Hi, I am new to this site. Well, I have never posted and have rarely commented on anything but I have been around reading for several years. I come to this site to read and have always found much comfort in finding people of similar circumstances and issues. I thought that maybe at long last I would share my story and see what happens. Kind of scary to put it out there I guess but I am going to do so anyway. It may be rather long as I am a writer so I do apologize in advance but would be most grateful if someone […]
The other day I was sitting on the public bus and I was feeling really sad, as usual recently. Before I got to the bus stop I was sweating because it was really hot outside and I was also really sad because I had looked at myself in the mirror and I had seen something I really didn’t like about myself and I didn’t like myself, not that I have ever truly liked myself. Anyway, when I was on the bus, I started looking at the scenery around me and I started thinking how ever since I was young I have always felt like I […]
All my life, people have hated and humiliated me for no reason. I have social anxiety disorder. I look timid and weird, so people treat me like crap. I’ve had rocks and trash thrown at me for no reason. Strangers scream at and intimidate me for fun. I stay home most of the time. I’m always lonely, so sad, and so angry. I’ve never been on a date. I’m so sick of life. I feel like the devil is punishing me for no reason. I wish I could close my eyes and die, but every morning I unwillingly wake up to a brand new damn […]
You cleansed my soul….
on my darkest nights
you showed me light….
you became my reason to fight
now your gone….
off living life on your own
without me….
without me….
without me….
without you there is no
me.
Sitting in the dark without you
I cannot see…
A lot of people say that your Senior year is supposed to be supper easy as hell and the most fun that one can have, so I must be living the wrong life. So far, my life has been filled with pressure and stress and I am emotionally and physically tired.
What could I do to release some of the stress I’ve been living? What else is there besides cutting?
By now I’ve cut multiple lines into my skin, creating a twisted piece of artwork that is full of scratches and swelling cuts and the one problem I have is how I can’t tell anyone else what […]
i dont know why im so weak… why cant i just go already???… i hate being here… if i go to a psychiatrist theyd prescribe me medicine… i could die from OD but thats not the way i want to go… i hate living… im done with feeling like this all the time… im sick of just sitting here thinking about suicide… i need to hurry up and do it… maybe then for once in my life i can be truly happy…
I’ve been wanting this for so long; but now it’s more than a desire, it’s an obsession
I have nothing in my life that gives my living any credibility
I’m just a girl who’s broken beyond repair and this may well be how the rest of my life be like and I do not wish to keep going this way.
I need to go. I have to go.
Somehow i always end up back here… back to my blog thats held my darkest secrets. I guess i find some comfort in that sp will always be here to listen. ive turned to tumblr recently which ive been venting on… but on here its different. every time i come on i feel like ive lost a battle; except this time i can truthfully say i dont want to die; i have so much more living to do… but i am so sad. i’m lonely and i hate feeling this way. I feel anxious all the time, i feel helpless, alone and i hate living […]
please email me someone I am so alone. no friends, my family doesn’t understand, guys always leave me, no one can handle me. I’m stuck living all alone with my two cats Elmo and tawnee.. I’ve wanted to die since I was 3. I’ll be 25 in December. tawneesmommy@gmail.com
I love you
But I cannot be with you
I love you
But I cannot hold you
I love you
But I am so far away
I love you
But I am not strong enough to stay
I love you
But it’s been so long since I’ve seen you
I love you
But you seen to be attempting to elude my mind
I love you
But my memories are fading
I love you
But the day has turned to night
I love you
But the sunlight’s hidden behind the moons shadow
I love you
But I can no longer linger amongst the living
I love […]
Don’t tell me the meaning of life is to live…If so what is living by your standards? What makes you go on every single day during every second. What does that make me if I can’t stand a second I breathe? A second I’m thinking?
I feel as if my existance isn’t a mistake, but out of place. Like I don’t belong in this time period. I know the world would keep moving for you if I were gone. I also feel that allot of this madness would stop as well. When I do think […]
I question my existence every waking minute. It doesn’t matter if I’m awake or asleep, I live within nightmares whether lucid or subconsciously. I have tried everything to change my mind but there is nothing left for me here. I fear myself to be a burden to those whom I love and in my demise I feel as though I would free them of their constant angst due to the worry they possess for me. The problem is; I don’t want to die! But I am not living. This is not living. I am merely respiring, merely going through the motions of being alive. Yet […]
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that there’s someone who loves you and you do the same too for the other? I guess life is only worth living if there’s someone loving you.
“Love is when someone is willing to die for you, willing to kill for you…”
But what do I know? What is love?
Since October 2012 I have been living in a nightmare. I was engaged, with 2 children living in a nice house with a good job. Then I made a mistake and I lost it all. I lost the job and then family within the space of 7 days.
I had regular access to my kids until Christmas 2012 when after an argument my ex decided I shouldn’t see my kids. I missed my daughters 1st Christmas, so on the 31st I decided to kill myself. I drove to the cemetery near where I grew up and I took 90 Amitriptyline hydrochloride with a bottle of vodka. I waited […]
I hate living alone. I hate knowing no one is ever going to walk through the door besides me. I hate never feeling anyone else’s energy in the house. I’m going crazy.
I had my daughter when I was 21, and her dad left when she was three. From then on, it was just her and me. Over the years, as she got older, she and I became best friends, and I sort of just let my other relationships die. It was easier. I’m awkward, and relationships aren’t easy for me. With her, it was. I feel like I kind of grew up with her…well, as much as I’ve grown up. We had a lot of fun. She was this bright light in my otherwise very dark life.
Last summer, I met this guy. He was younger than […]
If ur ready to make a life choice to go on your next journey make sure u know what is there waiting for you.in ever life you are given only one gift of true love ..if u didnt respect the gift of love God gave you .and u think your all alone ..pray to God to have mercy on you and to grant u one more gift of love that you will not abuse .one love you would be willing to sacrifice your life for ..I did now I have a perfect wife and 3 perfect children ..that I will sacrifice my life for ..and […]
Existence is pointless but for people with Social Anxiety and other condition its also a constant torture. Healthy and rich people can at least enjoy themselves and not ponder their existence too much. Some days I really wish I could believe in god, living in ignorance must be bliss.
Why does it hurts so much to wake up?
Its because we were having a good dream, or just becuese we return back to life.
Today i woke up and drank the first pill even before breakfast, i headed to the kitchen asking myself if that living full of pills its living at all? Well i took some breakfast and returned ti bed, yes thats where i am, i want to cry and i want to scream, but shhhh, there is more people in the house we are not alone, and as the time go by i still look to the backyard, seeking, hoping to se something […]
I had a friend named Mikhail Belakov. He called me, asking me this question: What is there worth living for? He continued to say that he honestly didn’t see any purpose. He left a suicide note for his parents and older brother, and hung himself. I was informed of this by Mrs. Belakova, who told me the next day. He was only 15 years old.