I thought I had life figured out, but I don’t. I’m so tired of people telling me that getting good grades or graduating from college takes away the pain of empty or loneliness; it doesn’t. I’ve graduated twice now and I can’t feel happy and it doesn’t bring me joy. I used to have this awesome imagination and I used to believe that anything was possible, but the devil has taken that away from me. And yes I believe in God, I always have. I know he is powerful and mighty and I know he is working for someone, but the devil has definitely kept […]
Tag:
life
Here I am again. Missing you, my love. I read the posts here and I think of you. I never thought for a minute that you would take your own life. You were strong, you taught me so much and you didn’t even know it. I always wished you could have seen yourself the way I saw you. I still love you with all my heart baby.
What if I don’t want to move on anymore?
What if I feel so done with this world and life?
What if I dread waking up every morning?
What if I feel disappointed that I hadn’t died?
What if I am so hurt in this life that I can’t be fixed?
I can’t live like this anymore.
I’m so close to death.
I haven’t felt loved in months.
I have felt hated.
I’ve been hurt so much.
The young girl that was once inside of me
The young girl that was filled with hope
Filled with love and joy
The little girl that had a beautiful imagination
Every night I go to sleep suicidal. Every morning I wake up fine. But what type of life is that?
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I’ve figured it out. Don’t you see the truth? this life is pain. there is pain, and then there is less pain. there is no pleasure, no happiness, no laughter. each moment is either a reprieve from pain or it is pain filled to the brim. don’t you see? if there is no life, there is no pain. every single new human is brought into this life being taught the opposite, that life is sacred, or its interesting, or that it brings more good things than bad things. its complete bullshit. the only reason that we have war, famine, starvation, cholera, shit infested water, rape, […]
When you log in there is a box that you can check so that the browser remembers your password. I hate… my brain sometimes. I realized I didn’t check the box after I logged in and it hit me. Nobody cares really. NOBODY. I was suicidal for a long time and now that I’m not suicidal? I wish I was still suicidal. I hate life. I hate people. You offer friendship and free shit to MFs and people STILL use and abuse you! I’m the only person I know that’s still somewhat “decent” in the world.
I ask people shit all the time and I get […]
It’s hard to choose between the two. To endure life and the concept of simply existing or to die peacefully and end the endurance. Suicide is not what one chooses when someone is sad. Suicide is what one chooses when they are looking for a way out of pain, and none of their other resources are working. This is something I think about constantly. Existing (from my eyes) is dealing with irate customers at the host stand at my job. It’s flunking out of my freshman year of college because I didn’t go to class because I felt like my whole world was collapsing around […]
My dream started in scattered fragments. Pieces of a world that had yet to form. A story yet to unfold. People and places were established, and the curtains drawn.
I found myself in this dream of which I had little understanding, and although I could not comprehend it, I wasn’t confused. The events of the dream took place around me, and I obliviously interacted with them. Little did I realize the relevance of the things that happened. The foreshadowing of the nightmare to come. If only I had the ability to recognize the signs, perhaps I could have prevented it from spiraling out of control.
There was […]
Afraid that I’ve gone hacked, by some fragged fuck.
FBI of shit, erasing my lines. Upper-cutted in the ass by the devil.
Their horizons as far as chicken brain. They call em’ the Chicken heads.
Their blood are black. The witches. The voodoo. Calypso.
Back of the day, of ancient ancients. She saw the black blood.
And life, was dying since day one.
Hey… Spirit of the World, crew of the Black Pearl.
Give me an eye up in this *****, and say “I,” if you’re here.
Calypso, oh Calypso. Crying, in the world of abyssal.
My sister of blood… Our dying blood. She screams for […]
There’s going to be people in your life
People who will judge you
People who will hate you
They will tell you you’re not good enough
That you don’t deserve to live
That you are not loved
That everyone wants you to die
That no one cares about you
That everyone hates you
And you’re going to believe them
Your self esteem and confidence will go down
People will constantly tell you hateful things
Over and over and over and over
Until one day you finally break under the hate
The day you can’t take it anymore
That day can either be good or it […]
done with life.
Tonight is it hopefully I’m done. What life has for me isn’t what I want nor what I can bare. I’m just numb the feeling hurts. ive got my plan ready. I’ve decided I always n knew that it would come to this. I’m to stupid for life to ugly to fucked up for it I can’t stand being in my skin a minute longer I’m tired of weeping I’m retired of being depressed I can’t get help I’m tired of being tired. So goodbye. I hope everybody is better of thani the future
I feel numb to all happiness surrounding me. I smoke pot daily, just so I feel a thrill from this life, and a little escape from every day’s crap. I need a bigger trip. Like mush or acid. Or love. I’ve been waiting for someone to love for 17 years now. All I got was hurt and scared. I just need to kiss and hug and comfort someone.Talk and cry with them. Run and laugh and live with them. All I have is a broken sister, an overwhelmed mother and a hole in my heart. I feel so empty and even tho I love myself, […]
People have little choice over the circumstances they are born into- even less do we have a choice about being born in the first place. Life and its trials are unceremoniously thrust upon us.
Most people, if asked, would not want to end their lives. Sure enough, time inevitably breeds vanity as a survival mechanism in all of us.
It is a very different question to ask if someone would’ve preferred not to have been born at all. Many people who are not suicidal would still, if they had the power to turn back time, wish to prevent their birth.
To me this speaks of a fundamental lack […]
Where are you? We miss talking to you. If you’ve gotten out of this shit life, good luck with whatever happens when you die.
Stage 1.
Blaster of death.
Two player. Our shadows intertwine.
In full-throttle collateral damage.
Dreaming of the upmost dynamic.
The one of the chain of the wicked soul.
The comrade of life and death.
The game board is in reality.
For the life of my story.
Dying in our lost corridors.
Gotham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
Arkham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
First objective mission, videogame game-station.
Remote controller, in the hand of divinity.
Let us play. The wings of Satan, is my cape.
The battle of the living heroes, of the dying race.
Damien is my child, in Arkham town.
The reality against one man. The suit of sorrows.
Enter.
The Alpha Line, here.
Stage 2.
Blaster […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
have you ever noticed that we suffer only when we know that “We” are suffering. you wanna own suffering, just like you wanna own anything else. oh this feeling of existing, of being alive is great, so tempting that one is ready to give his life for it. oh the lust of life! in me these two desires keep fighting simultaneously – to get into life (and thus suffer) and to get out of it. i have no reason to choose the former one, not a single reason, and yet somehow that lust is so much that i give in to it. i know a […]
how much can a brain process? day in day out i only keep thinking and seeking solutions. how does normality feel, what is rest – i’ve forgotten all these things. though i don’t feel like that, but logically speaking, it will explode one day.
i’ve accumulated quite a collection of solutions by now. they can change anybody’s life if he follow them diligently. but then i ask – why don’t they change mine? i think there is a part of me that wants misery, that don’t want to get detached from them, that wants all that evil that they transfer in me.