so hard that you almost feel like you are in the past again. Like all the hard work you’ve done to be a better person to have a better life just to end up right back at the bottom. This depression is eating away at me and it is truly agonizing I’ve gone such a long time without feeling suicidal. But yet some how I find myself wishing that I could just disappear and be done with life. I’m destined to be alone and I’m mortified by that because I know it’s true. I am so fucked up mentally and emotionally and every other way […]
Anxiety? Social, specifically. I do – mine is so bad that I’m totally non-functional in life. I can’t do what other people do without extreme anxiety. I don’t see this getting better, at least not without a heroic effort (which I don’t have in me anymore, and anyway, I’d have to spread my heroic effort energies among lots of other problems which would mean none would truly be solved.) So, anyone…?
So I managed to make it though yesterday but the battle dosnt stop there ok I managed to get out the house today for a short time
but doesn’t change my thoughts on the world
what is the point in struggling with depression and emotional pain everyday ? People say things get better when is that ? What’s the point in life if you don’t have no goals no idea where your going or what will happen next
people say lifes a journey and you should enjoy it well I’m not fucking enjoying this bull shit having more down then ups feel like I’m crawling though life and […]
I’ve reached the very end upon which I will endure this existence. Preparations all set…… Going to end it with a drink. I’m done with this shitty world, i’m done dealing with parasitic, materialistic, deceptive people. I’m done dealing with “family” that lies, steals, and treats me like shit. Love does not exist in this ugly, putrid, infected world of racists, murderers, politicians, corruption, prostitutes, and abominations.
I rather be dead then live with the likes of you…. You who see the light in this world are the real freaks, psychopaths, and ones who need help. “chill out, think about the positive” that’s a pitiful […]
This website is comforting. When I come here I feel like I can say my most painful thoughts and nobody judges. Maybe nobody even cares, which is fine as well. I just like someone to read my words without any judgement.
I don’t even know if this website is healthy for me to come to. But when I feel like I’m about to explode, I come here and feel a little bit more calm.
Let me tell you something. I have no idea how to be good at life. No idea what so ever. I applaud people that are good at it.
My whole life the odds have been stacked against me. My parents divorced when i was a toddler. My father was an unstable manic depressant. My mother was a narcopath. Over the years I’ve had my ups and downs with my dad. The downs were really low, often involving violence. My finger is permanently disfigured due to a fight fight with him almost a decade ago. I’ve had mostly downs with my mom. She’s not allowed in mine or my family’s lives. Long story short: she’s a user who abuses those close to her until they have nothing left to give, including me. Her top […]
I don’t know if I’ve ever been quite this serious about it before. I’ve known I wanted to die since I can remember, even as a child. I’ve been toying with methods since I was twelve. I’ve come close out of anger and extreme sadness, apathy. But I don’t know if I’ve ever been this practical about it. It’s surreal. Like, okay, this is really it. You will cease to exist now. Everyone will still be there and you won’t be. You won’t know how everyone will get on.
It’s kind of like Andy Warhol said. He would rather watch every party he’s invited to on […]
i really wouldn’t mind sleeping forever it would take a miracle for them pills to do the trick because let’s face it life isn’t going to get much better we r just giving our self faults hopes but tomorrow another day for the battle to continue I guess good night guys
Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.. I have a good job, good car, people who care about me. But I’m still not happy! And never have been. How pathetic is that? There are homeless people, children starving in Africa, someone dying of cancer right now begging for just another day. And here I am wishing I was never given this “gift” of life, I don’t see the point in it. I often think about suicide, and the only reason I don’t do it is because of my brothers, I don’t want them to feel pain. Idk if that’s selfish or selfless.
Anyways, […]
It seems an interesting paradox that people who kill themselves did not choose suicide.
I say this because anyone who is at the end is only there because they feel that there are no other options. At any moment if someone came along and proffered a better alternative, the person would choose life.
Life does not have to stop here, and it does not have to stop today. Alternatives exist, one merely has to turn around.
When one door closes people often stare so long that they miss the doors that have opened behind them. These are similar to the wise words of Helen Keller, […]
I’ve had a long life full of pain. It wears you down. I’ve tried for so long, only to fail over and over. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. I don’t see the point anymore.
I don’t particularly want to kill myself, but it has become the only practical solution. I believe some people aren’t meant to make it in this world, and that I am one of them. I learned how to pretend and act normal socially, but I can’t maintain it. When there’s no one telling me what to do, I just sit there, so I find it very hard to pretend to have a personality in a workplace or in order to maintain any human relationship. For a while, it works, because I can listen to other people and run around and have fun, and talk to many […]
Sweetness.
Been raining and gloomy all day, hell yeah…
Made a deal to get a new to me (used) guitar, fucking-A.
Going to a guitar shop tomorrow to fuck off, bullshit music with strangers, hot damn.
See, when life teabags you, just keep sucking till something sweet comes along.
Why can’t life be simple why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering why is the world such a horrible place what is our purpose for being here I didn’t ask to be born so why must I ask to leave with out feeling guilty
i envy the people born into a happy homes loving family money etc I think they get the best chance of life wile the rest start from the ground up but how can you start building if u haven’t even got a fucking dream or no were to start ?
but that’s just me how’s everyone
In all honesty, I don’t think I’m getting any better. Maybe for a day, or for just a couple of hours I actually feel something other than this depression consuming my soul. I feel content. I notice more things, like the way my boyfriends lips curve into this smirk of a smile, or the way the wind blows at night, and all the living creatures are sleeping, but you can feel the vibrations of the earth. These are the moments when I think that living might not be such a bad thing. But it never lasts. My worst enemy is myself, my own insecurities, my […]
My mother is always helpful and so is the rest of the family. But if I do something they don’t expect, even they lash out at me. I don’t want to let them know how I feel. Maybe because my brothers and parents have always been so strong. I don’t think they will ever understand my condition.
I have multiple reasons why I feel like suicide is better idea. One of them is my religion. I hate it. There is too much violence. If I breathe a word against the belief of my religion, I might be burned alive. And yes that is allowed in […]
What if, we are all angels, mischievous angels, and indeed bad angels punished by God? at the beginning Lucifer lead the revolt against god to over throw him and take over right? Well what if, when God won and cast all the angels who sided against him out of heaven they landed on earth, striped of their powers and wings, and their memories of heaven removed and thus started humans? and the really bad angels, such as Lucifer and his Dukes were sent down further to hell. Now God being merciful gave the angels a chance at redemption and those who live a good life […]
In my opinion Stephen Hawking is one of the smartest scientists since Einstein forth. What amazes me at him is that despite saying that he is an atheist in 2014, he said once that “GOD” ( creator, divine force, some force of intelligence, etc) may exist, but he should give us more evidence about him. He is really smart because open minded scientists take in account all possibilites and he is not arrogant like the mainstream atheists are . And…he is an example for us all. He can’t walk and move, eat properly or do anything properly and there he is having a family and […]
Anyone else being targeted with directed ” projected ” audio that has given them mental disorders and psychological damage ? Everyday , even at night while I am trying to sleep I am mentally tortured with this technology. I wonder how many people have lost their sanity, freedom or life from their mental health being attacked like this. Watching those TV shows about ghosts makes me curious as to howe many of those people have been victims of these crimes. ( that violate international treaties ) .
This horrible , inhumane targeting of a human beings rights are being done with malice and intent. No way […]
I run my Cross across my skin;
seams come undone and seep out sin.
Sew it shut with fragile thread
Be still, the movement in my head.
I spin and spin: a roundabout
Balance? I will live without
a sense of where I stand and why,
I’ve tip-toed, crawled, and ran: I tried
I latched on: a lowly parasite
I found my host; feasted on life
I’ve had my fill, so I detach,
detach from life, to death I latch