I hate it when people say suicide is selfish. People that I thought I could trust say suicide is selfish, cowardly and wrong. I don’t know why I call them back, I don’t know why I answer their questions and I don’t know how much longer I can fake this happiness. Sometimes I fantasize while I’m laying down, I get up grab a noose and hang myself. Other times I fantasize grabbing that gun and shooting myself. Lately I’ve been feeling really suicidal, I watched people jump from the Golden Gate bridge and boy was it amazing. No one has a right to tell me […]
Tag:
Love
 Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there’s a God who loves you,
where is He now?
Maybe, there are things you can’t see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you’ll see, you’ll see
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
’cause the pain you’ve been feeling,
can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, nd just […]
Laying in the pure darkness
Paralyzed with pain
Screaming yet unable to breath
No one waits for you
No one wants for you
Enduring the days
With measured tolerance
Blocking out the pain
But the night comes
And there is no end in sight
Watching others’ joy in one another
No one thinks of you
No one cares for you
The bitter loneliness
Cuts deeper than any machete you inflict upon yourself
Not understanding how you are worth so little
The ones you love
Don’t even see you
When you hand them your heart on a silver platter
Not caring, they crush it underfoot
No one stops for you
No one knows […]
Today I found out that my Great Grandmother died of pneumonia last night in hospital. And I felt nothing. We were fairly close and I liked her far more than my Grandma. But when I heard she’d died… nothing. Nothing at all. I felt nothing for her death.
What makes me sad is the impact it has on the rest of my family. I nearly cry when I think about my Great Grandad having to hear his wife’s passed away and my Grandad hearing he’s lost his mother. It makes me really sad to see my mum so not herself. I can’t help but comfort my relentlessly […]
i am 16 yrs old. my mom is 32 and my dad i dont know becaus e he walked out n my mom when she was pregnant. i live with my mom and step dad who are married and have been for 12 yrs. they have 5 kids together. my step dad raised me but i was never close to him. my father figure past away 2 yrs ago. i didnt know how to handle his death so i started cutting again. i started cutting when i was 8 and stopped when i was 14. my mom doesnt know that i cut and no one in my […]
Dear Love,
This is the last time you screw me over. Because of you, this time I found my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. I did absolutely nothing to deserve that. I was faithful, kind, patient, and loving to him through it all. I would have never hurt him like he hurt me. 6 years gone to waste. This goes for the rest of the guys and “friends” who screwed me over. My heart aches so badly and is through getting stabbed over and over again. It hurts… so much… I just want it to stop… But it won’t… I hope you’re all happy. I have been broken […]
To know that i was the one to drive you to kill yourself.
To know than us being in love was the thing keeping you alive..
To know that you never really wanted to split apart from me…
To know that all i had to do is stop and think befor i walked away…
To know i could of stopped you….. I know now i should of never walked away but now iv ripped you appart from everyone you loved and they will never see you again because of me…….
All i can say now is i’m sorry i was so blind and now i […]
..so my lovevlife is over ? ? i got the human p. virus.. i have no idea from who. though im pertty sure it was from my ex bf.. and now b/c of it i had to get surgery and now i need to get it again.. its been almost a year since i had the surgery and it sucks. i wont be able to be in a relationship or start seeing someone if I dont get rid of this again… and its gonna be the same routine for the rest of my life… so wtf.. i hate this.. and life. its like im not […]
If you’re wondering what its like to lose your first and only love, your everything, the more than other half of your heart, well this is what its like:
(Sorry, they’re no words for this)
Not only did I lose him.
But I saw him, loving another girl, a perfect girl, a girl ten, no a hundred time prettier than me. I wasn’t with him, I haven’t seen him in months.
But what I did see were the “I love yous” on facebook.
I know. Fucking facebook.
I died. Since then, I have died.
You have no idea how it feels. To watch someone you love, with every fiber in […]
Hi
The reason im posting this is because i want to get this off my chest.
I’m 15 and have being suicidal for nearly 2 years now. Before the last few months i was’nt serious about suicide but now i am and need to do this.
I’ve lost alot of friends over the last following months basically pushed them away. 11 months ago a girl local commited suicide,it did’nt no her that well but she had tons of friends, she was good looking, i guess she was just depressed like me.I don’t have uch friends, i have a couple who are friends but not close, […]
first of all let me say i dont have problems in school im an A student i go to a good christian school even though im not christian .
i do have problems in life i have since i was 8 . the big drama’s started when i was 12/13 im (16)
my mother is a heavy  heroine addict and hasn’t payed attention to me since i was born … when i was 8 i was taken into foster care and moved from place to place till i was 13 where i was put in a residential with 2 to 3 other girls where they decided to […]
You say you will always love me and even try to help me when you fid out iv been cutting again. You say you will always be here to help me. But in the end you never really cared did you. Now that i dnt have you since you wernt who you seemed to be the blood will start to flow again. My heart is crushed I ope you know and now for thatmy arm wrist must pay the price. You were the only thingkeeping me to his world and now all i can do is say goodbye..
When you go, Would you even turn to say “I don’t love you, like i did yesterday”?….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I have a very violent brother, and what’s the worst part? a tiny piece of me really wants him to take out all of his fury on me. To properly hurt me, like i can’t. My razorblade just doesn’t do the trick anymore, i think it’s blunt, only leaves a scratch that doesn’t bleed much. It’s killing me. i need pain, deliberately holding my hand under hot water just the feel the burn…. i don’t think i can do this for much longer.
Life is becoming darker and darker…. i can’t see the light. Afterall? We were just born to die.
I think i’m starting to love […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]
These thoughts are out of control,I’m going to my therapist later and i just don’t know how to describe these feeling,I’m a tell her i don’t wanna be on meds ne more, cause there not helping, i’ve tried and tried to push , but i losing strength, I feel hopeless these thoughts will always come back, cause i let them, but it only because the feel so raw and true. I believe what you say, i just don’t believe it forever, you lost it, you lost everything, my love is gone and the only thing i feel is hatred to myself and life,, I don’t […]
Wow It was aaawwwesome!Wrestlinq Is one of the thinqs that keeps me qoinq.I’ve been watchinq It since I was nine.When I first laid my eyes on It,I fell In love.This years WrestleMania was qood!The thinq that I didn’t like was that The Rock won.Uqh he makes movies so who cares If he would’ve lost?Cena wrestles every week.That was The Rock’s old like and It Is Cena’s life so why’d they make him lose?And Sheamus,I don’t care that he won I just wished that I would’ve seen a match Instead of Daniel kissinq cute Aj and then turn around and qet kicked In the face.Triple H […]
I’ve been writing too many of these lately…
A long and winding road
A winter lonely and cold
I near the end of this fateful trip
The solitude sucks me down
To depths below the underground
No hope of any rescuing ship
A ray of dawn breaks the dark horizon
Illuminating the shattered dreams
Through the purest light I can envision
A place devoid of broken memories
Shrouded in the sheltering darkness
Forgetting and becoming lifeless
Simply let go
Don’t mourn what you know
I leave on the wings of night
I leave you to fight
Never forget-
The sun must set
Take all my love
Carry it with […]
(Written with a shattered suicidal heart)
If I could go back in time
to when you asked me out
I’d look at you and say
of course, without a doubt
The kids at school can laugh
the kids at school can stare
but they just dont know
the love of ours is rare
I don’t know what to say
and I don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to tell
I want my 1st kiss with you
I wish that you would hold me
in your arms at night
wrapped around my heart
wrapped aroung my sides
I only wish that you could know
all the things I […]
I said: “Everyone has problems.”
You said: “You don’t. Your life is perfect.”
I didn’t argue.
But I did come on here right after you left and started writing this whilst inside me everything’s all jumbled up and messy and broken.
We all have our problems, okay. I might not have a horrible home life like you. I might not have been through the same things as you. But let me promise you: I have plenty of problems.
Yes, I have what looks like the perfect life- loving family, nice house, plenty of money etc. And I do actually have all of those things. My parents raised me perfectly and I […]
So, here is my (quick) history:
I met a girl on the internet, via a social network. We talked a lot and decided to meet in person. We kissed and we did swear love forever to each other. Â She lives ~250km from me, btw. We have been together since then, 4 years now.
A few months ago, we started to fight very often, everyday. We broke up a couple of month ago, but I came after her to try to reunite us again, like we used to. Well, it worked…for a while.
Like my title says, for now, I can’t have both. Though you guys may say that […]