This is my first post. I’m  a 31 yo female, a cutter, overweight and ugly….I deal with the pain every day. My dad is getting on in years and he has been forgetting a lot lately, which makes me even more sad becuz I know that he has real reasons to be depressed and want to die, but he doesn’t. But maybe it’s cuz he forgot he wanted to. My pain is mostly from love.
In 2011 I met someone I fell in love with, hard, and I know he didn’t feel the same way. How could he, I’m me! But over all this time […]
Tag:
Love
i feel like the sky is about to fall
i hope i can get a rele job that isunt with my dad or on boats i whant to do pub gigs folow the pofrming arts do some thing so i can just pay the bills but thats not going to happun is it i whant to have a famaly do a beter job than my dad and mum i whant to fall in love but thats not going to happun love killd me long long time ago now my deth hornts my dreems it such a god day why do i feel like this all iv […]
Kenny and I had/have a love like none other. We lived to love, laugh and make each other happy, and we exceeded that everyday for over 9 years. On 2/4/12 Kenny proposed to me and I thought that was the happiest day of my life, but everyday after that only got better. Kenny was the spice of life. Everything that Kenny did was amazing because he had that enthusiasm that made everything amazing. Then it all ended…
3/5/13 started out like any day. Kenny sent me a text to say he was up and I responded in my normal way “Good morning baby – I love […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
That’s all I had planned to say here. But maybe I should say something else. My room smells like overwhelming dog piss, because my fucking dog has not absorbed three years of potty training. I think we should put him down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about school shootings lately. Did anyone here about the one in Ohio? TJ Lane? Anyway, it fascinates me. If I could get a hold of the guns, ammo, and confidence, I would do it. I know who I’d take out, and why. Fuck you, for telling everyone that lie about me having sex with that scum. Fuck you, for telling […]
Since I was 12 years old I’ve had a crush on a boy who would only break my heart.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve cried myself to sleep every night.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve wanted mutual feelings of attraction .
Since I was 12 years old I’ve wanted to die.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve tried to die.
I love my family, I love my friends, so I can’t die.
I want a way out, but I don’t want the people I love to feel the pain I feel everyday.
Maybe I just need a friend who understands […]
leve me alone i dont like this i whant out of that billding i whant to go home
a fleeting glimps of what i youst to be of the boy runing torw my haed in a feld
were the red and blue flowers grow were the grass grows tall and thick were the boy who at age 9 pikt up a gutat and nevet let go he still hasut but the words of his songs talk of deth ad losst love with no way out with somthing to shout about WITH the will to go on
a fleeting glimps of what i was
a chilld […]
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years. Â I’ve been thinking pretty much these thoughts throughout the entirety of that time period- the thoughts becoming more complex and clear or unclear as time passed. Â I’m 18 now. Â It has been especially bad this year getting ready for college. Â The thoughts of moving out and beginning the rest of my life are eating away at me. Â I never really thought I would get this far but I did. Â The fact that I’ve only been here 18 years is killing me. Â I’ve only been here 18 years. Â How can I possibly put up with 70 more years […]
I just came out to my Dad tonight. I did not plan that at all. Came up totally unexpected. He came to talk to me because he noticed I was depressed and struggling and eventually things led to wanting to come out to him. I was so scared. I knew it was something I needed to do though. It took me so long to get it out. He’s a super conservative Catholic…so you can see why I would be scared shitless. He took it surprisingly calmly. But I don’t feel the relief I wish I had felt. I still feel like he doesn’t fully accept […]
If you’ve ever had a chemistry class’s you should know that at every moment of life there’s and enermOus amount of pressure hurling down on you. It s what keeps the water in place and the oygen in the air I think. But just like the oceans were all under pressure contanst continuous pressure. Thats really how we live forever….
I have a deep love for bots I love the sail bots the old wooden ones . I thong that mastery of ship captains and their crew is the apex of adventure and freedom. I ve always wanted to be and old shi ccatain and feel […]
Hi,
I feel that I am not worthy of the life I have, I am not worthy of my amazing parents. I don’t deserve to go to the school I am going to. I feel that there are people out there that more worthy of the life I am currently living. I feel that if I were not alive, those people might have actually had the chance.
Despite my parental support, despite my amazing research advisor, I cannot keep up with my life and succeed. I feel that I can never go anywhere in my life. Not professionally, nor emotionally. I have never had anyone really love […]
I’m surprised that people responded to my post about wanting to die probably because I’m used to being ignored when I need help the most. That’s right – ignored. It’s called growing up with a depressed, emotionally distant mother who was too preoccupied with her own problems to give her baby girl the nurturing and love she needed. Sneer if you want. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck. I’ve spent years in therapy, group therapy, on medications, making crazy, fucked up choices that intellectually I could not defend or understand yet I acted on anyway. I finally, finally put it all together: not enough of […]
Im 60 years old, was married for 25 years, 3 kids, 5 grandkids. Been divorced for 4 years now. Divorce was difficult since kids sided with the mother, but have since come back around. I was somewhat emotional about divorce but more upset about kids. Been dating since and has had its good and bad. 2 years ago I met a lady that rocked my world!!! She is awsum. Problem is I wouldnt commit and I messed up by pushing her away somewhat during a major house buying and renovating project. 2 weeks ago she dumped my sorry ass!!! I am devasted, been crying like […]
Happy Easter my friends. I pray and hope that you all and myself may find peace and some serenity to our anxious minds. I love you all!
JerzyBoy
i THINK i AM INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY AND THAT IF PEOPLE REALLY LISTENED TO ME THEN MAYBE IT WOULD BE WORTHWHILE Â STAYING IN THIS WORLD. BUT NO ONE HEARS ME. NO ONE REALLY SEES WHAT IS INSIDE. I CANT KEEP FIGHTING IT ANYMORE. I DIED A LONG TIME AGO. I CAN NO LONGER TRUST OR LOVE. I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.. I JUST HOPE I CAN DO IT SOON SO I WONT HAVE TO THINK ANYMORE.I FEEL SO ALONE. I AM SO ALONE. Â ONCE I AM DEAD I WILL BE ABSOLUTELY ALONE BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER….I WONT FEEL IT.
I’m relatively new to this site, but thought I’d take my turn to publish a post. The reason I’m on here tonight is because I am really struggling at the moment. I am really having strong urges to end my life. I don’t want to kill myself, yet I don’t want to continue living this life that I have created for myself. Very contradicting sentence, isn’t it? I just feel so alone. And I know isolation plays a big part in it, but even with people I still feel incredibly alone. I hate myself so much. I hate my body and my mind. I wish […]
I am 14. A freshman. On the crew team. Go to a well known school. Get good grades. I do what I need to do to get through highschool. But, everything I do is not good enough for my parents. It all started when I was born. Adopted. Great huh? Although, I grew up thinking I was born to these parents, biologically. Soon to figure out I wasn’t. Heartbreaking. I fought through all the pain of feeling not loved. Until 2009, when my “mothers,” father died. He was my one and only.He kept me sane. I told him everything. He told me everything. It was […]
I wish you ppl wouldn’t talk about dying. Stop pls.  So sad, I’m just like u and i don’t want death. pls think about before you’re gone. Love u all. smile ^^ pls.
I don’t even know why I try, I always fail. It’s always a waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of love. Noone ever loves me the way I love them. Noone ever really cares. This time it’s too much, it’s too painful and the wounds aren’t healing. The only way I know to be at peace and not hurt is to die. My tyme for freedom is coming soon.
I had my first boyfriend when I was fourteen. I made a mistake by trusting him, loving him, thinking he really loved me. I introduced him to my mum, who was cool about it.
But then he tried to rape me. I got away, but it was too late, he already had taken pictures of me topless. I am not getting them back.
I did not know it right away, but one day, I thought erase my mistake, rub it off, get it over with, so I messaged him on MSN, telling him what would happen if anyone knew of that day. Then he used […]