I lost my dear sweet son this morning. His body gave out on him sometime during the night. He was depressed, but lately seemed to be doing a bit better. He’d laugh, send me a silly text. Just little things…little things that mean even more to me on this awful day than they did just yesterday. We won’t know for a while what caused his death, but I wanted to express to all out on this website the pain that my baby’s dealth has caused so many. He was only 23, and such a bright, funny guy. He had a heart of gold; which was probably one thing that made life harder […]
Tag:
Laugh
I’ve felt a change in my emotions lately
A realization
Or
Maybe I’m just remembering.
Coming down from my dillusion
Back into reality.
But more lucid this time around.
Bitterness does not form
Yet happiness is still ages away
Basically a myth now.
These moments when every emotion
Has disappeared completely by reaching its peak
The most anyone could ever feel
Any emotion
Name one.
I can.
Rage.
Enraged.
The feeling of wanting to create a homicidal storm
Or at least stick nails into my own veins
Either way there will be blood
Don’t talk to me for a while
Don’t look at me without […]
I’m the type of person who is happy go lucky… So to speak. I’ve been blessed with the gift of making others laugh… It feels good, mostly. The problem with having that trait is people always expect you to make them laugh… You can never be serious, the biggest problem I’m facing as of late… People think I’m dumb… That hurts. I give so many people my time and try to make them feel good for the time they’re around me… And I’m dumb… No one realises that I’m actually pretty smart, because the second I’m not making people laugh I am tuned out. No […]
im only 11 and ive already had alot of suiside thoughts i feel useless to the world what the point of this everyone judges me and picks on me. resently my best friends mom died of colen cancer (RIP cythea curro) that brought me down i know if i comite suiside my bff will turn to it 2. im afraid of death, i never try and cut myself. my older brother is the worst, he tells me ill die a vergin he tells me ,”go to hell” “no one cares 4 u” he doesnt help. and just about a month ago my very 1st boyfriend […]
Before, I tried suicide. Got locked up in a loony bin for a while. It’s never left my mind. I want it—even now. As we speak. I need it. But more than anything right now, I just want to talk to somebody. I don’t know. Here’s something I thought was the last thing I would ever write; guess I was wrong.
Throughout all the noise,
Withstanding all distraction.
The first form of a laugh,
Starting in your throat.
The calm overwhelms,
Takes Control;
Pats your hand, Strokes your hair.
Fatal Reassurance .
What you once feared most ,
Now your closest friend.
A smile on your […]
Fat.Ugly.Loser.That’s all I hear from people when they think I can’t hear them and some people will say it right to my face.I want to say something but I’m only the fat girl in the corner while her own friends laugh at her.Everyone is surprised how I’m friends with the popEven at home it’s bad everyone always compliments my family and everyone’s always surprised I’m related to them.The family of beautiful swans and I’m the ugly duckling everyone seems to liek whispering about how fat and ugly I am as if I don’t already know that.Is life really worth it when your a  screw up?
I can’t take my life anymore,I feel like I can’t talk to anyone.When I’m with my ‘friends’ no one can see behind my fake smile and laugh they never think twice about me I’m just the one in the back that nobody cares about.When I’m with my sister she blackmails me and screams at me,my mom yells at me too and is always fighting with my dad,and my dad always ignores me and leaves the house every time he argues with my mom.I can’t decide what’s worse school or home nobody cares in either place and I feel like I’m at the end of my rope because nobody seems […]
I don’t really feel my emotions any more. I know that they’re there, but my mind just doesn’t seem to process them the way that it should. For example, when I watch the news, and there’s a story about somebody that was murdered, I realise that I should feel something. I should feel anger toward the person that commited the murder. I should feel pity for the victim and his/her loved ones. But I don’t feel anything. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if I’m hanging out with friends, if something happens that makes everyone laugh, I am always the last to join in, […]
Ive been abused as a child…
Ive lost loved ones..family & friends… Ive been divorced twice by the same man & I have no friends cause they just want to laugh at you & tell you your just crazy… I have a gun… […]
My background:
I had started wondering about death and would habitually wish for death and say ‘never mind’ 3 times afterward. This started when I was around 10, until one day I stopped saying ‘never mind’ and decided to see what would happen.
My life has been met with intense anger, anger that caused me to once whip my mother with a PC controller wire after I smashed it off the banister when I was around 16.
I started cutting myself on Valentine’s Day 2007, senior year. I started under the notion that everyone would leave me once we graduated. They all did except one. My last friend […]
My birthday is at the end of the week. I dont even want to make it. I am trying like hell to make it to my vacation in 2 months,and end it then,but this week is hard. My BF keeps leaving and spending all of his free time away from me.He refers to spending time with me as “sacrificing.” He now threatens to move away b/c he doesnt want to listen to me explaining how bad I feel,refering to the end anymore. I wonder if my vacation is worth it. Wouldnt it be easier to just end it and not have to face another birthday […]
Hey,
I do not know what to say really. I’ve been on the brink of suicide for quite a while I am very anxious so you may get confused while reading. I have been on this site since last year, and I am depressed. I have little energy to live. Now do me one favor. Please do not write comments such as “oh, everything will be better, just wait and see.” If you want to comment, please in form of advice, I am sick of sympathy. So I have lived in an Arab country my entire life. Everything started in kindergarten. I was in a German kindergarten, and I use to bully […]
Hi….I dont know may be whatever i am saying looks so stupid but i want to say.
After i lost my mom, the same month i met a girl on internet. Her Name is Muyasar. She was so beautiful and preety, Specially her eyes like a sweet cute angel. No one want to see tear in her eyes. As i start to talk i get know her heart is already broked. i was so confused which person who can make her heart break. She told how her bf not trusting her and always use bad words for her. I tried to make her understand if a guy […]
one day for sure. i will. i will die at my own hands. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick when we want to die? I think we should. Its our owN life not someone elses. We wouldn’t be harming anyone. Only temporarily. I want to die so bad sometimes. I hate when people(teachers mostly for me) mention suicide and laugh about it and stuff. I Hate that. They shouldn’t be saying things that can hurt someone emotionally. I get affected by people who say certain things. Maybe its just because I have the desire to die and I’d actually consider myself suicidal. But I […]
Well I get high everyday !!!. I’m only 13 so I should stop. Well my self-esteem is really low. Alot of people calls me pretty but i just don’t see it. The sexual abuse I went through really tore me down completely!!! Well when i get high , that’s when i be having sex but I be telling myself im going to quit doing the stuff  im doing but when I smoke I feel happy , laugh more, and feel more prettier. Well everyone please give me advice
7pm on Jan 2, 2012.
I’m alone, in my room – lights off. Just me, and the music I’m listening to. This is the first time I’ve felt.. alone in a long time. I thought I had gotten use to the feeling. But no, apparently not. My Grandpa is in his room – right across the hall.. yet it feels like miles between us. I’m scared. Of my mind; the thoughts swirling around in the chaos.
To be honest, my life isn’t horrid.
I’ve thought about killing myself multiple times. I cut – but nothing serious. I don’t know if I want to die.. or just […]
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]
I wake up every morning and think please God not this again. Put on a fake smile, laugh and pretend. Pain on the inside, but no one can see. Like being stranded on an island longing to be free. Don’t know how much longer I can bear this weight. Must think of something before its too late. The only thing keeping me alive is fear. The passing of each day and the falling of each tear. I don’t know how much longer until it will all end. But for now I’ll continue to pretend.
1. A man lived by the sewer
And by the sewer he died,
And at the coroners inquest
They called it Sewer-side
2. Captain John Suez was a famous soldier in Afghanistan. He was an expert shot, a great leader and fantastic motivator of his men. He was so famous that he was recognized by the locals and the enemy alike.
One day, Suez had 2 Taliban snippers pinned down behind a wall. One of them said, “Lets make a run a run for it.†The other shook his head and said,†No way! That’s Suez.Hide.â€
3. Joey and Mary lived in a little old […]
It will never be ok…