first of all let me say i dont have problems in school im an A student i go to a good christian school even though im not christian .
i do have problems in life i have since i was 8 . the big drama’s started when i was 12/13 im (16)
my mother is a heavy Â heroine addict and hasn’t payed attention to me since i was born … when i was 8 i was taken into foster care and moved from place to place till i was 13 where i was put in a residential with 2 to 3 other girls where they decided to gang up on me they called me alot of harsh and cruel names i attemtped suicide every day and ended up in hospital and when i got out i would go again until they eventually put me in a mental health ward for a week … they perscribed me anti-deppresents but unfortunately they made me worse and i attempted suicide another way … aprt from my usual cutting and trying to hang myself i took 105 panadol and over dosed i was barely concious when i whent to the hospital i had given up on my life the reasons as to why that is .. one of my best friends at the time had been posing as a male for 6 months threatening me and my life and i got to a bad place and i found out it was her and she wasnt sorry and she told me im nothing and to go kill myself so i told her i would and thats how i ended up at the hospital fighting 5 nurses that were trying to save me eventually i got my stomache pumped and i was throwing up for 4 hours after that all i did was cut myself for a long time and i lived at that resedential for 2 years until i whent to live with my mum in sectember 2010 , everything was fine for a little while she would treat me like a princess then she changed she stopped feeding me and she stopped caring i admit i cryed out for her to care by coming home drunk and doing alot of illegal things i shouldnt of i just wanted my mum to love me . in january 2011 i lost my verginity not intentionally i was pressured and after that i thought i could find love by sleeping with guys and i felt special for a while but then it faded the next day for my whole year of being 15 i would sleep with guys and drink and take drugsÂ then i was sexually assalted on a few occasions and everything changed i couldnt talk to anyone became severly depressed isolated and i tryed suicide again it was like an addiction to meÂ and my mum came in one night and i was hanging myself in the closet and she just laughed at me and took photos i really never understood how she could be my mum and hate me so much … as im writting this today about two months ago i finally spoke up to my child safety officer and i moved away from her to live with my grandma it was so hard to do i had to start a new school when i hadnt been to school since grade 8 and i whent in to year 10Â my grandma loves me so much and has always helped me .. i had a few occasions when i wanted to cut myself but i didnt i have recently started feeling deppressed again and i have been drinking till i pass out for 3 days straight im staying at my friends near the place i used to live in for school holidays and i really dont know if i get drunk will i try to kill myself .. i say my life feels fake because i try to be this good girl but no one can see im faking it and that im in pain everyday i dont know what to do ….