Friday night I said goodbye to SP. after the recent stuff that went on, I lost patience on my suicide plan. I went upstairs, and then took a bunch of pills. The intention of the pills was not to kill me but to sedate me so I could suffocate myself. Didn’t work! So I went up and took more and than when I was heading back down stairs, my aunt cought me before I could use my Halloween bag. She said “come here let me look […]
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I just got to writing a good steam of conciousness for a change, about how no one listens to me. Long story short, everyone else is always telling their stories about their life and no one is willing to listen to mine. Even the people closest to me who see me the most don’t listen, so how can I ever matter in this world? I don’t, and I can’t. Â Anyway, I guess this will be the book to look for when I’m gone. I bought it at least a few months ago but haven’t kept up with writing in it. It was my intention to […]
runs through my body. You give me a dirty look, I hate you, you fuck with me, I hate you, you wrong me in anyWAY and I will see that my vengeance towards you will be swift and painful. I am a ticking time bomb and one of these days one of these fuckers in my life that I have to deal with is gonna cross me the wrong way, and that’s when the shit will hit the fan. Watch the fuck out, my patience is running out :)..
Riding a bicycle into traffic. No one but me would ever know it was not an accident. But I would not be around to tell. Will I do it? Probably never. But with life going to crap so much recently, I have been thinking about it a lot.
“Tearing down the rest of the world won’t make you happy. Look inside yourself. Because finding who you were meant to be? What you were put into this world to do? That’s what fills the emptiness. It’s the only things that can.”
my body shakes and i cry. he didnt deserve the way i treated him, i hurt everyone around me. i push people awy but he never left he always stayed by my side untill the day i broke him. I’ve never seen so much pain on someones face, and im just now getting upset over it. all it took was one look at his photo and i completely lost it. it doesnt help that i see him almost everyday. my chest hurts, everything hurts.
So…after many struggles and trying to lift myself up off of the ground and many blessings, I have finally made it. I MADE IT! I am so proud of myself. As much shit as I’ve been through and I’ve actually made it so far. I lost my dad, I lost my mom to drugs, I lost my house, I lost my dog, I was put in a total strangers house who only wanted me for a paycheck. I made it through high school all by myself. I applied to college all by myself. I am MAKING it. I still have moments where I feel like […]
Wndozh8r (did I get that right?) Been trying to tell you that I’m also from WV. I was born & raised in Morgantown. I am only surprised more people in WV aren’t in here, because living in WV is enough to make one want to kill themselves. 😉 lol (But actually I have had a moment or two of being homesick. It’ll be 2 years out of WV before I know it. I lost my whole family and life there.)
Somebody Insignificant (is that right?) Damn it to hell, I’m horny! Lol
And for others, I wonder what these guys look like who swear they’re going to […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc8kH3d6Bf8
why is it that I always am left with the benefit of the doubt? it’s annoying. I don’t have aspergers but I feel like I do sometimes and I cant control it. I feel like no one understands me at all. like im left to suffer. it depresses me. it disappoints me when I don’t hear the correct words I expect of the other person. at least a feedback. always happens when im in college. like no one likes me for some reason I don’t know why. I feel stupid and it makes me look like it. I guess i’ll be dying alone then […]
Hello whoever is reading this.
I hope your life, day, week, hasnt been shitty like some people on here. I know i shouldnt sound so selfish but god i cant take any of this anymore. Does anyone understand how hard it is looking in the mirror HATING what you see? because trust me i know the feeling. You look in the mirror and all your fears just get bottled up and thrown at you, right? I dont know if its just me, or society creating this image in my head of how i should look. I am 5’7 and weigh 128.2 pounds. i use to weigh […]
Things are not good for me. More or less I am nothing more then a dissapointment in everything I do. I am a failure as a boyfriend,father,friend,son,grandson…you name it. I am falling apart in every way imaginable. I hate to look at myself,and no matter what I do I can’t seem to pull out of this. I tried to end it once,but was “saved” by 2 friends….not this time. I have a short period of time before my 2 year suicide clause is up on my life insurance,I have a storage unit large enough to fit my truck in it rented so no one can […]
Is anyone else on here fascinated with the faces & stories of those who have committed suicide?
I spend hours watching YouTube “people who have committed suicide” then researching everyone of those faces to learn their story & look at their facebook pages.
They all look like such beautiful, everyday normal people
I hope to have their bravery someday soon!
How would other people describe your personality? I know most of us on here probably have self esteem issues, so try & look through others eyes not your own 🙂
My doctor said that those of us who suffer from suicidal thoughts tend to have similar traits & not be horrible, selfish people that others think we are. Would also be interested in ages.
Me: quiet, conscientious, kind-hearted, nature & animal lover, submissive (I.e not dominant, will put other people first). 24 years old.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
There’s a silence in the room,
I don’t speak quite like you do.
You got my fingers crossed,
But I’ll catch myself and I’ll wish you off.
And I never thought the words you’d cast would hurt so much.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought the one you trust would stab your back,
I guess it’s not so bad.
There’s a window in my room,
I can’t see clear like you do.
I won’t move my mouth and I’ll stand up straight just to push you out.
So I can see your insides out,
And figure you out.
And I never thought […]
If you had the one chance to meet your past self, may it be your 5-year old or 12-year old, or your last year self, which age would it be? And what would you tell him/her?
For me, if I could meet my 12 year old self, I would tell her,
“Be happy. There’s no need to be so sad… It won’t solve anything nor is it of any use. Smile, because everything will be just fine. When you’re as big as me you’ll look back and realize the beauty is much more meaningful compared to the pain.”
have you ever felt like you don’t know what’s going on anymore? Like you dot care about anything anymore. You’ve lost your motivations to do anything. You are confused about your feelings, and you cant explain how you feel. You have that feeling o emptiness, and the feeling that no one understands you anymore. And it seems like there’s nothing to look forward to anymore.
Yeah, I get these feelings too.
I’ll have a drink for that. Another thought about my ex-fiancee, I’ll have a drink for that too. Another thought about my deceased loved ones, there’s a drink for that. Just a little sip, oh look some anti-anxiety pills I’ll have to take those too. Looking at my life, the past the present and the future and having absolutely no idea where I am going to be, there’s a noose for that…
I still haven’t moved on from that fight between me and a bunch of fake friends.
The pain in my head just makes everything worse.
Half-heartedly, I tried my best to look strong. But to no success.
Under the rain, I would be weeping as I kept thinking about it.
Rather than having a fun young life, I refused to do so. I am always at home.
The atmosphere between me and those backstabbers will be awkward on school days.
Sadly, I can’t avoid it as we are in the same class.
Now what do I feel? Put all the initials of every paragraph together.
IT HURTS
Everyone around this fucking ***** sitting here thinking they know what’s best for me and trying to tell me how to live MY ducking life!! I just wanna get the fuck up and move as far away as I can and never fucking look back!! Tired of all the bull shit!!! Fuck this!!
Life is caving in around me… the life I have has changed. The girl I love and the children I’ve raised don’t give me the time of day, the love has just vanished. I’ve done everything right but I have nothing more to give. I can’t take what this feeling is anymore… I’ve lost her once and now it’s happening again and I can’t go through it twice…Everyone tells me life is to short to dwell on this but I know i can’t do this without her… tomorrow doesn’t seem to look any brighter.