I’ve been laying on a bed for hours contemplating shooting myself in the head. I had a beautiful life in which I was attending school, a beautiful wife, and teaching music my passion. Now I’ve graduated, I still kinda teach but my best friend since high school doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve done so much to hurt her and I can’t ever tell her how I feel. She wants us to be divorced now so she isn’t reminded of me. I don’t blame her but this is really baring down on me. I’ve cried for two months now about every other night and I want […]
Tag:
last
Life is short but death last forever!
But it seems like it takes forever to die.
Most of you probably already forgot me. Â I got kicked off here a while back. Â Excuse me, my “posting” priviledges were removed. Â I only came back to post a link.
A nice young lady from Maine saw my last post here with the admin and kindly asked me to come administrate on her page. Â We are going to launch a web page later on.
If anyone here wants to come join the party, we will make your daily life a little brighter.
This is for self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts.
Chris (healing in his wings)
https://m.facebook.com/mainesuicideawareness?ref=stream&soft=jewel%3D2
I have struggled with addiction,depression,low self esteem,family issues,loss,grief etc for the better part of my life.I have attempted to take my life a few times,most times not truly wanting to die,was more of a cry for help.A year or so ago my best friend commited suicide,it was a very hard thing to deal with,it hurt very much.I always think of the way that he did it,i think that is how i want to go as well.Last year on x mas eve,i received some news that was rather bothersome to me,it hurt me deeply.I turned to alcohol,for the most part ive been clean for 10 years,the […]
havent been on here since last year. I’ve been to hell and back
i want people to know they can email me if they need someone to talk to or advice.
naomirogers1996@yahoo.co.uk
xo
I almost did it last night. I ALMOST took my own life. I can’t even remember when these thoughts started to take over my life. I feel like it has seriously been forever that I’ve wanted to kill myself. Every time the littlest thing would upset me I would automatically turn to suicide. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of the shit I pulled last night. I would never do it for attention; I’m just emotionally and physically drained. I feel even worse about myself because I know my friends were worried. I don’t know exactly what set me off this time, maybe it was just bad […]
last night at 4 am i wake up -without any feeling of the usual painful anxious or guilt in my heart ..i had just the usual insane thoughts on my head but without any related feelings nothing special has happened yesterday ,my big problem still there ,and i was not drunk … maybe cause i almost have the exit way in my hand.. anyway it is nice losing the connection between my thoughts andy feelings
Hey all,
It’s 10 days since I decided to follow a plan in order to give myself a last chance to become a better man and find meaning in life (http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/ive-got-my-plan/). Unfortunately each day is just more difficult.
I’m on the right path with most of my goals, I’m seeing friends (even those I hadn’t seen for years), I’m visiting my family and spending time with them, I’m preparing a trip to a place I wanted to visit, I keep visiting my therapist (didn’t find the guts to tell him about my thoughts). I go out and I wear my mask, people think that I’m ok while […]
I cant stand the depressions i keep getting.im on all these fancy medications and ive had 6 major depressions in the last year.sometimes i loose hope and just want to hide but i cant and its painful just to breath.does anyone else feel this way?
Floating on a cloud
Drifting away into the blue sky
Sleeping the days away
I’m not good with goodbyes
Feeling numb, nervous
This isn’t a typical day
Falling into deep sleep
At least I know I’m okay
Looking far into the distance
I can see storm clouds appear
I shiver as the cold bites my nose
I will be okay, there’s nothing to fear
Opening my eyes
I’m sheltered by the sun
Thoughts race through my vacant mind
No need to run
Passing a mountain
I stare into the sea
Watching this last sunset
I float away, so let me be…
I’ve experimented with a lot of substances in my life. Over the course of probably like 7ish years I’ve tried Psychedelics (LSD, 2CE, DMT – my FAVORITE DRUG), Cocaine, Benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, Ativan), Stimulants (Amphetamines, Adderall, Focalin, Methylphenidate, Vyvanse), marijuana, alcohol, and the best of the best: opiates (OxyContin, heroin, hydrocoone, oxycodone, oxymorphone, hydromorphone, morphine, methadone, suboxone, subutex, etc.) – you get the point. For the most part I’ve been responsible with drug usage. Things never got out of hand and addiction was a foreign concept to me. But when shit hit the fan a few years ago, I lost all […]
Heaven has called yet another angel
I can’t believe you are gone, but you are loved. You were always happy with such a beautiful and angelic smile. You had the most amazing personality and I will remember all of the hugs.
Rest in peace
Rebecca Larson
You were a angel on earth but now you’ve earned your wings <3
I feel like I’m about to break up, it’s just too much in my head. I wanna die and leave, fast. Please.
I’ve been away from SP for a long time and I deleted all my posts the last time I was around a long time ago and decided to be strong and not think about sucide. I’ve been strong and managed to stay strong although life throws increasingly amounts of shit at me. Last month before the new year I went out with my old time friends, yes, I had even managed to talk again to my friends and make new ones. Things were hooking […]
I can feel myself being pulled under,
Deep into the depths of the ocean
I look up; I can see the dim sunlight underneath the water
The last glimpse of sunlight I’ll ever see
I use my hands to claw on to whatever I can find
But to no avail, they splash through the murky sea
I think of all the things I’ve done
The good and the bad
And how they would reflect me in my passing
Like the reflections of the sky in the ocean
Through the light and the darkness
Through the sun and the storms
My life was merely just a chapter in a book
And my chapter would be passed over for more
For […]
i feel it creeping up on me.
the darkness i can never see.
taking me away,
suffocating me.
i can barely breathe.
I can hear it shouting threats.
wishing me a horrid death.
the demons will invade,
it’s already too late.
i cannot be saved.
it’s over!
I am falling fast.
this will be my last.
no use saving me,
these cuts are way too deep.
a necklace made of rope,
a bracelet made of blood,
water mixed arcenic.
a kiss from a gun.
nothing can compare,
just kick away the chair.
and wait to fade away,
down your drink of death,
and die so peacefully.
Don’t […]
Lyrics to song I pretty much jus stayed up all night writing..
Oh and uh.. *All Rights Reserved*? haha.
* Rapped
When was the last time you breathed?
I mean honestly, fully, whole heartedly took a breath?
When was the last time you took a stand?
I mean verbally, viciously, fought for something you believed?
When was the last time you fell in love?
Fell so hard, you found yourself unwilling to even get up?
When was the last time you truly cared?
Thought about somebody else, not the person in the mirror
Self-centered, self-ish, but sophisicated
We pride ourselves in all the wars and the domination
But what’s the point in killing other beings created
Like ourselves? We’re just […]
Curled tightly in its iron womb
Forthcoming almost certain doom
an infant bird respires last
wretched secrets mere and vast
“To die!” it shrills “I beg you please
Take my breath and let me cease”
A chilly, silent, cheerless air
secreted by this bird’s despair
Restrained by ageless ferric bars
adorned in grisly, gaping scars
from strife and discord with its cage
and self-inflicted fiendish rage
Withered and replete of wrath
its essence walks a lonely path
Phantoms, voices beckon so
and warn of hells it dares to go
what happened to this bird I know
a tale of endless pain and woe
left in its cage to rot […]
When I think about delivering myself there with courage, deliberation and beauty, I realize that it was destiny all along. To be alone and to want to die. That’s my path. And I can’t run from that. With each passing day, I get closer and closer. I just need to finish some of the last steps and then I can go. I can hardly wait for the day.
A chain made of halos from fallen angels binds me to the darkness
An existence subdued by the malignance that stalks from within
The pain envelops me, wringing out these last few drops of hope
Unspoken torment feasts on the binding of my soul
Shadows lurking in the corners of my mind, undetected, waiting for my weakest moment
The assault, like a flame to paper, is instant and unforgiving
That bright flicker soon gives way to the smoking ash of defeat
The remnants of my rumination scatter in the wind
The ghost of a breath, […]
Older Posts