No one can know that im going down, not even my boyfriend. All i can think about lately.is killing myself. But I was on top of this tower and i had the oportunity to tip over the edge into oblivion but I dont know what stopped me. It wasnt the barriers, no, i couldve jumped over. It wasnt the many eyes watching as i leant over the edge and felt nothing but a sort of high, no, They wouldnt of mattered. It wasnt my so called best friend talking to the guy she ditched me for, she wouldnt of noticed. I was just scared. Scares […]
Honestly I’m wishing I didn’t have a reason to be on here… but I do. Im a 20 year old college graduate, but I can’t get a job in my field to save my life…. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard. I work at a grocery store stocking shelves…. I didn’t go into debt for this. Not to mention these people make me question the ounce of sanity that I have left. I haven’t touched a blade to my skin in 9 months. That’s saying something. Of course I get my share of bruises and burns from work but its not the same. I […]
Time has gone by and no marked improvement of my depression…what am i gonna do with myself, those people on the phone told me that no depression lasts forever… i think they were lying just to make me stay and watch me suffer a little more. Pills pills pills, after pills, having to look at my family each day and fail them again and again and watching their face as they feel sorry for me…asking the sky for a miracle so i can stand on my own two feet and live on my own and not depend on others… well oh well…. how marvelous. these […]
I have no control of my thoughts.
Why do I feel this way. I know im not crazy.
I feel like I am, But I know im pretty normal because no one else even knows how im feeling right now.
Its like a hidden secret that im not trying to hide
I want help.
I don’t want this. I want to just leave for a while and take care of me. Lock me up if that’s what it takes. I cant do this anymore. I cant fight my own thoughts.
I don’t have the energy or the strength.
Im fighting a losing battle.
How do you fear your own mind?
Your own actions?
Your own feelings?
I have no control
I just feel and think terrible things unwillingly.
Help
I want to scream
I want to Cry
I’m just scared
Everything I do to help me hurts other people.
I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.
I just don’t want to either.
Can anyone hear me.
I feel like im screaming in room filled with people but no one can hear me!
Im right here.
It hurts. I’m scared
I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS
IT ISNT MY CHOICE
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
I’m not crazy !
I’m not a freak
I’m Scared !
Why wont anyone listen?
Why Am I alone ?
Why don’t you care?
I’ve had enough of the constant grief/worry/ruminating thughts/ guilt. mostly guilt. I just have to go through with it and get it over with. I mean once your dead your dead. I think ya know it really is kind of selfish isnt it. id love to make it look ike an accident but i dont think its possible really. Im just gonna jump off somethin and die. once your dead your dead its over. my poor family will have to go through a lot of shit . I tried to spare them but i really dont know what i can do now. I came home […]
Maybe i am confuse but
Maybe im not
but i no
im still bisexuale
Tell me this
why am i like this
i just want this to end
please just please
let me die
oh please
2 years ago I took the medication propecia for 9 days. My life has never been the same. These last two years my life has been a living hell. I have so many problems now. I am impotent, fat, severely depressed, fatigue, muscle loss, brainfog, dry skin, weakness. Also my face looks aged now 10 yrs! I try to get on zoloft but the sexual sides are unbearable. My body barely tolerates psychiatric medicine now. I feel trapped. I really dont want life to be over because im only 25 yrs old. But im getting worse not better. And there are hundreds of other men […]
Cant bear to live anymore. Im in so much pain. There are times where I silently lay n pray for death while im trying to sleep. But then I feel so guilty for feeling that way I feel so selfish. cuz I have a 3 year old daughter n I cant even imagine putting her thru the pain of having a mom that commited suicide I dnt want to emotional lu hurt her or damage her. What do I do
I went to college and did well despite being bipolar. I studied hard. Just to find out i cant get a decent job, or hold it down. Im now a loser. im going to die soon. no help is coming. suicide is my only option. my only option. my only option. i cant live with this shame anymore.
I have an amazing beautifal sweet caring loving girl. She’s psychologically sound and cant understand my plight. As i was doing so good for a while. I had a job making 32 bucks an hour 64 on weekends and i threw it all away for no other reason then i didnt like it and hated the boss. I sometimes wonder if having a girl who’s been where im at would be any different? One who understands me. From experiance. Like we could help each other . My girl is too normal as wierd as that sounds and i feel like shit sayin it
I think ive been lost for a while now. I finally realized how sad and miserable my life has been for at least a good 4 years. Ive been aware that im depressed following other illnesses by my doctor diagnosing me with depression and other mental illnesses, but it barely hit me. Hard. I look around and i look at me, at this 14 year old girl who cant find her face nor her soul anywhere. I look in the mirror and i see a girl who looks so lost, so tired. All kids my age, even younger or older seem to have things under […]
Why is it when people are happy
there are people who are sad?
why is there opposite happy and sad?
Why are there evil in the world?
Why cant i change?
why cant i be
why cant i be
why cant i be…
straight
why do i have to be bi?
why cant i change?
i cant survive… Im nog strong enough
im chrishton
A bisexual chrishton
well please help
please
please…..
-brian
p.s im 13 year old boy
im here for you if you need it, so you can email me liliananicole67@gmail.com im going through a lot right now but if you need help or just want to talk im here for you
im just stuck, stuck with my feelings, stuck with my own fear of killing myself, im too scared to do anything about it yet i cant put a foot foward to better my life, im just stuck… and i cant do nothing about it… here is a little drawing i did that express my state of mind
Im so damn tired , too much suffering too much pain, just reading the posts here makes me wanna die even more, i feel like its never going to end… oh my god what am i going to do, im truly scared
i constantly tell people not to hurt themselves or that their beautiful or worth something but yet i tell myself the complete opposite going through so much crap and yet i give hope to people but cant give it to myself. i could tell someone a million reasons why they shouldn’t kill themselves or hurt themselves but when i try and think of even one reason to stay here i cant. why is that?
since i was a kid iv always felt like i dont belong in this world. i can never do anything right and dont fit in atall. i have no friends and if i do make a friend they always end up betraying me. i made a very close sucide attempt at 13 and was told my life would get better but 10 years on its not i just feel like im waiting to die to end this pain. every one says sucide is wrong, i dont agree if ur unhappy y is it wrong to take ur own life. iv been a self harmer since […]
I dont know what to do with myself….i feel so lost…ive given so much to accomplish something, and it lead me nowhere… now im back to case 1 and i just feel like shit…all i can think about is death because each time i think about doing something else and moving on with my life … i get this horrible anxiety feeling and it paralyze me to the bone… if anyone wants to talk to me on skype…maybe it would help, i dont know how to get out of this mess…planning to stay at my parents house hidden in my bedroom until i die or […]
for years now i’ve been a zombie with one though on my mind
one cold endearing constant thought through the good times and the bad it remains lingering in my mind like the stale smell of smoke in the room around me.
everyday i wake up i wish that i hadn’t and when i go back to sleep i wish never to wake again
a useless ****** like me doesn’t deserve to live anyways i just wish it were easier to do
i know i can get help and i know that things can get better with effort but i also don’t care i dont want things to get […]