Well, yes it is me again… well, I had stopped cutting myself for the longest time and then recently I got really upset and… I did it again. Well on another note. I have been diagnosed as bipolar, and a severe case. It is very hard for me. I know lots of people get diagnosed but, I never thought it would be me. I have always known that it runs in my family, but i never thought it would be me since my dad doesn’t have it, and my mom didn’t have it. Well, it is late and I know i don’t sleep at all […]
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Mom
For the past two years, my family has struggled with my mom’s addiction towards alcohol. A year ago, she was told that she wasn’t going to be allowed in our house anymore unless she got help. And she did shortly after. But after awhile, it started again. The drinking, the yelling, the pain, everything. We all knew, my dad, my sister, and I. She, of course, denied it.
About ten days ago, she was served divorce papers from my father. I was on his side, due to the fact that I was hurt, embarrassed, terrorized. She hadn’t realized all the pain she’s caused me for the past two […]
It just seems I cant get a break recently. After all the drama and problems last week, I find out I`ll possibly need another root canal, which my mom cant afford. Shes been slamming stuff around and crying, just upset in general. She keeps saying all I asked you to do is brush your teeth, my credit is maxed out, your dad isnt going to help and then she quits talking to me period.
Its just stressing me out..I feel horrible I keep adding all this pressure, with my appointments and medicine..I cant even get myself to cry anymore. Im sick of being a burden to […]
I’m SORRY! sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…. God I’m sick of being the problm. Always fighting just because I exsist… Fighting over me… I’m sorry… I always cause fights between my mom and stepdad just by exsisting! I wish they could be happy together again, but that can’t happen as long as I’m alive. It hurts. They were screaming and cussing and I couldn’t take it. It hurt… It’s all my fault. I HATE him…
Hi. First off, something I want to say is that no matter how bleak things may look, you are strong, and you can make it through this. <3
My story starts about 5 years ago. all through elementary school I was always the most outgoing and fun-loving girl in our little town. I was never without a friend to play with. That all changed the day of my 11th birthday party. It was the most fun party I had ever had. I was so happy because my dad picked me and my friend up in a semi-truck to bring us home. we got there, and there […]
I’m done. Nothing I do is ever enough, and it never will be. My entire life has been one big failure after another, and I am so tired of trying.
Funny thing is, if you saw me on the street, you’d never know my life is a living hell. I’m “happy.” People are forever telling me how “strong” I am, blah blah blah, but I’m NOT. I just put on a good face. I go through the motions of daily life, but inside, I’m screaming.
Why do I want to die? Ha! Take your pick of reasons-I’ve got plenty of ’em! Let’s start with a little history, […]
i was so close. so close. my evil sister told my mom that the past few days i have been overdosing (she knows everything bout me) my mom went into a flip attack and started screaming at me other shit i was so hurt my sister told more hurt my knew before i left the earth. she was contemplating letting it go or taking me to the hospital. she chose hospital. ha i got out of that, thank god. now im in trouble. like lots of trouble. i want away and out of my family im fed up qith them, they parent based on […]
I was always in the dark, but continuely fighting
Always afraid to fall asleep, and to let my head rest on the pillow
Living was and is hard, all the pushing, punching and biting
And still I sat there watching her beaten, he laughed like it was a joke
I held her, she held me
We were a very disfunctional family
When he took me from bed at night, he kept me in his room
Crying from hurt and fright
A young girl, from age three to age five
Abused and knew he was sick […]
It sounds weird, but I’ve been in a way, staking your profile on here since you sent me your first post. That’s how much I care. Why? Because if you DO do it, I don’t want to learn from some depressing story on the news. Either way it wouldn’t be any fun… Maybe it’s because I don’t want another Aunt Cheri. Well, that’s actually one reason… Another reason? Because you are my closest friend. Even though I’ve only seen you in person twice, you are the only one that knows about 90% of my secrets. I just wish you would tell me when you want […]
Today I started my “project”. I’m sick of the world, but my best and pretty much only friend wants me to stay with her until highschool, because she’s struggling with life as well. So I figured that if I slowly starve myself to death, I can stay with her, but as soon as school is out, the pain of starving will make it easier for me to just end life. I eat a lot so I’m not going to full out starve myself, but become majorly bulimic… Honestly, nobody on this site probably cares, but I just want to put it out there. I hate […]
I guess ill start from the begining… I grew up without a father, for my childhood, I never had fun because I was always forced to do homework from books that you can buy. If I did a problem wrong, I would get hit with a wooden stick on the hands or slapped in the face… I always enjoyed games since I grew attached to it considering my mom was at work. Playing games also were the part of the my life where I would unstress my selfI also never had an actual summer since my mom still forced me to to spend all my […]
The thought of death sometimes gives me this warm tingly feeling inside. The thought of never having to worry about my life, or about what I am going to do with my life gives me a high. I look at knives and I cant help but pick one up…….I run my finger over the blade to feel how sharp it is, As I do that I think what would happen to my family? my friends? my boyfriend? Would I be selfish for leaving this world and leaving them behind? The pain of knowing how much it would hurt others is more painful than actually being here. I […]
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
im 17.. i feel like such a little kid around every one.. they all treat me that way.. little things mess with me really bad. i have borderline personality disorder.. i haven’t had a very good life and i understand that.. i understand that there are people out there who have had it worse than me.. i just don’t no why all this has happened too me. if there really is a god out there then why are all of these good people having bad things happen to them..i was raped by my brother and my little sisters brother from the time i was 5 […]
Im 21 years old and have attempted suicide 5 times. I was sexually and physically abused growing up by my alcoholic dad and emotionally and mentally abused by my mom.  I have been raped more times than i can count by more than 7 diferent people all belonging to the same group of friends. I got pregnant by one of them and that made me more depressed but then i became to welcome the fact that i would have someone i could love and would be loved back. at 21 and a half weeks on July 17, 2011 i gave birth to a stillborn 5 ounce baby girl who was […]
Please dont feel sorry for me. I hate that. I’m only 17, I seem young to have gone through as much as I have. My life has gone to ruins. Ive been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’m bipolar adhd horrible anxiety and under weight. I take lots of medicine. But I’m tired of the life I’m living. 14 years ago my mom hung herself in a bathroom. She was addicted to cocaine and 3 men that she was buying from raped her. The doctor who did the exam on her said she wouldnt try to kill herself bqut she did. She did cocaine […]
Once when I was little I was happy and carefree I used to run around laughing
Until it was time for tea I used to play games And smile all the time I used to feel on top of the world I used to feel fine It’s amazing how things change When people let you down And how that once happy face Turns into a solemn frown
You search and search For someone who cares Anyone who understands Anyone who dares Loneliness, it hurts It kills you deep inside It makes you feel empty It stops you in your stride You cry yourself to sleep Hugging your pillow tight Wishing for someone To hold you through the night Once when I was little I was happy and carefree Now […]
I am here just to tell anyone and everyone that suicide is not worth it. I am a victim to depression and I once considered committing suicide. With tears in my eyes and a knife in my hand, I thought to myself. Is this really the only way to be happy, is life really all about misery and sorrow? I put the knife down. I confesed to my mom and she said we could give therapy a try. At first I was very sceptic because I did not like the idea of telling a random stranger all my secrets. But after a while, my depression […]
Its been almost 2 months since my dad agreed to stay out of our lives. Ive hated every minute of it, Ive sent him messages, texts, basically anything to get him to contact. After our last arguement a few weeks ago, he said fine..I mean he didnt even fight to see me..He spent ten years away, in prison. Now its been almost 3 years since hes been out..Ive only seen him almost 2 years out of that. My mom keeps saying instead of being so rude to him, which I will admit im doing now because he wont respond at all, try asking if he`ll […]
Life was always hard on me, from the day I was born.. with an alcohlic father who had abandoned me and my mother when I was 2 and a mother who’s hobby is to blame me for everything and yell at me.. Really no one to care for me at this age. I was always alone and I tried my best to always get out of the house as much as I could because why would I stay there..
When I got older and there had been more yelling towards me, neglect, and beatings.. I even remember one time when i was in grade 2 and […]