I’ve been considering dying for awhile now like 8 months. Since I got let go by a girl that made it seem like it would work. I’m still hung up on it, i was told I did nothing wrong blah blah. But I never stopped believing or even, I never had let go of it. For months of self sabotage and begging and pleading respectfully. I got nothing but a “I don’t care, it was nothing” to her. Although everything to me. I self sabotaged, cried and sought out everything. Really the ppl of sp is all that ever helped. But I lived with it […]
Tag:
let go
I know there’s nothing you can do, but I can’t be left alone, my mind is set on self distruct and I’m slowly hindering my body, constant hope constant fall when will she learn, never I supose, will there be an end were I just give up and surrender, or let go of my controls cause I always black out I always choose the wrong answer I just want to know I just want to belive in myself. Today I already made a mistake but I’ll try again. Hopefully this try will finally be Ill do.
Its what I want to do. I feel like its what I have to do and what I need to do. But, is it what I should do?
I feel trapped.
I just want to let go.
Maybe it would be best if I didn’t.
I am trapped.
If i could erase all my flaws i would…not to be perfect but to be whatever they wanted me to be. I would fix my shattered heart. And i would erase my memory forget all the pain that been stomped into it.
I would let go all the hatred
I would smile just to make someone smile
I don’t know how to resolve the conflict within myself. I’ve been trying for so long to figure out a compromise between the different elements of my mind. But there isn’t one. And I don’t think I can let go of either of them.
One is entirely superficial. All it wants is instant, unrestricted gratification. It doesn’t care about consequences, or the limitations of reality. It will accept no denial. Giving in to it brings temporary elation, but once satisfied it fades into the background, leaving only nagging discontent. Denying it removes any feelings of satisfaction in anything, leaving only despair.
The other is appalled by the […]
I leveled out some.. I do live with regret and memories. And I was really hard on myself.. I don’t know why it took so long. Maybe I just didn’t want to let go of the best thing that ever happened to me. I dont want to still… But, I thank you all!! On here for your help and support. I think of her less, I still feel sorry for myself. But everyone on here and out in the world was right. I’m thankful and sad.
Thought I was feeling better and maybe I am. But think its time to start coming up with a plan. Because I don’t want another or anything else for that matter in my life anymore. I still feel empty and sad, but I do things. I’m not in bed anymore. I try to move on and see other people, but don’t want to anymore. I fell in love with that girl and thought it was real between the both of us, but it was just me. I relized I fooled myself again or whatever. But also feel ready to go. Lived the best I could […]
Hey guys. I realised something. I am young, so young. I am going to turn 20 on the 26th december. I have decided to let go all of my theories of atheism/creation and blah blah and do what makes me feel alive- Boxing and gym. I am also good looking an have nice muscles lel. I hope you find peace in this life, I am going to find it by boxing and gym and high protein diet like I use to do, I also recommend sport for you too. By making sport and having a well based diet you can overcome any problem . I […]
I have Aspergers syndrome.
I am a girl. Its not that visible. I am supposed to be very high functioning. The more I realize my struggles and my differences in contrast to other people.
I am pretty much down.
I just cant navigate through relationships. I cant let go of people. I still love somebody whom I loved five years ago, who moved, who I dont see anymore…etc. I make people mad. I make fuss of things that arent important. For normal people. I have just ruined another relationship of mine, because I was too pushy, too needy. I just dont seem to do anything right. Even weird […]
I’m almost 17 now. Yay for me, I guess. The only thing I can possibly feel proud about is the fact that I’ve made it this far, because honestly I didn’t think I would reach 17. Or maybe I did, but I didn’t want to; I’m too coward to let go off everything.
Hooray for another year in which I accomplished absolutely nothing worthy.
Hooray for another year of constant failures and hollow feelings.
Hooray for another year in which I lost more people whom I loved.
Hooray for me…
Sometimes it is hard to let go. I was in this dumb relationship once. I loved him so much that i could let go everything for him. We were doing great and people thought we looked cute together (now the idea of us being cute together sucks). This was that kind of relationship where there was no fighting but love was directly proportional to the passing days. But destiny is one big mother fucker! Very soon we weren’t doing great. He stopped talking to me and after a while even i did and very soon under some stupid circumstances we broke up (an initiative taken […]
I can’t handle or control my emotions. My emotions fluctuate and change on a dime. Sometimes it’s stays that way for several hours or days, and other times it’s minute by minute.
I’ve been feeling really suicidal lately, and I’ve almost broke down several times at work. And as a guy, the thought of showing my emotions (crying etc) in front of other men is never a good thing. So I constantly have to regain my composure. I go from wanting to just cry, to being angry, to being filled with rage. And when I’m filled with rage, it’s explosive anger. I cussed out a man […]
It gets a little easier to let go
I gotta stop being afraid to just step into the fray. Just completely let go.
Even if i fail the pain from the mistake would feel incredibly real. For once.
As nov. 2nd approaches i cant help but think of my recently passed cousin and how he helped me out so much. Was so free. I think about how he was in a car accident and how i want to experience it.
I know its fucked up thinking but what else is new..
Ah well this is just good venting. I’ll be making an hour trip back home tomorrow […]
I’ve become so familiar with it and it’s so on and off I have called my depression Sebastian. I have been following this site for a long time now and have recently realised that it is just another anchor I must set myself free of if I have any hope of recovery.
To anyone who decided to pay attention to this I thank you and bid you farewell.
– whathaveIdone
The other day I found myself staring at the ocean.. Waves coming in and breaking over my feet and then going back out again. This process was constant.. never ending. I found myself thinking about the vastness of the ocean and how i could easily get lost out there. There was something so majestic and beautiful about the feeling of the water crashing around my ankles and the feeling of the coarse rocky sand moving beneath my feet. I could taste the salt in the air and I could feel the humidity sticking to my skin.
And yet, in these simply beautiful, […]
I was just called stupid by my own husband that decided I’m holding him back and that me cutting myself was and is a stupid way to let go of my pain. But what does he know he doesn’t know how much depression hurts and how bad of a toll it takes on people. Anyways he’s deciding that being with me is to much of a problem so as of now I have nothing to look forward to waking up to every day anymore. At least this feeling of hating myself and feeling like a pathetic loser is going to be over soon.
“This is the ring you’ve always wanted. It took quite some time, but I got it for you now. Do you like it?”
by hogpotter
written by hogpotter
Addendum of Shone Lexter
“Angela cried again. The beads of tears flowing down her cheeks. She didn’t let out a single sound. Her tears, I dislike the most. Then all over again, I found my reason to live. I found a reason to fight. I’ll have to learn to let go of everything else and just focus on Angela. I need to make that sad soul happy… To bring laughter to her lips… To give her strength in every breath she takes. I have to stop being selfless. I need to start fighting for my priority, and not let even time and space stop me… No […]
I keep getting these thoughts to just end it.. I don’t feel like I should be here at all. All of these thoughts are fucking me up & I feel like I’m just drowning. I want them to go away, but they never do. I’ve tried to be happy; I watch JackSepticEye as a source of release, you know? And during those time periods, I feel ..happy, to an extent. But after those, when I’m just sitting alone, I get these thoughts: “Is it even worth it?” “No one actually cares, you know” “You’re just a piece of shit.” “Just try taking the pills one […]
I wish I could hear him say:
‘I’m with (her) and happy.
You’re forgiven for being a ****.
I’ve changed.
I’m alive. Are you?’
If he’d changed things, I could let go.
If I didn’t think of him, the depression wouldn’t be as painful – but that’s what’s bringing me back here. Remembering feeds the depression each time it gets worse. Before that, it was getting easier.
I’m getting more suicidal. I can’t and won’t kill myself, so I just have to try to accept it and work around it.
I can’t sleep again. I think I’m getting ill. I’m too hot and cold.
I crashed again today and came […]
In the past week I have lost almost everyone…everything. For a while, weeks, months, years maybe, I’ve been wanting to escape. Escape it all…all at once. The pain. The fear. The loss. The confusion. The depression. Everything. Gone. But how? There’s so much to leave behind but so much to let go. How do you grow the courage to make your decision?