I was just called stupid by my own husband that decided I’m holding him back and that me cutting myself was and is a stupid way to let go of my pain. But what does he know he doesn’t know how much depression hurts and how bad of a toll it takes on people. Anyways he’s deciding that being with me is to much of a problem so as of now I have nothing to look forward to waking up to every day anymore. At least this feeling of hating myself and feeling like a pathetic loser is going to be over soon.
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Please don’t hurt yourself. You aren’t pathetic nor are you stupid. The only thing pathetic or stupid is the way your husband is treating you. While he demeans and insults you, it doesn’t make your pain less valid. It doesn’t make you less important.
Don’t let someone like him make you feel so worthless that you feel you are a pathetic loser. Don’t let him make you feel like a burden. Please, talk to us. Tell us why you are in such pain. Tell us what is troubling you. You will find people here who won’t feel like you are holding them back. We all struggle and many of us cut. We know how depression can destroy a person. We know how dark the world can get. Don’t give up because he doesn’t understand those things. You are worth more than he has made you feel.
It sounds as though your relationship is poisoning you from the inside out. He has absolutely no right to jude or demean or insult you. You are the only person who truly knows how much pain you are in- he cannot judge that which he does not know. I struggle with cutting on the daily, and I understand what you are going through with the depression. While I would love to say cutting in a horrible thing, I do it myself, which would make me a hypocrite; however, I do hope you stop. You don’t deserve to be put in that position of pain because he is being a complete *insert word of choice here.* And instead of waking up every morning and only looking forward to being with him, try to focus in on the little things in life that make you happy. What is YOUR favorite song, movie, candle scent, tasty snack, hobby, etc? Treat yourself for being you, because no one can tell you what you are and what you are not. I send many hugs, love 🙂