I just miss and crave the not so occasional drinks that would lead to reckless behavior because at this moment when I want to feel something I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. I’m not suicidal but I know that what I am feeling leads up to it. And no one can know. Everyone had their life together again but me. I feel so alone. I literally don’t feel like I belong in my own skin. I don’t like anything that I am right now or have become these past few months.
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bullies in the army. Some shitbags making fun of Abagis for being gay, he was accepted by us back at basic training. For him to slit his wrists and be chaptered out for his suicide attempts. I want to hurt those bastards for that yet i take no action against my bullies on the homefront in the army. I should just fight back full fledged (starts out with shit talking then gets physical and i punch back and they kick harder and suddenly theyre beating on me in formations. I guess i should be the one beating on them. The. It’ll be fights behind closed […]
to be honest, all what i think about now is killing myself. there is absolutely nothing good about my life. i know people have it worse, but i can’t bare with it anymore. i just want to jump in front of a car and die. i know my family will act like they miss me, but i am positive they’d be happy that i am gone. same with my friends. in fact, i don’t even have many friends. maybe 2 at the most. i just want to mean something to someone, i want to mean something to myself.
I’m tired of people saying that they understand my situation that I should just get over it. I’m sorry my unhappiness is bothering you, would you like me to leave? Like holy shit. I get it I may be a downer but back the fuck up and revaluate yourself, you aren’t little miss perfect either. I make mistakes, I do stupid things I’m human just like you and the rest of this world.
Just wondering if anyone here would miss me at all if I offed myself. I come here to vent and wallow. Really I probably come off as an asshole. I see a lot of people here posting saying they care about people here. Idk if I can believe that. We are just words behind a keyboard. You don’t know me. We have never met and probably never will. Why ? How do you vet attached to words on a screen?
I just want someone to relate to with this. I can’t tell anyone because nobody understands. I don’t know why I do the things I do, ehy I push away the ppl who try to help me. I have such a title to live up to. I’m getting the help I’ve needed for six months, and maybe these pills can repair my brain and help me be who I used to be. I miss me.
Fuck caring ,fuck all those tears i cried for you
Fuck all the time i tried to make shit right
Fuck the lies ,fuck the pain! Fuck being the only one who ever stuck up for your ass
Fuck all the “i love you” ,fuck the fact that i gave my heart to someone who just walked all over it!
Fuck all the cheaters ,fuck all the backstabbers!
Fuck all the people you thought were your friends ,fuck all the betrayals ,fuck all the manipulations!
Fuck all the feeling were hurt ,fuck the trust , fuck being there for you!
Fuck all the late nights […]
I’ve been so close to almost call him or text him saying that I love him, so much. That I miss him so much. I thought that being drunk would help me to do that, cause I get more sensible, thought that would help me to do it by impulse, but not even drunk I can. I’m such a coward and I’m so fucking afraid.
I cant live with myself anymore after he left ,i just hate myself so much for not being good for him ,i hate myself for having an ugly personality and ugly face and ugly body and i hate myself for being stupid and not being good at anything! I just hate that im not one of his sexy smart pretty friends ,i hate that he left me ,i hate that i cant rewind ,i hate that i cant get over him and i hate how much i miss him!.
Hey. I’m back again, and so soon. I don’t know…I’m just getting worse. She doesn’t even care about me anymore…I want to tell her that I want to kill myself, but I’m not sure she will care. I’m laying in bed right now. I didn’t go to school today because of a neck injury. It’s common sense that I’m not going to tell anyone this in real life, but the injury is because I tried to strangle myself. I figured it wouldn’t work, but I suppose it was just trying to relieve some of my frustration. But the injury kept me home from school today, […]
I just want my dad back Well im new here, as you can tell this is my first note? Story? Im not sure what these would be called on here, i just know that i found this site for, I’m not sure but some reason, and i feel the need to finally get my feelings out somewhere. Well i don’t want people to feel bad for me or anything, just that i need to let this out, when i was younger i had a great life, well i did but the bad things where always covered up so i never knew what was […]
I really miss that happy and funny smile
that laugh that come from the bottom of your heart.. now it’s different.. it’s a.. I don’t know what it is.. but nobody notice that..
sometimes I’m tired of getting drunk to feel that extremely happiness that I used to feel every second of my life.. it was always there.. that happiness was my best friend.. now I only have a few friends.. thousands of “Friends” and other thousands of haters (I think that fighting with them halp me to remember that happiness..)
I miss my smile..
Im will still waiting for that ***** because I’m tired […]
I need help i can’t decide if i should live anymore here’s some reasons why 🙁
1. My Real dad died when i was young
2. My step dad blames me for all his fights the he starts
3. My sister has said to me she hates me
my bffl: so here’s a message  i hope you like me you’ve bin one of the nicest friends too me you’ve helped me stuck up for me played with me i trusted you with all my secrets you make me laugh all the time i love you as a friend
Mum: i love you you’ve done nothing to me it’s not your […]
I don’t think I can go on any longer, so I finally decided to do it. I tried suicide once before, but I chickened out and told my parents who took me to the ER. I feel sick, I disgust myself. So young in life and I already want to die. Want to know why? Because I’m too sane for this world. People go on everyday not knowing any answers, just living paycheck to paycheck. I am not skilled, I don’t try in school so I do badly. I’m unwilling to work for a good life, so I hope for a better work ethic in […]
I wear a smile well, it’s my best accessory
I do it because I know it’s necessary
Behind the smile it’s revealed I’m dying inside
And it’s amazing the world buys all the lies.
Nobody will ever know
That the pain doesn’t let me go
It will haunt me until the day I die
I don’t want my tears to stain the world outside.
Trapped in a world I’m not good enough for
What am I still doing here?
Only in death will I find some of bliss
I know that I won’t be missed.
Dawg. He used to be on here a lot, where is he? Has he finally done it? I miss his wisdom and experience. Dawg was one of the best.
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