For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first […]
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Meds
I have batteled depression since I was a teen, I am 31 now. I just started really getting treatment and tring to stick with it over the past year or two. I have a wonderful truley caring psychiatrist and am on a number of meds as she tries to find something that works.  In the mean time suciadal thoughts and idealations are a part of everyday life, I just want to be shut out and isolated from everyone so far that my mind keeps putting thoughts into my heads as to ways to kill myself. And I have tried, twice as a teen and twice […]
I’m 26. Bipolar, student, mom. When I was a teenager my father shot himself and survived(thankfully) in our home. Every since that day my life change forever. I wasn’t the happy girl anymore. I thought as I got older things would get better, but my husband recently left us. I was abused in just about every way, but I am beyond sad over this loss. I constantly think about death and suicide. I also feel like a horrible parent. I wanted nothing more than to have a happy family for my son, but our home life was a nightmare. But now I have no one […]
Im just so depressed I can’t get out of bed today nor can I sleep. I want to get up its just I feel like I have no use for it
Tomorrow I’m going to my friends..the first time since I got on my meds. She knows about them and so does get mom but I’m still nervous about taking it just because I try to keep it hidden.
I just cant make it stop. The thoughts are flooding my mind and I cant identify real from unreal. The meds arent working and I want to dissapear. Im numb and want to feel pain.
4th of July is in two days, that’s the day i had planned to end it all. I have this amazing guy who walked into my life and makes thinks better but life is still hard. I stooped taking my meds bcz i wanted to think clearly on whether i would go trough with my plans or not. I still have no idea of what im going to end up doing. My boyfriend does not make it easier on me. He knows all about it and he does not want to lose me, he said he can see himself marrying me in the future. I […]
hey guys.. its saturday night and im writing this! dandy! i just moved in to the states.. and yeah things are definitely different.. hard to adapt.. *puh* so i’m spending this saturday night in.. alone.. and.. listening to NYC by Interpol! wow! haha..
anyways.. I just wanna share my story.. i dunno what I’m getting out of this.. but.. it’s been tough I came off my meds.. a while back.. I popped some e’s over the last year that definitely did not help.. I just don’t feel things the way I used to.. makes it twice as hard to get a girl.. or anything really..
shy as […]
I’ve been taking antidepressants for years and they work for a while but then the black moods always come back. I switched my meds again but I just don’t feel right. I wish I had the money to see a psychotherapist on a weekly basis but I don’t. I just really need some one to talk to. If I thought that shooting heroin into my veins would help me I would try it. I feel so desperate and alone. I love my daughter so much and I know that if I killed myself it would really mess up […]
My wife of 7 years left 3months ago and it still feels like the first day.she has a new bf wich she says shes in love with now.that
realy fucked me up.realy bad.the thought of them holding hands or kissing kills me and the thought of them makeing love makes me physicly ill i want to vomit.each day i pray all day to die and i even try about a month ago.thay put me in the hospital for about a week and i had to lie and tell them i wouldnt try again so thay would let me out.we have 4 year old son […]
I am in my late 20s, in a lesbian relationship, and diagnosed borderline personality disorder and have depression. I’ve been going to therapy for a few months and have been taking my meds as prescribed.
I have a degree in psychology and a Masters degree in forensic psychology. I enjoy running, surfing, basketball, snowboarding, and wakeboarding. I love my family.
My mother is understanding and supportive, as are my younger siblings. I also have some support from a few good friends.
However, my relationship is a chaotic rollercoaster and I can’t bare it anymore. The anger and pain have disolved my strength to keep going.
At […]
Thursday morning… This existence is painful, I cant take it anymore. I have no friends all of them have betrayed me, or fucked me over. My family offers no support with anything that I’ve ever done. Every girl I’ve ever met has used me, cheated on me, then got their new boyfriends to bash me. I was abused as a child by step father, and abandoned my real father. Every choice I’ve ever made has been wrong in someones eyes. My best friend overdosed on ice, and has been in a psych ward for the past 3 years, he doesn’t even know who I am. […]
I go from being manic to being depressed. Sometimes a little of both at the same time.
I go from being on top of the world to just wanting to die.
This cycle never ends… Im not sure what it’s like to feel normal…
I wish I was normal, but at the same time I don’t.
I like being manic too much. That’s why I always stop taking the meds. I wish I could be manic forever…
It never ends…
Hello, I’m new to the site.
My name is Jaspar and I think I’m going to die…
What to say? I came to this site out of desperation…I’ve tried everything, therapy, meds which just leave me feeling sick. nothing is working. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m scared, so very scared of dieing…but the pain of life is too great and Depression got the best of me. I’m actually almost…excited? that I may end my suffering and go into an eternal sleep. I just have to find the right method of suicide now. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like death is fucking calling me. My […]
This is my first non poem post in a long time. If you haven’t seen them, please look them up and tell me what you think. Anyway, on to the post.
I did it. I managed to get myself discharged from all psychiatric treatment. No more therapists, no more psychologists, no more meds or anything. It’s bittersweet. I knew they weren’t helping, but I don’t know what else to do. Everything they did wasnt working, so im back to my own methods of coping. So what if they’re unhealthy? They work. One joint makes me feel better for longer than a weeks worth of SSRIs. […]
I feel like I’m preparing to kill myself without even trying. My depression is getting worse and worse. I don’t take any meds except 5-htp, this natural supplement and who the fuck knows if it even works. I definitely feel hopeless. I’m alone. All my friends moved away and have lives and I’m just their facebook friend now. So, I deleted my facebook. I was active on blogtv and had friends there, so I deleted that. All I’ve kept is twitter and skype to talk to my online girlfriend but she’s getting fed up with my negativity and falling asleep while skyping. She’s 3 hours […]
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
i don’t know why i decided that writing everything down was a good idea. let along on the internet. i guess on here nobody knows who i am and its not somewhere where somebody from my end can find it.
i am a selfharmer/suicidal. have been since i was about 16. i am now nearly 20. it started when my bestfriend died in a car accident. i started self distructing a couple months later. i could not get over her death. then somebudy noticed, a teacher, he threatened to go to the school welfare co-ordinator unless i talked to him. so i chose to talk to […]
I haven’t done anything yet but I’m about to either cut really deep or go down some meds. I need help from anyone. Please I just need to talk. If I don’t comment back, either my iPod is taken away or my panic attack may get the best of me. Please someone talk to me. I need the distraction or I might not be here tomorrow…
I am fully aware that I need help but there is nothing that helps. I have tried hospitialization, every type of therapy, had around 15 therapists, been on 20 different meds, tried meditation, talking. I’ve tried it all and nothing helped. I am not able to feel joy or love, I am always deeply depressed for 7 years. I cannot function around people and haven’t had contact with anybody except my family for 6 months. I get paranoid at night and can’t sleep. I have an unknown chronically painful stomach problem that even though I have had every medical test known to man twice, […]
I wish i could die right now. The pain hurts my body so much. I cry and everyone sees but no one cares. My husband doesn’t care about anything except his own happiness. My mom always reminds me of how fucked up i am and how everyone else has it worse than i do.
I have been on meds for a long time now and they have plateaued. I just want this pain to stop.
My babies see me crying all the time and I think about them and if i was gone how it would be. but to […]