I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future
but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life
I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..
as much as i wished for a “switch off” button, it would be okay if i only just have a “skip”/”fast forward” button
I’ve experienced them all, school, work, love, friendship, etc. I noticed that many members of this site are young boys and girls usually with a problem of interpersonal relationship, then i need to tell you all, past that, hell is waiting, hell that is called boredom
I hardly have any reason to live anymore, i mean what is considered reason for living?
money? – I’ve saved enough, i wouldn’t need them where i’m going though, never like money so much
love? – it’s nice when it lasts, left her when i was feeling suicidal
friends? – quite many, almost everyday hanging out with them, but they are content with their lives now, they still think i’m weird for worrying about weird stuffs but they don’t leave me
family? – a loving family who believe in me, might as well opt out now before i degrade even more
movie? – keep living because you want to watch a movie that will be released next year? i realized that they will not stop producing movies, not worth as a reason for living
in a sense, it’s a blessed life, but I still feeling suicidal, it’s like i’m a broken human, nothing excites me anymore, no one can read my expression anymore, they said it’s a perfect poker face
I think only a war scale event can make me feel alive now, if it’s not going to happen, might as well kill myself now, before my mind is breaking