23rd is my day now guys.. I won’t bore you anymore with my posts. No one can never get used to such condition I’m in. I wish I can say I’m happy now that I finally figured out how to end it but.. I just wish my mom didn’t come back to see this, even she understands that I can’t live for her, she told me that. I’ve been trying lately to sort of make my mom hate me to make it easier for her but it only works for a little while then I feel like an asshole and automatically talk to her. It’s […]
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just end it
Ive have had suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember but this time I’m really scared they are stronger and worst this time i try to think of another solution but it always ends up at just end it all. Everyone has something against me. They all blame me the people that i value so much are the ones who have hurt me the most i don’t want to tell them anything about my thoughts because i know they will feel sorry or call me even more stuff. I have someone who I’m currently dating i feel like he just stayed with […]
Since Labor Day weekend, I’ve been walking a track circle; on one end is glorious hope and love, on the other is despair, hopelessness, heartbreak. I’ve been researching suicide methods over the weeks, not often, but when I slide down the rabbit hole. Today I began a more in depth search into methods; I have several on my mind. Thinking I will commit to a plan once Thanksgiving is over. Always, once this, once that….I’m so tired. I wish I could just end it once and for all. Life is too overwhelming, too heartbreaking, too tiring. Hope is tiring.
I have often wondered why I wanted to just end it. And I usually end up with the fact that I am lost and my life has no direction. But now, I realized, there’s something more than that.
I realized that I am the complete opposite of myself before (when I was driven, confident, ambitious). Now I am very insecure, confused and just flat-out tired and unmotivated. What makes me want to end it is I could have AVOIDED IT. I USED to be on the other side, the side of optimism, of hope in the future. When I started college, I was among intelligent people, […]
I have been under constant monetary stress since i was 12. I always felt it was my responsibility to be a breadwinner. Every happy moment, every sad moment was suffocated by this false responsibility. now i feel like ii cant live without it. The second my life returns to some amount of safety, security , and normalcy i spiral into a depression. I hurt myself or get hurt by others until I’m back in some impossible situation.
I should just end it now, its apparent that I will only serve to make those around me miserable. It’s apparent im incapable of a normal life. Ive been […]
School is like literally stressing me out and making me feel alone and depressed. I’m not gonna graduate High School, im about a semester behind, my counselor said it already, maybe there is hope for me to graduate, she said, maybe. I’m wasn’t born in the U.S. and I got all the permits from the Dream Act and if I don’t graduate, then they’ll strip them away and throw me back to the country I was born in, although, I was born in Mexico, The U.S. is my home, I was raised here, I came here when I was 4, im 16 now (17 in […]
Im laying here in my bed. Wondering what kind of man i really am? I adore my children. I have a great job. My wife is good to me sometimes. Life shoukd be all dandy but its not!! My wife and i have been together for 7 almost 8 yrs. We fight alot and have grown distant, we differ on alot of things one being raising our kids theres her way(spoiling) then theres my way(stearn). Im blamed for being to hard on them because im the only one who is? Im the only one convinced im not a bad father. I fear my kids hate […]
Just wondering if anyone here has ever been diagnosed with this. I was recently, and I wish I would have gotten help sooner for it, now it may be too late to try to change my life in a meaningful way. Over a year ago I went on some nonsensical manic rant on youtube and got the attention of all kinds of people, then I kept at it via ranting into search engines knowing my system was compromised and anything I wrote was being seen and pissed like the whole world off, not to mention the people i pissed off fanned the flames further. At […]
“You’re only 22, suicide is not the answer. Tons of life left ahead.”
Its easy for someone to say when they can’t fully understand what your going through, how you feel, or how you think. The suffering that goes on inside consistently. Its easy for people to say that suicide is the easy and selfish way out when they just don’t understand. Does it hurt to think about how much you would be putting your friends and family through when you decide to end your own life? Of course, but they can never truly get the pain and suffering that goes on internally.
I’m fortunate enough to […]
Far away from facebook , far away from family , far away from people , far away from reality .. I sit there and cry , with every tear drop I hate him andI hate myself even more .. perhaps because I once gave someone the complete power to destroy me with just words :s
and once he had the chance , he did it .. perhaps I’d cut myself later , or maybe I’ll just end it all … but would that change a thing ? no it won’t .. the pain would only follow me into the other life , and while I keep […]
scarsI don’t know what to do anymore.. I battle with severe anxiety, depression, insomnia and anger issues.I try my hardest to be what they want me to be.. the perfect daughter. Have the perfect grades, I was working 2 jobs but I just can’t cope any more. I’m lost. Dropped out of school at 15. Quit one job. Have barely any shifts at the other one. I blow up at everyone over everything. I can’t help myself .I cry everynight trying to think of new ways to be perfect… I tried cutting… It just wasn’t my thing so I started burning myself. The pain […]
I wonder how many of you on here actually went through with it, part of me doesn’t want to, the thought, the idea of just not existing, used to haunt me. But maybe it’s because part of me always knew I wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. I was a mistake, and not just to my parents, but to the universe. I have nothing to offer except making other peoples lives as miserable as mine. Every time I’ve ever tried, at anything, I have failed. And those closest to me laugh about it. They laugh when I hurt, that has to mean something, […]
“I am a poor, wayfaring stranger
Traveling through this world alone
And there’s no sickness, toil or danger
In that bright land to which I go”
Is it time? Is my time to head to that land finally here? I found out tonight that everyone that I thought was my friend thinks I’m a “thot.” I don’t blame them. When I broke up with the guy I was seeing here, that same night I hooked up with someone else. A few nights later, I got drunk and hooked up with someone else. Who wouldn’t think I’m a slut? I guess they’re right. The realization that everyone […]
So feed up with life right now, I’m tempted to just end it all but since nothing seems to be working for me right now, it probably wouldn’t work anyways! 🙁
i am nothing. every since my best friend Danny died my life has become less than shit. he was the person i could talk to when i had no one else who i could. my family hates me and its like no matter what i do i can never make them happy more or less me. i miss him so much and it seem like everyday i have to find a reason to stay on this earth. ive tried so many times to die and i come so close every time but someone ends up saving me somehow. that doesnt mean they love me. i […]
I have felt this way for a week now. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I have been depressed for 5 plus years. The reason is I have a very sick parent and they are getting worse. But. Then this girl came into my life and everything finally seemed to go up for me. I was happy again. I never thought I would feel that way again. I had someone for the first time in my life I could trust and talk to about everything. I could be myself around her and even show my real me and cry. She’s my everything and […]
it’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. its not a mental thing– its a physical thing. it is physically hard to open your mouth and talk. the words come out like your retarded and you just cant do anything about it. we were born to die, right? so i might as well just end it now… its crazy how this world can be so confusing. i try to be someone im not so people love me… i fake a smile so people dont question me. i pretend that it doesnt hurt but in reality im in so much pain its crazy. […]
Why don’t people want me to just end it. They call me selfish (and there right) or cry, when I think suicidally, or act on those thoughts, but why am I wanted hear on the first place I make all of there lives harder, all I do is hold people back, according to my beliefs, after death there is less than nothing your dead, there is no mire contious you, no heaven, no hell, just gone. And, that seems like an escape to me, everyone always says death is painfull, and I’m shure it is, when I almoast diced from ODing on PAIN MEDS of […]
i wish i could say what i want to say…  i wish this post was what i originally thought id post here….  i just feel no will to do anything….  i feel depressed but not in the way it usually was….  im so anxious, so stressed….  and i dont have the crutches i normally used….  perhaps it was a mistake to move, even tho this should be better for me, i think…  i feel like i cant do this anymore….  i feel like things will never get better and never be ok….  which is different for me because i used to think things like i […]
It’s my fault, I made him mad.
So he does it, again and again.
No clues or evidence to be found.
Scared and lost, not knowing childhood.
Don’t move, don’t make a sound.
If he finds me i’ll be never leave this place.
Stuck here for eternity, crying and begging-
No more!
Please, not again! I’m sorry that I did something wrong.
Again
That smell, the pain and the guilt.
The words: the things he says
so cold and cruel
Why can’t he just end it already?
I don’t wanna be here anymore
Can’t you see my brokenness in my eyes?
The jagged stitching on […]