I’m 30 years old, female. Ever since I was a child, I had a hard life (I prefer to not get into details about that). I never envisioned a real future for myself. While most kids thought about what they wanted to study in college or what they wanted to be when they grow up, there were only 2 things that I envisioned for myself: 1) jumping off high rise buildings to end the suffering, and 2) finding the love of my life to rescue me from this misery and live happily ever after. Well, I’m single now, went through 3 serious/heartbreaking relationships where the […]
Love Life
I’ll have officially turned 26 by the time I have posted this.
This morning it hit me. I’m turning 26, still living with my parents, never had any further education or qualification. I’ve wasted my life.
I look back now with regrets. “What could have been”. I’m really unhealthy, a non-existent love life and well, no future. I think today would be a perfect day for suicide.
I have a plastic bag and a helium tank in my cupboard… no gauge though. Home alone. Fate be with me… let me die.
I got the suggestion of having one day of being completely truthful and to be honest…I couldn’t do it. I’m scared of what people think of me and how they will react. I know I should only care about what I think of myself but I don’t and to be honest, who does? So I’ll be honest here, I’m going to vent and say some things that I’ve never told anybody. So I guess here goes nothing:
I lost the love of my life a little over a year ago because I was stupid and screwed up the whole relationship.
I don’t believe in true love anymore […]
Sometimes i question why i’m still alive , theres days where i love my life , but then theres days i dont want to be alive , I have been abused ,. i’m a drug abuser , i smoke ans pop pills , trying to forget the pain of the moment , i know it wont make it any better , i got hospitalized monday for attepmted suicde , the hospital was the worst place for me , I didnt want to be there or ever be alive , but i was forced ., Help me ..
sometimes you ask yourself why?? we do these stupid things when in the end we die.. but were all still alive as we walking down the road to the pathway of life.. and even tho we try.. its never easy … sometimes we get lazy ..its hard to stay busy ..we smoke a little weed and we get a little tipsy.. but its fine we need some fun times.. sometimes its good to do a few lines… but don’t be stupid and keep your mind …. you’ll need it.. this life is hard .. but if you believe you know you’ll go far … and […]
Hi, let me start by saying that I am NOT suicidal. However, I have tried to commit suicide when I was younger a few times, but, I never actually tried to where it’d actually put so much as a scratch on me. I also often want to die… But honestly, I just don’t have the balls to do anything… And I also thought about if, I fail, and wake up in a hospital, get better, have to go to therapy, people ask me questions, all that shit would piss me off.
Anyway, what I came here for is to have a place to rant and just […]
Hi everyone, am a forum newbie. Decided as it is new year, will also register straight away.
Where to start, I am female, 30 from the UK. I have suffered Borderline Personality DIsorder as far back as I remember I, just came out of some calm BPD remission time (no love life or want for one) ie a want for a love life arose. But the feeling was not reciprocated, hence been feeling suicidal, now here. I don’t want sympathy. I just wish to be abit of a lurker and learn good methods for the time when this happens again, which it will (always does) and […]
How do you cope?
when your…
…friend who you thought was your best friend left you?
…mother decides not to believe in you and wants to disown you?
…brother and sister decides to not stand up for you and stay with your mother instead, even though you truly believe you are right?
…only friends are the good friends, but no close friends?
…love life is in shit-hole?
…university academic is being affected by your drastic (depression) behavior?
…thoughts of suicide is re-surfacing, stronger than ever?
I am sleeping alone now in a hotel. My mother just left me to sleep in our new apartment. My brother […]
Ok, so life hasn’t been so great lately. So there’s this girl who said she loved me a few days ago, and I LOVED her for months and months and watched her get boy-friend after boy-friend while I’m almost certian she knew I was in love with her, so I was basically nothing to her when she had a boy-friend and when they cheated on her or broke up, Of course I was “the best” and “super amazing” because I’m so soft harted I CAN’T not forgive some one. And I just kept loving her. And now recently I knew I would never have her […]
hey all suicidal angels.. im calista.. well, im suicidal..it’s been awhile..ive tried it so many times but here I am, typing this up. How I wish im dead by now..i just dont wanna live but in some point,i feel i dont wanna commit suicide and pray to God that someone might stab me up or something..It can be anything,i just dont wanna live.
Since I was 5, my life really intense. Parents always want the best out of me, so I gave them all. I do so many things in life, Im always the best student in school and in college, i cook, i bake, i […]