ive lost everything. My money, my friends, my family, my job. People keep telling me “oh you’re only 16 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you” but I know that’s total bs. Of those 16 years, I’ve been depressed for 6 and I’ve wanted to die for 4. I don’t want to see what life brings in 30 years. Because I already know what it’s gonna be like. Me miserable, alone, broke, probably homeless living off booze weed and ramen I cook using trash fires and a pot I stole from walmart. Trying to find a way to die but unable to actually do […]
Tag:
Money
Hey guys here is my story of selfishness, and my un valid reasons for wanting to take my life. Im 23 I live in the UK. Basicly think im a person who just doesnt know how to survive in realworld and make sensible adult decisions. Been to university twice to persue my dream career of becoming an actor or a drama teacher. Both times ended up dropping out due to just [artying all time and making terrible choices. I spend money like an absolurte moron take out payday loans just to spend money to try and make myself feel better. Last octoper I self admitted […]
If we could all just win a few million dollars, would that make a difference to anyone?
If you had one wish would you choose money, or death?
I think I would choose the money because I believe I could buy the happiness I always wanted with that and plus If I had the money death would be a breeze! I could afford to buy all the drugs in the world have my own house were I could die peacefully if I choose…
BUT… that will never happen, FML, I just want to die die die!
I dont know where to start.  I’ve been trying to deal with my depression for a long time now and no matter what i just cant be happy.  There are a lot of things that have happened to me and my family in the last few years that contribute to my depression.  Suicide is always something that crosses my mind everyday.  And i don’t know if i want to do it or not.
I guess i could start talking about my family and how they contribute to my demise. Â First off theres my brother (i wont use his real name so he will be ‘mike’ for this” mike […]
Poem and how I’m feeling
I log on to my pc
I built it with my own hands and money
I see the backdrop of a starry sky and moon
In my ear I have a music box tune running
And tears are trying to flood into the room
A simple child’s song that brings out memories I wish I had
Each little tinkle, trickle and bom
A music box, xylophone, a trumpet and an instrument unknown
From innocence it sends me
Unto the darker strokes that bring the sadness to the fore
It highlights a lot of inconsistencies
And points out a lot of hard choices I’ve had […]
That shocked me. I’m not really suicidal, not really. I’m not brave enough to try. But my whole life, I’ve just been waiting to die. Because I don’t feel loveable. I feel like I exist just to bring misery to others, and that it’s my only purpose. My brothers called me Burden when I was little. I never wanted to be that. All I have ever wanted, my whole life, was for someone to look at me, and know me, from my charmingly crafted outer-persona to how I really feel, and just… Still like me. Still care about me. Every single person who I ever […]
I come from a pretty good family. My father is dead but it seems normal to me. I have a car, I’m in college, I will always have a place to stay and enough money to make it through school comfortably. I’ve cut myself before, it was when I was in Iraq. I wasn’t happy, it wasn’t the whole “war” bothering me, it was the people. I don’t like being a girl. I feel out of place. The Army doesn’t care. It was a hard year for me. I’m 24 and I’m staying with my mom until I finish college. She’s nice. Buys me what […]
Today I just feel so sad and alone. Yesterday I found out I won’t get the job of my dream because of a bad performance review by a manger that never liked me. Even though every one else in the office that worked with me back that was willing to write a review my new place won’t take it. I hated that manager then and I hate her even more now since I will never be able to put that job on any application I fill out.
I’ve already been unemployed for a while and am behind in rent and came home to find a disconnection notice from […]
I woke up this morning and the first thought that came in to my head, as always, is that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in this house, in this city, in this country, in my life.
Feeling like this all the time just isn’t normal. There was a time when I was younger I could forget it all, brush off my worries with my friends and alcohol and even when I couldn’t, when it came down to the worse-than-usual days I had my friends to keep me going. I had 3 very good friends back then, 2 neighbours who […]
I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future
but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life
I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..
as much as i wished for a “switch […]
The start of my first “rant”,
Hm I’m not to good at typing things up about my problems but I’m even worse at trying to talk about them, so here this goes!
First off I just wanted to say please do not judge me or think of me as a horrible person for these disgusting facts I will probably type out,
Appreciated.
Well, for most of my life it’s been pretty hard on my family (mum & dad) especially after my sister was born it just got harder, it’s seemed like they have always struggled with money really bad.
My dad used to work away up […]
I am 28 years old still living with my parents and I am ready to give up. In fact giving up is something I have become good at over the years. I now have no money and thousands of dollars in debt (never finished college) oh and by the way my mother is an alcoholic and my father has cancer.Our home is also infested with bedbugs and we have 4 dogs that all they do is bark and go to the bathroom all over the house. I have never had my own car I did move our briefly when I was 23 but that didn’t […]
truthbetold is a jaded individual
urban dictionary says:
a) the end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences,disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person
where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.
b) emotionally numb. having been through so much pain that you simply give up and decide unconciously not to feel anymore. mental suicide.
I also have dormant hatred for humanity, which is awaken when people do or say things that remind me how compassionate us humans can be ..
my friend depression tends to find its way inside my mind during the fall and usually leaves […]
Love this ugly little world we’ve created. Â The only purpose is to screw, eat, sleep, get drunk, get high, and go to work. Â I was lied to. Â I grew up looking at both grandparents, paternal and fraternal–genuinely in love with each other and marriages that lasted over 60 years each. Â I thought I could have that. Can’t anymore. Â You’ve completely sicked up sex so much, it’s nothing but pointless empty monkey humping. Â No love, no respect, no dignity. Â It’s a sick public farce. Â And it’s all about party party party. Â Empty. Â Pointless. Â I’m supposed to fill up 60 to 80 of that mindless garbage?
Can’t find […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
So my brother thought he would sit me down and have a long chat with me about all the mistakes i am making in my life because i obviously don’t see it.
Usually when he starts his criticism rant i just walk off and that’s the end. Except this time all i could do was sit there. I have a broken leg and my crutches were strategically placed away from me. Also how can i walk away on crutches… very slowly and he’d just follow anyway. Plus i was living in HIS house at the time so it’s not like i could go anywhere.
Although i am […]
That’s what it has felt like for a while. Like I’m just lingering in this fucking limbo where I know I’m tired of living, I know I only hurt people and disappoint them and make their lives more difficult. I am really just 21 years of promise culminating into failure. My own boyfriend is kind of sick of me, even. I can tell. I don’t talk about this stuff with him because he doesn’t deserve the burden. Though I guess it’s hard to hide it when you get depressed (I am not diagnosed, my twin brother is; I have too much shame to see a […]
Hey guys here is my story of selfishness, and my un valid reasons for wanting to take my life. Im 23 I live in the UK. Basicly think im a person who just doesnt know how to survive in realworld and make sensible adult decisions. Been to university twice to persue my dream career of becoming an actor or a drama teacher. Both times ended up dropping out due to just [artying all time and making terrible choices. I spend money like an absolurte moron take out payday loans just to spend money to try and make myself feel better. Last octoper I self admitted […]
I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.
I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]
I hate my life… I’m currently 29 years old with no job, no money, no spouse of any kind, no career, no car, failed college, no friends, no hopes, dreams and goals for my life. I’m so sad. I live with my mom because I have no where else to go. The love of my life, we weren’t official but it felt real for 3 years, left me for one of my friends in July, 2011. I got fired from my old job in November 2011 and ever since then I cant seem to get a job thats willing to hire me. I been so […]