I wouldn’t have pictured myself here 3 years ago, let alone a week ago. I have failed so many. I have caused stresses for family and nearly every person’s life I have touched. My family chooses to love me because they are good people. They are not the type of people who deserve pain. Thank you for your effort. I had good intentions with my life 7-8 years ago but I came across one too many closed doors. I stayed strong. Believing, good is repaid with good and hard work leads to better futures. This was not the case for me. I am not in denial, this is […]
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Mirror
The new me… thats what im hearing from everyone. Thats what i see when i look in the mirror. I have been depressed for the past 5 to 6 months… yes its taken that long for them to give a crap. My gp wants to put me on anti depressants. Go figure. I hate all these people that think they are so helpful and supportive. Youre not me… you never will be so please leave me alone. You have NO idea what im going through or what it feels like so LEAVE ME ALONE! Stop pretending to understand and care coz lets face it … […]
I don’t like the greedy psychiatrist that shoves pills down everyone’s throat in order to buy a $300 tie. I don’t like the yuppies that play golf on a nice evening while slavekind pays off their “debts”. I don’t like the alcoholics. I don’t like the party-ers. I don’t like the girl that is so desperate for attention to the point of it being sickening. I don’t like the person that doesn’t say “hello” when I say “hello”. I don’t like the soccer moms that think they’re properly raising their children, when they’re not. I don’t like politicians. I don’t like “famous people”. I don’t like the […]
I’m 23 years old. I’ve been depressed for over a decade. I attempted suicide at the age of 12, trying to hang myself with my bedsheets. I gave up because I had nothing I could hang myself from that would support my weight.
All through my school years, I never seemed able to make friends. I kept to myself and read books.
Up until recently- maybe two years ago- the exact reasons for my depression were unclear to me. I finally figured out that I was transgender, and I managed to push past the stereotypes on TV of “men in dresses, heels and heavy makeup”, and met […]
i don’t know how to continue on with my everyday life. in my family, among my friends, nobody knows how i feel.
i hate who i am, i hate how weak i am, i didn’t get abused by my family or anyone at all, i’ve got both my parents so i keep telling myself im not allowed to feel sorry for myself, so many people is worse off than me. but i still feel sorry, and that makes me hate me more.
i’ve been sad and hurting since i started noticing my mother wasn’t normal, she and my dad are devorced. and my two older sisters never took […]
I can’t say that my parents are divorced, or say that they fight or that I’m unhappy with anyone. But there are some things in my life I would like to change:
1)Make friends.
2)Stop cutting.
3) Recover from my endless depression.
My parents they are ordinary parents. They want the best for me. To go to University, get a good job and have a loving husband and children.But sometimes the pressure gets way too overwhelming. What if I mess up in high school? What if I don’t become doctor? What will happen then? I let my parents down, who sacrificed everything for my well being.
Sometimes I […]
My parents say I want to call attention. That the way I dress demands attention. That I embarrassed them. I don’t try to. I just can’t be myself. I see myself In the mirror and all I see is a fat lard. I hate my skin tone, my eyes, my hair, my body! I hate it all! So I try to make it better! I try to hide my fat body under layers of clothes. I hide my face under make up! I hide my ugly untamed frizzy shit colored hair under dye. I change how I look! And only when I change it I […]
I know I’ve posted quite a few things on here, and they aren’t exactly like most things that people post up. Some of  you may think that I’m on drugs or something, because I tend to be too positive (if there is such a thing!), it’s just that I know what it’s like battling your personal demons. I started cutting 6 years ago, and some days I just want to end it all.
I know how it feels like to hate everything that you are. Changing yourself completely to make others like you. Changing so much that when you look in the mirror you can’t […]
After elementary school I found that people just get more annoying as they age- either that or i just grow annoyed more easily. In the past couple of years i’ve basically stopped communicating with my peers in fear of being judged. Yes, i’m “normal” around the few close friends i have- one of which tried to kill herself just last year, and another who tells me he thinks about it. Well, i think about it too. In fact, i think about it often. The only thing is i could never bring myself to do it. I used to call myself a coward, but now i […]
it’s sad to think i’m only fifeteen and i have tried to kill myself two times. yes two times. my mom found me both times, in the bathroom. In seventh grade i lost my best friend to suicide, i just wanted to see her. so i thought if i cut deeper i would bleed out. i passed out and i woke up in the hospital. they gave me pills for depression and i had to go to therapy. the second time i tried to i almost OD on pills i found in my moms room, i couldn’t get the bottle open and i was screaming […]
i always write here when i feeling some type of way, and right now i do.
I hate the fact that i think about suicide 24/7. when i do something bad, when someone yells at me, when my parent argue, when i get bad grades, when i look at myself in the mirror, when im standing next to my best friend, when people are starring at me, anything. I really feel like im going to commit suicide on march 31st. Â I have a gut feeling i am, im just so really ready to die. im so ready for all of this to just stop, im not […]
I’m…I don’t know what I am. Depressed? Bipolar? According to a medical diagnosis, probably not. I’ve read stories on here that speak of not being able to even get up in the morning, who can’t find the will to do anything. I, however, get up, I go to school, put on a smile, talk to people, act normal. Inside, I’m a complete mess. School is like my own personal hell. I really don’t have friends. I’m so alone and yet surrounded by people. I hate life. I want to die. God, how I just want to end this torture. There are some days I actually […]
If i could find the courage to kill myself, this is what my death message will say!! ver.1.0
I decided that I didn’t want to be a sufferer any more and took on this terrible selfishness that is probably hurting you right now! The selfishness took over me and I couldn’t get over feeling sorry for my broke life. I don’t want you guys to feel sorry for me, because I don’t deserv it for selfishly killing myself, and maybe hurting you in the long run!! I am sorry that you had encountered me in your life for why I terribly just killed my self! Please […]
It’s like the universe has left me, Without a place to go, Without a hint of light, To watch the movement glow, When our song was slowly starting, Your memory felt so real, At first against my will, But God invented chills….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I told my friend, lydia about my ‘troubles’ earlier this year… and she showed me this poem. I thought it was amazing, so naturally I wanted to share it…. she will probably have a strong dislike towards me considering she told me I was the only one to read it….
“Hands shaking violently I open my soul.
I let my spirit pour out onto the carpet
And watch as it takes form.
It’s me, A little piece of me.
Every night I stand in front of the mirror
And see what I am.
What I hate.
What I have to change.
So I carve away to […]
It has officially been one year since I could stand to look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even know who i have become, on the inside or on the outside. It had been a year since I felt purely happy. I’m not sure if I can face a whole year again.
I stare in the mirror and see my reflection.Â
The girl standing there isn’t beautiful.Â
Beautiful is what I want to be,Â
Even if it is only in the eyes of the one I love.Â
But beautiful I will never be for my love sees me through my eyes.Â
Tears fun down my face as I take that blade, I cut deep so that I can forget my sorrowÂ
and focus on the pain.
Im scared to see what I’ve become to I distract myself. Amakua made me realize this.
I’d tell people my problems on how I’d cut and puke so they could distract me… But really these people didn’t give a shit about my problems…..
I look in the mirror and see the person I let everyone else see. But I don’t see me. Why can’t I see myself??
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle….!…..
Well, im still alive … i thought about it …. i can’t do it .. people depend on me and proud of my self .. i can’t do that to my mother .. she loves me soo much and she wont stop crying if i left. but i really cant help it but i said some things that i shouldnt have .. there is this girl in my school and she is just the biggest ***** … Taylor is her name … she has made my life a living hell .. she can’t ever leave me alone . she always  knows that she is bulling me […]
im sick and tired of people calling me ugly, or saying i look like a dude, or have a “boyish face” I’m sick of people saying “I’d pick ____ over morgan any day”
becuz when i look in the mirror. I’m happy with what i see, i feel beautiful. and in my mind i think i am. even tho i get called ugly at least once a week.
i just don’t get how not many other people can see that I’m beautiful like how i see myself.
i have been texting my friend (he’s a guy) for the past week. and today he told me “i like making […]