This world has overcome me on a whole new level. This emptiness I feel just won’t leave.. It’s useless I really don’t know why I try. I should just lay here and slowly waste away. People ask if you could sit down for hours or days and think about where your life will be in 5 years or 10 years or maybe even just 2 months from now I’ll never have an answer. I can not see myself anywhere new unless it leads to death.. It’s the only way I feel I’ll find some sort of peace. The only way I’ll ever feel like I’ve […]
Tag:
maybe
… reading about all those people killing (or wanting to) themself makes me everyday sadder… why? why are you doing it? is it possible that there is no way to avoid it? I’m sure there is a way. I don’t even know who those people are… I don’t even know if they really did it… I don’t even know why… but I feel the weight of others decisions on myself… why? Maybe it is because I would save everyone… maybe because I think that it is a waste, a complete waste of hopes and dreams… or maybe because since that day, when I had the […]
I just can’t cry.
I feel like I really need to inside, and maybe if I could it’d make things better.
I haven’t cried in months.
Is this normal?
With a younger close friend. In some pain and alone. Trying to pry myself off the couch – I ve been here before. She’s with someone else I didn’t even know how much she counted until she told me about her new friend. I’m being obsessive and I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to creep her out either ( maybe too late). I’ve thought of giving up – I’m like scary needy. I know I’m putting way too much on her for my well being but you who have been in this hell know how effective logic is. It’s been […]
I used to think that they could all see me, and maybe they could, b no I real e I m st f d ng aw . .
My depression is continuing to get worse. I’ve reached a new point where I find that I’m actually starting to enjoy this feeling of despair. I’m starting to enjoy all of the emotional pain, the loneliness, the emptiness, the sorrow. It’s strange, just a few days ago I hated it and all I wanted was to be happy. But lately, I’ve been craving it. It almost gives me a kind of high. I think maybe it’s because I’ve been like this for so long, that it’s starting to grow comfortable. Happiness feels so foreign now, that I just want to crouch back into my dark […]
Hey all,
I found this site after I googled mania and how to sleep. Obviously nothing I found helped cause I’ve been reading posts all night.
I wanted to share my suicide experience and hopefully change someones mind or help them see the point in struggling and fighting through life. I have shared a lot about myself and feel comfortable with what I have divulged. Maybe my experiences are similar or maybe they shed light on mental illness and how it affects yourself and others. Maybe what I have confessed will give you the courage to speak openly with your friends and family and seek help […]
Have you learnt some pivotal life skills from a relative or older friend?
Has a friend or family member taught you some life skills that you swear by now?
Have you learnt some life skills over time as a result of harsh life experience?
Your contribution could be the one thing someone needs to hear to prevent the thought of self harm and maybe lift them from their depression.
I take people by face value, I never trust the testimony of others when determining an opinion on someone. I’ll listen and respect their comment, but at the end of the day, I’ll make my own decisions on who is […]
Hi all,
I am a bipolar, drug induced psychosis and suicide survivor.
My life was such chaos before diagnosis and I honestly don’t know how i made it out alive. I’ve had a few serious attempts. When I say serious, I mean more spontaneous, not planned, I was caught downing three months of antidepressants, had material rip when I tried to asphyxiate myself and my dogs eyes stopped me from driving us over a cliff. I have also had my cry for help attempts. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either. I wanted help, so I would tell someone that I was […]
So my sister found my account in some forum. Yesterday. My mother just told me some minutes ago.
They have been all this two days reading at my personal stuff. Things I’ve never said to them. My feelings, my private life. My sexual orientation doubts, my problems with friends, my problems with my father. All the things I’ve said about them. Also good stuff. When I met that girl. That night with that boy. Big parties with lots of alcohol, and those with something else. How they ended. Everything. I’ve been writing there since I was 17. Now I’m 25. Just imagine.
So, if I didn’t have […]
Everyday it is the same thing, get up go through my day, spend time with my daughter and my fiancée, occasionally talk to the few friends I have, clean or do school work. Sometimes I spend my spare time checking SP or Facebook which isn’t so bad but I swear it’s like a broken record playing through the same section of the same song and skipping in the same places everyday. I hate it. I wish it would change. Then I play it again. Every day. I don’t know why. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m a masochist. Not in a physical sense but emotionally. […]
I am a pessimist, I’ve always been that way ever since I can remember. I am that way because of my personal life experiences and some times its hard to look beyond that. How can I have hope that things will be better for me if in my life I’m only destined to reach a certain level of happiness. Maybe this doesn’t make any real sense but its what i’ve been thinking lately and how I kind of feel. I’m sad a lot, sadness that I haven’t felt for a long while. And it’s not over anything in particular really, I just feel sad and […]
When I read the comments to some stories, I wonder why people say the things they do. People who tell others to “stay strong” and “don’t give up” yet are overcome with manic depression and revolving thoughts of suicide. Why do we say things that are so hypocritical? I don’t understand. It frustrates me seeing that, it makes me think “Are these people real? Why are they on here saying these things when they themselves are on the verge of self destruction? I don’t believe they actually mean what they say; or maybe they say those things because they want someone to say the same […]
I’ve just been reading a post from about six months ago on here, and it saddens me how many users that commented on it no longer post on here.
I mean they could have turned their life around and maybe they not longer need a suicidal forum but I kind of suspect from the nature of their comments that they’re no longer with us.
What makes me even sadder is wondering who’ll still be here in six months. How many people I’ve spoken to on here on a daily basis for weeks will still be around.
I won’t be here in six months.
I wanted to keep trying and i wanted to live, but i literally can’t anymore. Im just a hollow shell of whoever i used to be. I thought that maybe i could be somebody, but i should have known better. Im nothing but a failure. I just want to be able to finally reach happiness i guess.
I don’t know how long I can even go on now. Everything anyone says just hurts to hear and I just want to be able to be strong, but I’m pretty sure thats just an unrealistic dream.
Everyone around me expects so much and they just say ‘Be happy!’ and […]
Trying not to break down but yet starting to slide into the cracks at the same time…. No one understands my pain or whats on my mind right now. Maybe this is a bad point one someone says there’s only one you because you are unique. The knife is still in my back not going in any deeper but still hanging in there leaving me numb except for those raw tears I’ve been crying of misery, pain…. Just wishing to get out of it like a butterfly leaving its cocoon. Late at night just to get a little shut eye. But even when I’m asleep […]
i used to wonder how people would react when they heard of my suicide
maybe thats why i never went through with it
i dont care how they react anymore
i know theyll be sad
… I can’t remember them that clearly anymore.
It doesn’t mean I didn’t spend hours staring into them, but times makes all memories hazy, even the best of them.
I’d like to imagine those beautiful eyes filled with tears when you’d heard what I’d done. Maybe they would if you saw what I’ve done to myself.
The mutilation.
It was never because of you, it was in spite of you. And in truth, I got off on the pain.
Why do I torture myself and peek behind the curtain to the world you’re still in? The world that everyone is in, but I’m not anymore.
I walked out of that world, […]
Hear I am. Stuck in the same fucking place. Repeating the same fucking task. Doing the same thing over and over again just so that I can blend in with the rest of the world and maybe just maybe I can be happy some day. I don’t know if I will ever be happy. I’m to fat, To stupid, and to emotionally in stable to do anything right. I’m diegnosed Ana and chronicly depressed. I just hate. Living, who made suicide wrong, aren’t we all jusrpt engineering ways to make like suck slightly less, why do we all choose to live in a world that […]
I’ve always wondered what would happen after I died. I think no one will miss me. I think that I am so broken and damaged I just cause other people pain. I can’t forget everything that has happened to me and move forward so easily. I just become a burden to others because of how weak I am. I used to be able to hide everything but I am just so tired I can’t bring myself to pretend everything is okay anymore. I am tired of talking to people and trying to fix myself. Sometimes I find myself hoping that I will get stronger, get […]