive been having couple of recurring dreams in one theres a strand of hair/string in my mouth when i try pulling it out it is in my throat i continue pulling and can feel that it is wrapped around something in my stomach the dream varies from there sometime i get it out safely sometimes i pull something out with it but every time i can feel it coming up it feels like i might rip my throat/stomach out in another one i have a mouth full of rocks and at first i try spitting them out and although they are coming out my mouth […]
Been depressed for years and i have a bad drink problem thats started affecting my health i have severe liver damage ive got a lot worse feeling low the last few months not because of my health problems im just not even interested in anything anymore in the past ive always talked my self out ended it all for what it would do to my parents but lately ive just thought if i do it and get it over and done with then its done. i cant imagine what im going to put my parents through if i carry on drinking and been honest i […]
Im an angry person at 22 i don’t need a boyfriend or a kid anytime ever till my rage is under control.yet everyday i long for those things or just something I can have and feel this sense of belonging or accomplishment.right now my sisters and brothers are in college but i cant stay a week before dropping out so ive given up.my love life is non existent and i dont know if ill ever have one cause ill eventually pass on if not from suicide then from the damage of failed suicide so thats out.my sister kindly told me over the phone that my […]
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
1. i definitely need more clothes but i fucking hate shopping. its such a pain in the ass not gonna lie
2. life is really exhausting right now and im not really sure why
3. i have this model due tuesday and i have no clue what to do
4. i have the chance to get into a thing but ill have to miss a review session
5. i have a project due in a month but ill probably drop out because whatever i cant do it
6. i have to write this thing for my friend and i havent even started
7. people fucking […]
i hit a weight point today i guess (im not even sure what its called) and i dont know how to feel about it.
i’m a healthy weight now and my BMI is great and all but like i dont know
i guess i found some comfort in being underweight i guess and i know its fucking stupid and pathetic
but like being underweight for me was being skinny
being able to have a small waist and shit but now that im a normal weight im not skinny in my mind anymore and its just such a fucking drag
i want to give up. im not even sure life is worth living anymore. so sick of always feeling like im worthless. sometimes i wonder if anyone would even notice i was gone.
it’s my first post but i don’t know how to put my words in a sentence. I have lots of things that is hurting me from inside n outside. i kept all my problems to myself, Every things bad happens to me i feel like this is the end… i can’t take these are anymor I’m done and, when i talk to my self i say hey, u need to be strog enough to live but, right after that smt worse than last time happen and im just like WHY!?!?! What shoul i do? Im so weak now
i’m scared to do smt wrong ????
(sorry if my […]
well just to start i was adopted young from poland. there was alcohol and abuse, and i was in really bad shape when they got me outta there. i have ptsd from everything. that abuse. now i feel like i can do nothing right. im out of school, doing online classes instead. im severely isolated. i dont go out to exercise and im starting to put on weight. i find myself unnatractive. people have never liked me. idk why. i have a gf right now. she lives in canada. and we’ve never met. its online, but she aint a catfish cuz we have skyed and […]
I think about college. I’ve failed so much. It makes me feel hopeless. My friends will be graduating next year and i think i will be left out. I have 7 failed classes i need to retake and 2 back subjects. I want to graduate with my friends. But its my depression that causes me from failing my classes. I didnt want to wake up for school, when i wake up theres no food so i go to school with empty stomach, college is an hour away from my house, some of my classmates would make fun of what i look like, im not that […]
okay guys sorry for the bad spelling/typing. . . but im in a relationship and ive been going out with him for like 3 weeks now but ive always been suicidal and i dont know if i should brake up with him before i commit suicide or kinda leave it. im very happy with him but i just dont like the idea that i am alive, i know that is the probably the most stupid reason to die but there is a whole back story of why i am depressed and suicidal. i dont want to hurt him yet i still want to die because […]
When i was 16 my life was simple, i had many friends, i was the funny bestfriend, and i dont know anything but happiness. Though my mom works abroad its okay cause im used to it, she’s been in another country for five years. I live with my dad, we are not close so i dont really talk to him that much. I had a boyfriend and we both loved each other so much. But when i started to feel uncontented i started cheating on him over and over again. I would also say hurtful words to him, i made him feel useless. and i […]
Well.. First of all im a 14 year old boy… Im very sad about what im going through right now. I dont wanna feel like a burden to everyone around me.. Some people call me Handsome,Smart,cute etc.. I know their just trying to make me “feel better” but it doesnt even help me… I dont wanna live anymore.. I have friends but if I tell them what im going through right now they will think im losingy mind… I just wanna die 🙁
Dear WORLD,
I hate my life. i want to die. i hate my family. i dont have friends. i wish to leave this world. i dont want to be here anymore. ive had enough time. give my years to someone who wants them. i dont want to hurt myself anymore unless it is soon followed by death. my heart is hollowed out from the world i was born into. take me away to somewhere far away where birds always sing and the […]
Im up late as usual in my room scared of the dark to sleep.
Everyday is such a waste, i do nothing but watch movies. Barely anything gives me pleasure, i feel loke crying im so depressed. I feel like life is just a coincidence and then when we die we die, its over, which makes me really sad and depressed like whats the point of carrying on till death.
Barely anything interests me im scared of people i have 1 friend that scared of talking to. I dont know how to explain it.
i just feel so Sad and lonely right now and i […]
When I breathe, each time i exhale i feel the weight of life pushing down and its hard to keep up..
Maybe I’m just not built as strong as other people.
I don’t know if I am built to feel, or if that’s just another dumb excuse.
Things are.. hard..
the past.. now.. and the future i don’t see.
Is this all really worth the fight.. ?
Is it all worth the suffering.
and now I feel light headed from the numbness.
the numbness in which this lingering. mother. fucking. depression. has brought upon me.
the emotion to feel numb after being stabbed so many, god damn times.
Hi all i may start up a website i want to move on in life. I’m male 31 and a little schizophrenic when i was young my ex mrs said i should have been a model ive put on some weight not heaps though and not too ugly. This aint a dating website but i want kids its hard to work with my illness though im pretty talented. Im still currently married but want to start my life again. And that can change i dont care if you have an illness i can support that. Just dont want to waste my life all alone. Im […]
So i left off with that abusive fuck i think i was on when i was 16. Okay so here goes part two….tried to get away..i started dating this othey guy i dated him for 2 years he treated me really good he helped me alot…i cheated on him though in the beginning of our relationship with the abusive fuck because he threatened to kill himself i talked to him tryed to make sure he was okay. I eventually told my bf what i had done he was really upset i dont blame him he didnt blame me either. I hated myslef though he was […]