It`s 2:00 in the morning and I found this website by typing `my life is meaningless` in the google search engine. Maybe I should type a little about myself; I don`t know how this site works exactly. I`m going to turn 20 in the summer. I dropped out of university a little while ago, but that`s okay because there were so many things wrong with going in the first place. I went across the country a little while after that, worked a couple jobs and now here I am, back in my parents basement. I ticked the box `general`but maybe I`ll tick `rants` as well. […]
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Many Things
I HATE THIS. I feel so many things, and at the same time I feel nothing. I spend part of my day believing that everything will turn out alright, and I spend the other part wondering how I can even fathom waking up tomorrow. I’ve managed to turn my life upside down (feel free to have a look at previous posts for something of an explanation, if you really care). I’ve hurt one of the people I love and need most. Not that she knows how much I need her in my life. She said I keep too much to myself, that I’m too secretive. […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself at various times throughout the past 5 years. Â About two months ago I started to become serious about it and began to plan my death. Â This was after I had gotten out of the psychiatric hospital (my 7th hospitalization since 17 years old). Â I was in the hospital for almost 4 weeks and received 6 electro-convulsive therapy treatments. Â I also got put on some new medications which didn’t do anything to no surprise. Â I was however started on adderall which was the only thing that got me out of bed and able two at least go through the motions of […]
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]
Here is a bit about me. Â I am an adult soul trapped inside a teenage body. Â I have OCD, but few know and nobody cares. Â I have depression, but few know and nobody cares. Â I live a life. Â I hate it.
People say, I have so much to live for. Â What? Â Family – like they care. Â Friends – who? Â I’m going to be a successful person, blah blah blah – who the f*ck cares? Â My dad once asked what would have happened if Albert Einstein wasn’t born. Â The answer was someone else would have come along and done what he did. Â So who cares if I’m […]
My post probably won’t mean a whole lot because I do not know how to put my experiences into words. It’s simply not worth trying to end your life. There is so much to look forward to, even if you’re pretty bad off. Life is too beautiful and it has many things to offer. Don’t do what everyone else wants you to. Especially don’t do what society wants you to. Live your life for YOU and nothing else. I’m happy now because I have figured that out. I have tried so many times to end my life from OD’ing to slitting my wrists. None of […]
It all started a year and a half ago when I came home from school to find out that my mother had died from an drug overdose earlier that morning. Being a daughter of an former alcoholic father and drug addict mother, I’ve had some hard times. From neglect to some form of abuse. From moving into a new house every couple of months with other family to watching my mother slowly die on the bathroom floor from an overdose – again. I’ve been through many things that some people would never experience. Or so I’ve been told. That was probably the worst day of […]
I have a big problem telling fantasy from reality. And no i don’t there are like fairy puff princesses everywhere. i just had a really horrible friend that she ended up using me, and so it was fake but all the while i thought we were truly friends. That was one of many things that has lead me into deep depression, i cut, burn, and think about killing myself… there’s a lot more to the story, but i cannot go there, because i cannot come to terms with the past… i am fifteen the only boyfriend i have ever had dumped me because it was […]
hey all suicidal angels.. im calista.. well, im suicidal..it’s been awhile..ive tried it so many times but here I am, typing this up. How I wish im dead by now..i just dont wanna live but in some point,i feel i dont wanna commit suicide and pray to God that someone might stab me up or something..It can be anything,i just dont wanna live.
Since I was 5, my life really intense. Parents always want the best out of me, so I gave them all. I do so many things in life, Im always the best student in school and in college, i cook, i bake, i […]
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