Damnit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself hope and think that it’s going to be ok? How do other people handle it? How do they just move on from people, how do they keep breathing and living and laughing? I need serious help, because it’s clear that I’m not getting better. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE.
IT ALL USED TO BE SO CLEAR..
IM FINDINGÂ I CANT DOÂ THIS ON MY OWN.
AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEAR…
IM DONE FIGHTING THIS WORLD
.. IM FINALLY LETTING GO.
..I WILL TRUST IN YOU..
YOUVE NEVER FAILED MEÂ Â BEFORE….
.I WILL TRUST IN YOU…
IF THERES A PATH I SHOULD WALK ….                                                      HELP ME FIND IT..
..IF I NEED TO BE STILL,
GIVE ME PEACE FOR THE MOMENT
BEFORE MY DEATHÂ Â Â ……
..AND MY RE BIRTH TO
MY REAL JOURNEYÂ ..
..IN SRIRIT….
.FOR EVERY STEP YOUÂ TAKE ..
YOUÂ WERE NEVER ALONE…
.EVEN WHEN […]
Do you know that girl that always goes for the asshole.. Whether it be because she feels like she’s not good enough, she loves him, she’s scared or a lot of other things.. That’s me. I’m that girl that went out with a guy that I “love” for two, almost 3 years. Cussing at me, hitting me and manipulating me was his game.. He made me believe it wa my fault for him having sex with girls because I wouldn’t. He would just tell me the worst of things.
I loved him so much. He would tell me when he would want to […]
I think everyone can relate to those moments in life where you feel invincible. You are just so happy that it’s like nothing can hurt you and for that moment you forget about all the pain and all the bad that surrounds you. But just as you are in that high life strikes back bringing you back down to where you started. That’s why so many people refuse to be happy because something usually goes wrong that risk of being knocked back down is always in the back of their mind. Happiness is one of those things that can either have a permanent effect or […]
JUST DONT KNOW Y IAM HERE IF IAM THE PURPOSE > NOT SURE Y THIS DONT END BECUS IM SICK OF BEING A CONTARD TO EVERAE AND NOAE…………
I am 18, depressive, bipolar, an alcoholic, on zoloft, and way too sensitive. Yesterday I messed things up with this guy I was dating. We were talking at night in bed ( I was drunk and high ) and he started talking about how because of our 7 year age difference our relationship, as in officially dating, wouldnt last long. Basically during this conversation I told him I loved him (to which he replied ‘I’m not there right now’), and I cried. I behaved in a way that maintained no dignity for myself.
I have been unspeakably depressed all day today. Really, the worst I’ve […]
The more I grow up the more I get older
Physically yes, but psychologically more
It’s like we have to be much more colder, to live life without being hurt
We build up walls so that we don’t get burned, that we fight
the urge of genuinely caring for each other.
Sweetheart, I’m only twenty years old and I started building this house of stone guarded by
Thorns to tear apart those
Who try to destroy the only heart
That I have
A lot of people don’t understand that
The joy that I have is not me trying
To be happy
If I were to […]
Hello,
I’ve been aware of this site for a while now. Never posted before. But now I’m in kind of a dilemma and even though I don’t know any of you, I can’t think of anyone else I can really talk to about this.
My parents have come in to a bit of money and because of some weird thing where having more money will cause them problems with the government, they want to give it to me. I should point out here, BTW, that I’m not talking about doing anything illegal.
I don’t want it because frankly my poorness is perhaps one of the few things going […]
I suppose this becomes my home again, for the next little while. The one place I will just keep returning to, until my life is finally ended. The only real place for me. I just keep getting my heart destroyed. This time is different, though. I mean, I don’t fall for just any person, but when I do fall for someone, I fall so fast and so hard. I just don’t know what to do without him. I am not even sure what I am anymore. I was once bisexual. Technically, I still am. Could totally copulate with either gender, but I do have to […]
So many things run through my head… The father who moved away, the mother who was never really a mother, the sister who I lost as a best friend to some loser boyfriend, the ex I want back, the stress of school, being broke, my battles with my illnesses… And there seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Every time I think I see it it just disappears…
Today:
I ate too much… Way more than usual. The usual being nothing or something very small when people are around to avoid questioning. I am home alone for the most part so […]
I feel so incredibly guilty. Marked, Branded, Judged. Dirty, filthy on the inside. This is my confessional. I am selfish, I am false, and I am a liar.
I can talk, spill over with words here about her, and what she did. But in the end, after all of the shit and piss and blood of Her, I am the one I am mad at, and I am the one who is guilty.
There are so many things I would rather hide away. Hide from plain sight. My internal wretch, the insufferable Thing I see in the mirror. What people see is false, and I know it. […]
My plan is motion. My method, divine. I’ll gain his trust. He will be blind to my plot. I will dazzle him with my enthusiasm for life, and then, when his head is turned and never-the-wiser, my plan will surpass the methods of past, and victory shall be mine. His pain will be great, as great as our love, but release from my pain will bring sweet victory at last. He will morn, and then move on, once I am gone.
It’s better for him to find someone worthy of his time. Someone who shines as he does. Who laughs and plays as he does. Who […]
Nathan,
I was really upset when you decided to take your own life back on June 23, 2002 and still think of it almost every day. I know you must have been going through some rough times but I really wish you would have contacted one of us (your family)for support. We had our share of fights growing up that I thought I would never forgive you for. As I sit here today writing this letter I can honestly say that I forgive you. There are so many things that I held onto over the years, maybe I could have learned to get over them and […]