Tag:

maybe

I Hate My Skin

by emptinessinme 10/23/2014

written by emptinessinme

I’ve realized that nothing amuses me or makes me happy. My life is becoming a boring routine. I’m in college and yes, I have different classes every day but it’s all the same to me.

Today, I woke up at 5:20. I don’t drive so I have to rely on someone who has their own business to drop me off. I went to class, where I almost fell asleep in. Now I have this huge gap, 4 hours, until my last class. I have no friends here. I don’t talk to anyone. I don’t mind it but it gets boring. Then I’ll most likely go […]

10/23/2014 2 comments

I want to disappear

by hazelnut 10/23/2014

written by hazelnut

Sometimes I really wish to disappear for a while

I feel so lonely . Not really that I have no friends

its that I think no one will devote all of them for me

i am willing to prepare and spend a lot of effort for my beloved ones . But I just think no one will do the same for me

no one will actually treasure me and put me as their priority

I have bff and bf . But I’m just confused of my importance to them

Also I got a lot of stress from my schoolworks

im going to take the public examination and I have to work extremely […]

10/23/2014 3 comments

Last night, I got a long hug. And someone listened to me.

by AmIStuckNow 10/22/2014

written by AmIStuckNow

Someone really helped me. It’s long, but I want to put it into words and share.

Yesterday I felt extremely lonely. Devoid of all emotion. I just…couldn’t feel anything at all.

Almost anything. Just when I looked in the mirror and saw age spots and gray hair on someone so young it just showed the fighting I’ve been doing and stress of my life. At that moment I felt anger, worthlessness, and wasted years. It was like all of the emotions I’ve felt were physically manifesting themselves as a cruel reminder, every time I look the mirror – looking back at me.

I was thinking about suicide…again…but I […]

10/22/2014 5 comments

10 days left

by Roars Kilde 10/22/2014

written by Roars Kilde

And I still can’t do anything.
It doesn’t even feel like something big hanging over my head, I know it’s coming, I know there is probably several possibilities to avoid it, but at this point, I just don’t care anymore.

I thought maybe the closer it got and it would be that kick in the butt I needed to do something, do anything. Instead it’s just more of the same, the days are the same as they’ve always been. But it doesn’t upset me, it doesn’t even worry me, I know it’s going to happen, and I realize what it means. And I still just don’t […]

10/22/2014 6 comments

Tonight?

by JustLauren 10/21/2014

written by JustLauren

Hello SP,

Well…I thought someone should know. Maybe that way, someone could care. Perhaps.

I had planned my suicide for the end of November, but current circumstances has bumped the date up to tonight. The plan is to overdose. Now in case this doesn’t work out, I have a school paper I have to finish and email to my professor so if I do fail, I don’t screw up the rest of my life (such as school). But I can only hope that this works. I took off of work tomorrow morning so that, in case I fail, I don’t have to come in. I’ll be too […]

10/21/2014 6 comments

I Believe All Kinds Of Strange Things

by harikiri 10/21/2014

written by harikiri

Anyone else?

Like that many gods are currently walking the earth, with special powers bringing about miraculous change in the world.

You dear reader, may be one for all I know.

My life on this planet so far has sucked in a big way and I frequently want out, but I have committed myself instead to trying to create a new world from the ashes of the old.

I have seen many visions and dreamed many dreams. My ‘crazy’ reality is way realer than what this mundane existence would indicate.

I’m here because I want out of all of this shit every bit as much as any of you. But […]

10/21/2014 7 comments

The suicide gang

by Sweet_Kenny 10/20/2014

written by Sweet_Kenny

I think a lot of people approach the whole meaningless life and suicide thing incorrectly.

I think people who are suicidal can be the most courageous because they realize that life is meaningless and so have nothing to lose.

Why not create “The Suicide Gang” and use this state of mind to do crazy things. Things that will make a difference just because they breathe life into a boring world. You can consider it stupid or pointless but so is life.

Ideas:

1) Buy a costume and walk around town in it – just wave at traffic. They don’t know who you are so have fun with it. Who […]

10/20/2014 12 comments

Thought Log 10/20/2014

by argh 10/20/2014

written by argh

Just an idea – I want to have a look at these later one day. Maybe writing things down will help.

Been up for about an hour and this is what’s crossed my mind thus far during the typical morning coffee.

– $1100 in checking and mortgage coming up. Might not make it again. Who won’t get paid so I can make the mortgage this time? Electric already called twice… Maybe cell phones?

– Need to get my W9 form in to the second job today.

– Grew up poor, wasn’t going to be poor when I got older, here I am. Good job.

– How sad – 30 years and […]

10/20/2014 6 comments

School is Killing Me!

by Jumper97 10/20/2014

written by Jumper97

School is like literally stressing me out and making me feel alone and depressed. I’m not gonna graduate High School, im about a semester behind, my counselor said it already, maybe there is hope for me to graduate, she said, maybe. I’m wasn’t born in the U.S. and I got all the permits from the Dream Act and if I don’t graduate, then they’ll strip them away and throw me back to the country I was born in, although, I was born in Mexico, The U.S. is my home, I was raised here, I came here when I was 4, im 16 now (17 in […]

10/20/2014 5 comments

When will this end?

by Angeleyes42 10/15/2014

written by Angeleyes42

I should never have come back here to school. I should have listened to my intuition and stayed home and gone to beauty school or something. After getting trampled by a horse I should have known that was a sign. I cant even bridle the horse and all i ever do is cry. Im such a crybaby i wish i knew how to make it stop. People tell me i don’t belong here and maybe i should listen. I wish i could die in my sleep from all this pain. I’m so done. And my roommate doesn’t even care about me she just wants […]

10/15/2014 1 comment

It’s so blunt, I can’t help but laugh

by Lsari 10/14/2014

written by Lsari

It has been a while but I guess this was inevitable, I really tried to cut deeper but the knife was just so blunt. I just couldn’t feel the sadness that I know I should feel. I feel so empty and lifeless, this at least made me feel something. Just like last time, I started shallow and then gradually I will cut deeper and deeper.

People often mistake cutters for attention seekers and while it is true I am posting my picture in a public space, I […]

10/14/2014 9 comments

meditation fail

by 45caliberdeath 10/13/2014

written by 45caliberdeath

I’ve been trying to meditate recently to clear my mind of suicidal thoughts. I plan on doing it in the next six months. But, in the meantime, I’ve got to get some stuff in order. I don’t want to live the next few months planning out my suicide. I want to live well and try new things before I die. And hell, maybe, just maybe, one of those new things will lead to something that makes me want to live again?

So I read that meditation can help with suicidal or obsessive thoughts. I decided to try it out. But I just can’t do it. I […]

10/13/2014 5 comments

I cant do this anymore

by maggieo1 10/13/2014

written by maggieo1

I’m so sick of being literally ignored by the people around me of these extreme feelings. Literally ignored. I say something, and they act as if nothing was said. I attempted suicide before, and I want to do it again. I do not know why I couldnt have just died the first time. As if anybody cares. If anybody cared I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I have sought help through counseling but I have found it to not work for me. I find myself wanting to hang myself everyday. I want to so much. I know its my only hope but I […]

10/13/2014 1 comment

A Few Kind Souls

by EvilKitten 10/11/2014

written by EvilKitten

At the suggestion of a few of you on here, I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign.

Here is the link to my fundraiser.

http://www.gofundme.com/youngwidow

Please share this link with anyone that you think might be willing to help. Even $5 is greatly appreciated.

Those of you who have read my posts and interacted with me on here probably know this about me already. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help. I’m the stubborn person who always tries to fix my problems all by myself. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a horrible situation right now. Perhaps the Universe is trying to […]

10/11/2014 14 comments

Odds and ends

by Kailee3 10/9/2014

written by Kailee3

After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]

10/9/2014 0 comment

huh?

by death bunny 10/6/2014

written by death bunny

I posted about an hour ago a post named something like “maybe we already are living in the afterlife and got doomed to hell” and it got deleted. There was nothing in the content. Anybody know why it got deleted?

10/6/2014 3 comments

Who’s from Reno, or surrounding areas?

by EvilKitten 10/5/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m bored and need friends. Chatting in person is pretty nice. So I’m wondering who here is from Reno or within reasonable distance. Maybe we can get a support group going here or just have coffee and try to feel “normal” for a little while.

10/5/2014 2 comments

Silly rabbit..

by AfflictedSmile 10/5/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

I gave myself a year to see if I could turn things around. I mean I’ve tried new things and experienced more, but none of that really made a difference. I’m still the same hallow shell I was before.

It’s like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You can move them around all you want, but the ships still going under. I haven’t gone under yet, but I can feel the chill in the air from the icy waters I’m soon to plunge into.

Life will swallow me whole as I sink into the depths of darkness. And despite the year not being over yet, I’m […]

10/5/2014 3 comments

Another shitty story.

by RamzanKadyrov 10/4/2014

written by RamzanKadyrov

Figured I’d vent on a perfectly nice Saturday afternoon since it’s not like I’m gonna be doing anything else for the rest of the weekend. To start off, I don’t have any tragic or sad past. I’ve never had a near death (or near life, for that matter) experience, never been molested by a strange uncle in a Garfield mask, never had some heartbreaking-ly awful romantic incident. Just a boring white male who’s lived a trite and meaningless life.

I wouldn’t say I’m depressed in a traditional sense, I don’t spend hours in bed trying to get up or experience general lethargy, but I sincerely want […]

10/4/2014 2 comments

Okay, picture this:

by Engie 10/3/2014

written by Engie

You just got out of a mental hospital a month ago and you see someone you met inside walking down the street with someone else. You really want to say ‘hi’ to her, but then the thought occurs to you that maybe the person she’s walking with doesn’t know she was in a mental hospital. Maybe he/she is like, a work colleague or something.

What would you say if she tries to introduce you to her friend? Would you make something up like “uh, yeah, we met in… um…” (come on, think, dammit, think!) “… church” (argh dammit why did I say that? I’m an atheist)

Do you just keep […]

10/3/2014 2 comments

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