How paranoid can one be? I just spent 15mins talking to a guy I thought stole my laptop in an effort to correctly identify him in a line-up. He didn’t steal it.
I forgot to take my water with me. Sigh now I think he poisoned it to get me to pass out for him to come steal it.
Feels like the world is against me today.
Anyone out there having trouble living your life also?
Fuck, I just want to give up everything and die.
I’m tired of explaining everything to everyone about why I have erratic moods, why I need help, why I’m not as normal as everybody fucking thinks. I’m so miserable living my life. I basically lay down in bed, thinking of all things I have to do, shouldn’t forget to do… but I just can’t get up. I wake up so late in the afternoon that my day is halfway gone. I eat, use the bathroom, then go back to my room. In my room, I’m on my laptop, on […]
i feel like im going in inase i keep on talking to myself and im getting crept out by my self. im trying so hard to be HAPPY again for the first time in a really long time but its so hard. so my mom made me practice a 10 sencond part for 10 minutes because SHE didnt thinkit was good enough and tonight i was doing a project on her laptop adn she keept on bugging in adn tellling me what to do!!!! i am so close to a breakdown right now i literally have tears in my eyes while im writing this. i […]
I have been addicted to drugs for half of my 30 years on this earth…. I thought if I got married and had some children that it would fill the hole in my heart.  I was able to stop using for a little while, but the desire to get high never goes away. I started using again and eventually my wife took my kids and filled a PFA to keep me away from them. I have never hurt her or the kids, but now I am looked at like a wife-beat. I despise those people who hit women, and that’s what hurts the most…
I do not want my kids to look at their junkie dad […]
Note: I am home now, I wrote the following earlier this evening.
—
I am glad I did this test run. I encountered a few issues. Technology related issues. I had hoped to make this post on site, but I think I have broken my phone. It won’t tether to my laptop. :\ I will have to get that fixed. Then, there’s the little issue of very sketchy mobile coverage. I am basically in a hole in the ground.
I am writing this on site and saving it to upload when I get home. I am listening to my final mix tape. The first track, “The Other […]
down by the river, completely soaked. I woke up to the cold water on my back. looking up  from the bank of the river i saw two ropes on a tree and one cut by my feet. I ran my ass back to my house, covered about a mile in  6 minutes. I go in my room and i see my laptop with nothing but SP open, I have no idea what happened…I did take 500x salvia which was kinda a dumb ass mistake but im so clueless right now.
This is long and scattered and weird, but if I don’t let everything out on here I’m gonna let it out on my skin, so… read, or don’t..
Starting in January this year, things have been getting easier. Near the end of school and beginning of summer break, life was great. Better than it’s been in years. Always hanging with my girlfriend, we stopped fighting ever… i was sometimes depressed but always ok! It was great, it was… unbelievable.
When I realized how unbelievably easier my life had been to tolorate recently, I started to think of the future. Things can’t be this easy forever. Eventually I’m gonna have hard shit […]
I rarely go to sleep before 2 AM most nights. I usually just read, or write, or use my laptop until I get so exhausted I go straight to sleep when I let myself. I do this because otherwise, I lie awake in bed for hours and hours thinking dark, sad, terrifying thoughts and everything gets worse. And I can’t tell my parents that that’s the reason I’m always so exhausted in the mornings, because they tell me to just go to bed earlier, but they don’t get that the longer I lie in silence, the more time I have to think. And thinking too […]
Hey guys, sorry I haven’t posted. I only have the laptop during the week I’ll post tomorrow. If you need me my email is jacobj234@Gmail.com and my cell is 850-632-0697
My parents dont give a shit about me, or how I feel about anything. Only that I get good grades. If i get any less than a A they scream and shout at me and take away the only things I enjoy-My xbox, and laptop. I only enjoy these, because when I play games I can escape to another world. I have tried to kill myself three times already… One time one of my parents saw me trying and didnt even bat an eyelid. They couldnt have cared less. The only people I care about in the world are my friends.. And even they are […]
I remember when I was a little girl - watching Nickalodean, eating junk food and playing video games. Sad and alone because the kids at school bullied me, hated me, and my parents thought I was just being a drama queen when I told them.
Now, here I am. I just finished my Freshman year of high school.
The bullying’s stopped a lot. By no means am I popular, I’m shy and antisocial, but I have a few real friends now who back me up.
But now I smoke pot. I cut myself and am suicidal. I’m secretly bi-sexual and dating my best friend, who’s also suicidal. My dad hates […]
That’s a quote from one of my all time favourite novels, Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. I have plans to get the book’s mantra, ‘so it goes’, tattooed somewhere on my body.
Which, is kind of at odds with posting on a suicide website, isn’t it?
I don’t actually know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m depressed – I’ve never gone to a doctor or a counseller. I think about suicide on a near-daily basis; not in some abstract way, but with regards to methodologies, and having a suicide note on my laptop which I regularly update to correspond with the messages I want […]
A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm […]
To begin, I am fairly misanthropic and disenfranchised due to humanity’s impact on nature and the wildlife that inhabit (or did inhabit in many cases) this once beautiful planet, Â how society is in general, whether it be the intolerance and hate that monotheistic religions have spread for generations (as well as how religious teachings dominate our political and legal systems despite all of the blatant problems that arise from it), the general lack of concern for our irreversible impacts, our horrible justice systems, our spiraling out of control dependency on technology, etc, etc…. but I also share the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s views on misanthropy […]
i did not die, which I assume a few of you thought since I never ended up getting back on this site until now. Â I was deceived and betrayed.
To make a long story short, I called jackie’s house, she told me she wanted to be best friends with me and that she truly cared about me. Â My parents and jackie’s parents both told me that nothing bad was going to happen, that everything was going to get fixed, that me and jackie would get to be friends again. Â They said the police would not be waiting for me, that I was not going to be […]
i told my mum earlier that i wanted her to die, it was a bit irrational an obviously i didnt mean it. she took my laptop away from me, for which i already didnt have the internet on. i flipped out, i dont know why. i just went crazy and started to cry. i cant live without the freaking thing!! i’d have to sit in my room and actually live my life. and for years the internet has become something that helps me escape from my “life”.
Â
she rubbed it in though. “you dont know what its like to have someone that close to you die” […]
i dont have many friends, i have a few friends that i talk to at school but i cant really rely on them, theirs only 2 friend in my life that i can acctually talk to about things and trust they wont tell any one, but i only see one of them at school and the other 1 dont see i just talk to her on msn now and again but thats it and her life is fucked up her step dad kicked her out theirs no room at her mums so she’s staying at her sisters but her sister only lets her stay their if she luks […]
Please log in to report posts