Hey there guys…its me again…well today started out bad and hasn’t got much better really on the bright side dad had to leave for school today and wont be back till at least Tuesday or Wednesday, but he couldn’t leave on a good note. He had to tell me i was a lazy useless fat ass so i’ve decided until i get down to a better weight today was my last time eating. I’m sick of his mouth i’m sick of living in this house and having to have a worthless father who i feel like doesn’t want me here anyway. On another note mom did […]
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Mom
i have been feeling pretty good after me and my boyfriend got back together he made me feel so happy again and the happiest girl in the world, me and him was all that mattered to me. I got him back and only realized after he moved away this week that i was so dependent on him too make me happy, he is the only reason i want to get out of bed some days! he said he would come back after two months but lets not bull shit our self he is most likely going to stay with his parents alot longer then two […]
I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve never been good at opening up to people, never really had any close friends who I can actually trust to tell this to. My parents, pshh I’d have more luck venting to my dog. So excuse me if I seem nervous.
I’m turning 24 in 4 days. A lot has happened to me in these 23 years of life. Not a lot of them good. And the worst things have happened within the last year.
I wish I was a kid again. Being a kid is so damn easy. You have not a single care in the world, other […]
In all my life, I’ve been strong, my father died, my mom left me, I had eating disorders. And I got over everything, but now I just can’t anymore! My grandma doen’t talks to me because Iof his brother, he almos raped me! And she doen’t even know, and if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me cause she loves him more than she loves me she trusts him, he told her I was rude, liar, and that I was on drugs, and she believed, now looks like I’ve been kicked from my own famil. So, I had to move (I left my soulmate in […]
Words hurt, but actions hurt most.
This is my first post.
I wish someone really understand me. I think I’m going to commit suicide tonight. I know that my family will be better without me. Everyone will be better without me. If nobody support me, Why should I live? I wanted to do a lot of things in my life, but nobody’s approval. I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I’m sick of people telling what to do, what is right and what is wrong. They drive me crazy and then they says I’m a psycho. I hate lies! Why is more easy to invent, to make a lie, when is […]
Yesterday my boyfriend Jonathan wanted to see me naked, and so i told him no. He told me how hard it was to not get things that he wanted, and i was getting a little frustrated over it and i said to him; “Just forget it, if there was a chance i would ever do that, it is gone now.” and then after that he told me; “Im not in the mood for this, my life sucks, bye.” then i said to him “And you think i’m in the mood? get over yourself. life isn’t perfect, and it will never be perfect, and i have […]
You never know how alone you really are until you look around and no one is there. Yes, I have friends who say that they’re there for me, but are they really? Well, that’s what they want me to think. By them telling me that they are, they think I believe it. Where are they now? Where have they been? They may be here physically, right beside me most of the time, but they aren’t really. For the last two years I have suffered from depression, gone though a long phase of anorexia, bulimia and cutting, no one knows about my struggle other than my closest […]
I feel like everyday I just closer and closer to it. Everything is just to much for m to take and I feel like no one even cares. I have some friends, but they wouldn’t care, they don’t even like me, no one likes me. Maybe some family would care, but they have to they’re family. My mom wouldn’t care though. She =’s never cared. I’m just a waste. Someone much better could come along and take my place, they would forget and everything would be fine for them.
I don’t WANT to kill myself-right now I am afraid to-but if I had the courage I would do it.
I was severely depressed before my mom died 6 weeks ago but I have been EXTREMELY depressed ever since then.
I do not want to talk with someone on the phone right now-just online-ideally IM chat with them-one on one.
Can ANYONE steer me in right direction?
Thank you.
A few days ago i was in choir when my directer told us to shut our eyes and think of something sad. So we all shut our eyes and suddenly a sad memory popped into my head. This is what i thought…
A few years ago there was this really nice family that my family was friends with. There was a Mom a Dad and a little girl named Emmria. The little girls parents would yell some times but not too much. But one day thee were yelling and the mom left. They broke up and the little girl was sad. The dad missed the mom […]
I’m almost 22, but I feel old. People have said that I am an old soul, but I think that’s just because I’ve had too much alone time to think. I’ve been mistrustful of people since I was a kiddo, and since then I have become isolated and friendless. My two younger brothers are going through their own psychological trials and keep to themselves. My older sister was like a beast when we were little, and I can’t even bring myself to express how much I resent the ways she manipulated and hurt me. I hardly talk to her. My mom is emotionally distant, due […]
Sometimes, I just can’t believe what  has happened to me. I just can’t. Why? My life is absolute shit and embarrassing. I mean, when you’re depressed, you can talk to someone about it. Well, I can’t with my problem. It is absolutely embarrassing. Here is the one and only time I will talk about my problem.
I am currently in highschool, and I’ve been having halitosis for 4 years. Halitosis is a symptom where you’re paranoid about smelling bad. Worst is, I DO smell bad. AGH, that just hurt.. even saying it. Imagine, everyday, dreading to go to school, dreading to stand next to your crush, […]
I want to scream. Scream until I lose my voice. I have no way to communicate with anyone who I can actually talk to for a few weeks. Cole is in a mental hospital, so there goes person number one. My mom took my phone, so there goes Devin, Andrew, and well those are the only people I can talk to.
I would have been able to talk to cole during visit and calling hours, but no. I don’t have my fucking phone. Why? because my mom was explaining something to me for the third time, even though i already understood. So I tell her she […]
Tired of everything, already on anti-depresants but I’m not depressed I’m tired of it all, just plain tired of living.
I swear if I hear one more person say “God has a plan for you” I will scream!!! I was raised in church and these are the plans he’s had for me I’m screwed. No one on earth listens and I’m more than absolutely sure He doesn’t care either so if that’s where you are coming from, don’t bother.
A woman said to me the other day that I just need to make a choice and stick to it (she meant chosing God) well I’m making my […]
As part of my behavior intervention plan it was decided that i shouldnt come on here as often.My plan for death after the family trip is still in motion.Im aware that i could die but its to late to stop cause everything has all been planned out.And for me i dont stop when ive decided to do something.Theres no turning back.Its sad cause my mom said today that ive changed and grown a lot.I agree with her in all ways except one and that is im still sad.Just this general doom and gloom about everything.I cant even call my friend from the hospital cause im […]
i feel like im going in inase i keep on talking to myself and im getting crept out by my self. im trying so hard to be HAPPY again for the first time in a really long time but its so hard. so my mom made me practice a 10 sencond part for 10 minutes because SHE didnt thinkit was good enough and tonight i was doing a project on her laptop adn she keept on bugging in adn tellling me what to do!!!! i am so close to a breakdown right now i literally have tears in my eyes while im writing this. i […]
This is my very first post on here, and I want to tell you my story..
My name is Emily and I’m a Freshman at High School. Everything seems to be going good so far, It’s an all-girl school so we never judge each other and I’ve made many new friends. Although, it wasn’t always this good. Truth is, I can’t stand my family.. My mother is just that type of person that is hard to love, she’s stubborn and very bossy. My older sister isn’t much better. She’s the cause of all of my problems. From six grade, she would always call me names and […]
Today was ok school went by like normal kids being harsh and judging others on things they know nothing about. Get home its fine…until dad comes home and him and mom start. Money, money, money thats all its ever about with him, then he takes his anger out by screaming and ordering me to do everything he doesn’t want to. Got in trouble for eating again so maybe i just will stop eating tomorrow…really need someone right now feel so alone…
I’m 16 and a junior at high school.  I have been suicidal for a long time and I have yet to talk to anyone about it. I used to do terrible things to my friends and family. I would lie, cheat, and steal from them. I don’t know why i did it but i did. I realized that it was bad and I stopped. I’m better and happier.
Just recently I heard my friends talking about themselves and saying that their fat and that they need to lose weight. It didn’t used to affect me but I started to believe it. Me  being a thicker and wider person i thought ” well if […]
So every single morning, I wake up. Obviously, either wise i wouldnt be here right now and you wouldn’t be reading this crappy entry. but oh well. anyways, i do my normal routine, get ready for school, stare at myself in the mirror, criticize myself, decide whether or not i should skip breakfast, blahblahblah. sounding familiar? .. then i get to school, dont know who to be around with in the morning, should i hang out with my backstabbing friends , or be a loner and get looks and shit? i choose the latter most times. school goes pretty fine, heart hurts everytime i see […]