Tag:

living

I love you. I hate you.

by NotAttentionSeeking 10/16/2014

written by NotAttentionSeeking

I love you.
My love for you is illogical like a person living two lives at the same point in time.
I go crazy thinking about you. Every minute of every day, from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, you circle my mind over and over again.
I ache for you deeply but you know what they say ‘absense makes the heart grow fonder’.
And you know my heart yerns for you.

I hate you. I fucking hate you.
I hate you for tricking me into loving you.
Your social media commentary, the way you would pay extra attention to […]

10/16/2014 3 comments

sucks balls

by schizophrenia 222 10/11/2014

written by schizophrenia 222

Fuck depression sucks big time, the only time I’m not depressed is when I’m drunk or asleep.

Take me to a better place lord I want out from my illness. Doing it as soon as I save up for an older style car. The pain free way until then, living out this rotten existence is the only way.

I can’t even get a job no motivation and when I did all I had was an increase in voices through the radio. Thought I was tough living as a schizophrenic but I’m not can barely function and all I want is alcohol and tobacco to make me feel […]

10/11/2014 6 comments

I deserve it

by suicide bomb 10/10/2014

written by suicide bomb

Im terrified to go to school because there’s bullies there pushing me, teasing me, telling me to go die…. they dont know that I really want to and i barely sleep at night and refuse to leave my room most days. I trap myself in my room and push anyway anyone that tries to help me. I am on the verge of taking away the privilege of living….

10/10/2014 9 comments

My reason for depression is different from everyone else…

by Blobbles 10/9/2014

written by Blobbles

Everybody else tells me they’re depressed because they feel as if nobody would care if they died or not, they think they are worthless and they hate every fiber of their being, they feel as if there’s no potential in their life, and something has sparked their depression such as someone fucking with their life and such, but for me… I’m different. I mean, I’m an athiest so I believe that there’s nothing after death, no pain, no enjoyment, just eternal peace. I believe this because our consciousness is from blood getting to our nervous system and brain, so everything around us is, well, life […]

10/9/2014 3 comments

I do not want to live but I cannot commit suicide!

by NotAttentionSeeking 10/9/2014

written by NotAttentionSeeking

My life is a living nightmare. I want to die so badly but I can’t ever seem to follow though any plans to commit suicide. It isn’t about anything religious or some sort of moral dilemma. I guess half of reason I am unable to go through with it is the immense pain suicide may be. I mean let’s face it, jumping from a really tall building and having your bones crushed into a million pieces doesn’t seem very attractive as does jumping in front of a train. I have heard so many failed suicide attempts that I fear being in immense pain in a […]

10/9/2014 4 comments

living is so overrated

by vings 10/8/2014

written by vings

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up, or get cancer and die. I don’t know why I feel this way almost all the time.

it seems to me that living is so much work and effort and it is just not worth it.

10/8/2014 8 comments

huh?

by death bunny 10/6/2014

written by death bunny

I posted about an hour ago a post named something like “maybe we already are living in the afterlife and got doomed to hell” and it got deleted. There was nothing in the content. Anybody know why it got deleted?

10/6/2014 3 comments

Am I even living?

by Thetypicalsuicidalteenager 10/2/2014

written by Thetypicalsuicidalteenager

I feel…dead….I know thats my wish. Is to die…but i already feel dead. Im empty, broken, soul-less. I just feel alone and lost. Why do I even bother trying to get people to like me? Why do I event ry and fit in? To be normal? Im not. Im far from normal. Im a monster. First a monster to myself, but now I’ve let it free and it’s terrorizing those around me. My parents keep getting mad at me cause I “hide in my room all day” yeah, well thats cause I’m trying not to hurt anyone besides myself. So I lock myself in my […]

10/2/2014 0 comment

I’m going to end my life eventually.

by newmind86 10/1/2014

written by newmind86

Rereading the title of this post almost makes me chuckle. The passivity inherent in it, that eventually I will do something, is the way i’ve been living my life up until this point. It’s part of the reason I want to end my life. But not the only reason.

The reason is, I have always felt outside of the norm. I’ve always felt rejected and set aside, despite being told I was loved, I felt somehow dismissed. I know that in school I was indeed rejected and set aside. I was a wierd kid. I can’t let go of the idea of what I used to be, […]

10/1/2014 2 comments

Hello There..

by ritualmusic 10/1/2014

written by ritualmusic

I would like to make some friends on this site seeing as we all tend to lean towards the same mentalities. Maybe I’m misunderstanding what this site is about but I would very much enjoy some companionship. For the record I am not a serial killer, pedophile, or 50 year old man living in my mothers basement. I hope that helps 🙂

10/1/2014 16 comments

I’m back…

by bringkenziethehorizon 10/1/2014

written by bringkenziethehorizon

I haven’t been on this site in almost 2 years.. I thought abt it a lot but never had an opportunity to get on. I’ll fill yu guys in on Wats happened since last time I been here… I was in a foster home in merrillville where I started doing heroin. I got caught and tried to run away but the cops picked me up I was brought to this place called the crisis center (the A house or alternative home) it wasn’t so bad there I actually kind of miss it but of course at the time I hated it but I meet some […]

10/1/2014 2 comments

SP .. Do you believe in objective morality?

by justme- 9/26/2014

written by justme-

As in, do you believe there exists definitely righteous/evil actions? Do you believe morality can be determined through science, logic and philosophy? Or are we just primates deceived by our inner yearning(that is, our brains) for “justice” into believing some actions truly “ought to” be done, when there exists no such thing. I’m not asking for a rigorous answer to this question as I understand the difficulty in answering such fundamental questions – there is an active tug-of-war between the greatest minds in science, philosophy and theology as to the nature of morality.

Personally I’m split on the matter – partly because I’m a largely scientific thinker, and I […]

9/26/2014 9 comments

My Living Will (Advanced Directives)

by Thatothersmightlive 9/24/2014

written by Thatothersmightlive

I did not intend to create this post but because of the interest my last post made I decided to add this one.
Many have asked not only here but during the many hospital admissions that I have had to read my living will. Being on the “Inside” of healthcare I have seen the many loopholes that both family and physicians have used to get around a persons living will and provide treatments that the patient NEVER wanted.
The two biggest examples that I know of are as follows:
1. Excluding “Treatable/Reversible” conditions. Let’s say that a persons living will states no to mechanical […]

9/24/2014 2 comments

What I Have Seen

by Thatothersmightlive 9/23/2014

written by Thatothersmightlive

For those that read my previous post, you know that I’ve worked 30 health care as a respiratory therapist and paramedic. My username reflects the motto of a paramedic and the job I dedicated to do.

During that time, I’ve seen many times where lives were not saved but extended. People uncomfortable in pain sad and miserable is there to variety of tubes and machines. Often times lying in their own feces or urine with open wounds draining the most terrible smelling fluids.

Often times these patients were getting good care but you can’t stand over a patient 24 hours a day 7 days a week and […]

9/23/2014 8 comments

it’s getting harder and harder to keep living

by sutashi 9/23/2014

written by sutashi

My life has been so terrible i feel like giving up. Every single day is longer and harder to get through. My ex boyfriend left me with our baby and i feel so overwhelmed. While he’s out there sleeping with other girls, smoking weed, and racing his car, I’m here just taking care of our daughter. Everything is on me. I feel like just killing myself so he can suffer. I feel like just running away into the streets filled with the promise of intoxication and liberty. I can forget everything. I can just die in a peaceful drugged out overdose.

9/23/2014 3 comments

I’m sick of this empty life

by Jumper97 9/23/2014

written by Jumper97

I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]

9/23/2014 3 comments

I’m Trying

by Slowly_Fading 9/20/2014

written by Slowly_Fading

It’s so hard. I know that suicide will hurt a lot of the people around me especially Tino. And Tino if you see this I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be another Alexis. I can’t take this depression and these thoughts anymore! Between the thoughts, depression, anxiety, my past, my present, my family, coming out to myself as gay, I can’t go on like this anymore! My wrists are scarred but covered by bracelets, my mind is killing me. My soul is already dead. I found out that not even people who are friends of my family would support me being gay. No one that […]

9/20/2014 5 comments

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

by Autumn Jane Sky 9/17/2014

written by Autumn Jane Sky

Hi. I found this site last February by accident and have been popping in once and a while to check out posts. Today I decided to register. Why so? I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I’ve tried two ways now to die, both have failed on numerous attempts. I’m seeing a psychologist and I’m on medication to control my anxiety problems and depression. I’m 4’2″ living with a type of dwarfism known as achondroplasia. I absolutely hate my body and luv carving it with pretty red sketches. There are voices inside my head and they aren’t all that pleasant. So Yeh, I’m […]

9/17/2014 25 comments

At Peace

by camskari 9/12/2014

written by camskari

Lou Tzu once said

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace then you are living in the present”.

But what he didn’t realize is that I may not be anxious, but I am at peace. I am at peace with my depression, my insecurities, my scars, my imperfections, and my horrible thoughts. I may not be living in the present, past, or future, but I am living, and that is all that is important.

9/12/2014 1 comment

Is It?

by DayDreamer6 9/10/2014

written by DayDreamer6

Is it sad that the only reason I’m still living is for my pets?

Is it sad that I steal my mothers pain medication?

Is it sad that I sleep with a football player who I have no feelings for?

Is it sad that whenever people ask me if I’m okay I avoid the question?

Is it sad that every day I dream about ending my life?

Is it sad that the only response I give people is “I don’t care”?

Is it sad that I’ve drawn everyone away?

Is it sad that my father doesn’t even know how to spell my name?

Is it sad that I’m so desperate for help that […]

9/10/2014 14 comments

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